Being Perfect

So, to follow on from my slightly drunken rant last night, here's just a bit of a summary from yesterday - aka, The Greatest Day In The History of Forever.

1. I was incredible nervous, but as the game went on it became increasingly obvious that the Geelong Cats were going to win their first Grand Final in 44 years. And how!

2. To quote some dude who was quoted in the Herald Sun today - All Grand Finals are grand, but some are grander. Isn't that a great quote? Winning by 119 points, the largest winning margin in 111 years of the game, is pretty much as grand as it gets.

3. Geelong played the most perfect game of AFL I have ever seen, and is probably the finest example of modern AFL you're ever gonna see. If you were to show people what the hell our crazy little game is all about and how it's done you would show them this game. Geelong did everything right that they possible could have. Whereas Port Adelaide did everything wrong. You don't lose by 119 points by having an "off day", you lose by 119 points by being completely flogged by a better team. There is no way they could have been better. Not one single thing.

4. Surely, the Geelong Cats team of 2007 will go down as the greatest performing AFL team of all time. Right? Because they did everything you could possibly do. They won 15 games straight, they beat Richmond earlier in the year by over 157 points, they won the Rising Star Award, the Brownlow Medal (there's now a clip online, the Players Association award for Best Player, the Coaches Association award Best Coach, the Norm Smith medal, the VFL grand final, the AFL grand final and had nine players in the 22-member All Australian squad. The only award they lost was the Coleman medal, but that's because we spread our goal kicking around and don't rely on one man.

5. Because we hadn't won for so long and so many people thought we were gonna choke at the last hurdle it was bloody marvellous to win by 119 points, but perhaps in the next finals we play it'll be closer, make it more of a contest.

6. I want to marry Brad Ottens (there! to the right!), my precious sexy love monkey. That 30-metre running tackle was possibly the best play of the entire match. Just amazing athleticism. Could I love Ottens any more? I don't think so! If you do a search of "brad ottens" in Google Images on page two my profile image comes up! The Eternal Sunshine one you can see in the top corner. Loves it! Any man important enough to get Mark Thompson telling a roomful of media to "leave him alone, all of you!" must be worth it, hey?

7. Port Adelaide Power were sort of pathetic, non? Embarassing, shameful, humiliating, terrible... pick your adjective. Six goals in an entire match is just deplorable.

8. Paul Chapman would've been my vote for the Norm Smith medal (Steve Johnson, the winner, would've been my #2, then Ottens, Cam Mooney, Matty Scarlett and, well, the whole damn team!), but Chappers' hanger on Treadrae (left) was phenomenal. Mark of the match, obviously. Mark of the entire finals series? Hmmm...

9. The moment when the final siren rang out was just... the greatest. There were no words. Seeing people like Billy Brownless (four-time Grand Final loser between 1989-1996) crying like that was so great. I indeed shed a tear or two.

10. Mark Thompson: You're a legend!

I searched YouTube for the theme song to play and this is about as good as it gets. It's some woman doing the theme song in sign! The song goes for longer, but that's all there is. We really are "the greatest team of all" though, aren't we? I bet you've never heard "Toreador" like this before!



Now, to the town of Geelong. I give this town a bad rap (other than Portia de Rossi being born here thank you very much) but last night it was like the town just reversed everything that makes it so crummy. They closed down the main street in town and it basically became one big giant street party. On the streets were cars were driving around their horns were beeping non-stop. I - and I am not joking - ran through the streets and high fived anyone who had their car window open. And then were just running around the streets in joyous mayhem, waving flags and scarves around above our head. It was crazy and I loved it. That car that had been painted with blue stripes (below) was hilarious.


So, for now, the city of Geelong is back into my good books. Geelong the footy team are L-E-G-E-N-D-S, never to be bettered. I'll probably only talk about this once more after Wednesday when I'm gonna go to the parade for the players in the city. I think I'm going to make a sign for Brad Ottens - "Ruckie of the Century" perhaps? - and to ask for his hand in marriage. Granted, that may not go down that good, but whatever. We're made for each other, clearly.


PS; I was on TV! On the news when they showed footage from the city centre me and my friends could be seen. That's kind of cool. Gold Logie, please!

For more roundups and pictures and videos and all that stuff you can check out the Geelong Advertiser's website. And trust me, this is the only time I would ever advocate reading that "newspaper".

Oh! I just remembered something. If anybody is a fan of the New York Jets (as in the American football team) then you have a connection to the Geelong Cats! Your "punter" (is that what they're called?) Ben Graham used to play for us. He was a team captain for a while and he was amazing. He once kicked something like 90metres, which is freakin' HUGE.

48 Hours My Arse!

WeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWonWeWon

Not only did he we beat the Port Adelaide Power, we beat them 119 points, making it the highest winning margin in over 100 years of the sport PLUS by winning the Grand Final by 119 points we basically became one of the most (if not the #1) dominent team in the 111-year history of the sport by winning the Rising Star (Joel Selwood), Brownlow Medal (Jimmy Bartel), Coach of the Year (Mark Thompson), Player of the Year (Gary Ablett Jr), Nine All-Australian players (out of 22), the Norm Smith Medal (Steve Johnson), the VFL Grand Final and the AFL Grand Final.

Clearly:

WE. ARE. AMAZING.

I've regularly hated upon my city of Geelong for being a hole, but tonight was the most amazing night in the history of this town. We actually won! For the first time in 44 years (coicidentally (?) the score that Port Adelaide made)! OMG!!!! I'm so excited. I hope I don't have to go to work tomorrow. I have no voice whatsoever!

Away

I'm not here for about 48 hours, I'm afraid. I'm going out for dinner now and then I've got work at 6.30am (yay!) and after that am heading straight over to my friend's place to watch Geelong take on the Port Adelaide Power in the AFL Grand Final and then, most likely, will be braving the pub scene whether we win or lose. And then Sunday is "the morning after" followed by work.

I could be in a very good mood when I return, or could not. It's up to Harley, Ablett, Ling, Ottens, Bartel, Scarlett, Corey and co to decide that.

In my absense you may watch the new video for Alicia Keys' amazing "No One". The video isn't anything mindblowing or anything like that - it shows that Alicia is a great singer and not a great lipsyncer - but the song itself is obviously one of the year's very best. Somehow Alicia has managed to change her voice, so that's something to think about! Methinks she's been burying herself into the Winfield Golds!

The part where she's all "oh oh oh oh oh" is particularly amazing.

Mark Blake or Donnie Darko?!?

**sorry, more sport**

Who is more a cult hero? Mark Blake is another Geelong footy player, but more than that, I went to school with him. In Geelong he's a cult footballer, he's a ruckman (like Ottens!), which means he's a) tall and b) can jump high. Good qualities I would imagine. But the thing with Blake is that he's notoriously fickle when it comes to kicking. He hadn't scored a goal all year and usually just handballs the football to others.

But, then after 29 games, against Richmond (sad, sorry, pathetic Richmond) he finally kicked a goal. And then another. Apparently the crowd went absolutely bezerk and all the Geelong players ran down to him to celebrate. Kind of crazy. And then he kicked another one quickly after and it happened all over again.



I was at work today and noticed they're playing the Geelong theme song (and the Melbourne Storm rugby song, bleh) which I found comical. Usually at my work they play Wilson Phillips, Martika, Taylor Dayne, Shannon Noll and Australia's own Bugle Boys (aka Human Nature).

I Love Brad Ottens

He's definitely one of my favourites. He reminds me of Ben Graham.




By the way, I can't believe it either that I'm doing entries about sport. And frequently at that. I didn't even discuss the Geelong footy team when they beat Richmond by a very record-breaking 157 points earlier in the year. But, trust me, this whole sport thing will stop by next week. There's only one more week of the AFL (best sport ever?) season to go and then it's getting close to summer, which means the dreaded cri... the dreaded crick... ugh, I can barely even say it without wanting to throw up, the dreaded cricket season will be upon us. And bar the two week respite we get in January with the Australian Tennis Open, I take a very long sabbatical from even reading the sport section of the newspaper.

Americans should be grateful they have no idea what cricket is apart from the occasional reference in a British or Australian movie. It's not as bad as rugby league or NFL, but it's pretty darn close!

Jimmy!!!

Jimmy Bartel won the Brownlow!! I didn't think he could (or would), but he did! Way to go! For you international people the Brownlow Medal is the award they give out to the best player of the year. Now all Geelong needs to do is win the Grand Final and they will have done the rare quadruple feat of winning the Rising Star, Brownlow Medal, VFL Grand Final and AFL Grand Final. I know it's entirely out of character for me to be discussing sport (hello!), but I've actually just been holding my tongue (er, fingers?) all year when it comes to Geelong and the AFL. You see, Geelong have lost four Grand Finals in my 21 years, and I was there at the MCG for three of them, and so this year when they were winning game after game after game I didn't wanna say anything, but... but... I can't help it now.


Please Geelong, just win on Saturday and I'll forgive you for years (and years) of torture. Don't expect me to be around here on Saturday as I will be barracking like a hooligan!

PS; Jimmy's a cutie, too. He was wearing a very dapper suit tonight (edit - I got a picture from the ABC website). His "date" for the night was one of the VFL players because his girlfriend is home in Denmark. How cute is that?

The Greatest Team Of All

We are Geelong
The greatest team of all
We are Geelong
We're sometimes always on the ball
We play the game sort of haphazardly as it should be played
(hey!)
At home or far away
Our banners fly high
From dawn to dark
Down at Skilled Stadium Kardinia Park

Thank you Geelong Cats for, effectively, giving me a heart attack. This is what I get from watching sport. But, we're in the grand final of the AFL for the first time in 12 years!! It's sort of like the Superbowl, but involving a sport that's a) watchable, b) tough and c) filled with hot guys. Now, I've gotta go relax because those two and a half hours were so bloody intense. The Cats played poorly (so many mistakes!) but they still won so I sort of don't care. Here's hoping they win next week. I can't handle five losing Grand Finals in my lifetime (and I'm only 21!)

Grrr.

Australian Films of 2006

The last few reviews are up

These last few weekends I have been attending the AFI Festival of Film, which is screening the 15 films (plus the nominated documentaries, shorts and animation) eligible for this year's Australian Film Institute Awards. I thought I'd keep a journal of the movies I'm seeing, just like I did for the Melbourne Film Festival. Two of these films, Irresistible and Like Minds are actually 2006 releases (but they wouldn't have challenged any categories in the 2006 UMAs. Oddly, two other 2006 releases that weren't eligible for last year's AFIs are Happy Feet and BoyTown and, for whatever reason, didn't show up on this year's ballot. Weird. It's disappointing that The Jammed isn't eligible as it could have been a real force to be reckoned with. Oh well.


4, dir. Tim Slade (doco)

Unfortunately unforseen issues meant I was unable to attend the 4 screening. I hope to see it on DVD.

The Bet, dir. Mark Lee

The feature debut of Mark Lee who some of you will remember as the lead from 1980's Gallipoli. You know, the one who wasn't Mel Gibson. The Bet is a tightly wound little thriller. It's sort of like that David Wenham/Anthony Lapaglia movie The Bank, which was also about the stock market, but without the incredibly ridiculous ending (remember Anthony running around with a giant shotgun! lol), although this movie does have a weak final section it's forgivable. The actors are all good enough (I always enjoy seeing Sibylla Budd is anything) and it looks and sounds great with photography by Hugh Miller and original music by John Grey. I was impressed by The Bet, although I could see it's small beginnings (it received no government funding) behind the seams. B

Burke & Wills, dir. Oliver Torr & Matthew Zeremes

Well done to writers, producers and directors Torr and Zeremes for getting Burke & Wills made and then distributed, but unfortunately it's more a success in that area than it is in more crucial aspects. It comes as no surprise to learn that the story of Burke & Wills (not based on the famous story of "Burke and Wills") was originally intended for the stage, because it does feel very stagy. The performances feel cagey, although Zeremes does have some very find moments and shows promise as a screen actor. Perhaps it was the nature of Torr's character of Burke that made him so frustrating, but I wanted a few more facial expressions out of him thank you. There are some moments that indeed show promise behind the camera as well, but it's not enough to make this any more than a hardcore independent feature that ran out of money - there is literally no third act, which - considering where the film ended - could have really improved the film. Oh well, dems are the breaks of independent film making. C

Clubland, dir. Cherie Nowland

I wasn't exactly anticipating Cherie Nowlan's first theatrical feature film since 1997's quite great Thank God He Met Lizzie (with Cate Blanchett and Richard Roxburgh, she has since been working on TV such as the Small Claims miniseries). From the sounds of it it was exactly the sort of movie that Australians have made 1000 times before, but I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it was much better than I had been lead to think. I can't quite put it into words, but it was a nicely blended mix of comedy and drama with fine performances by Brit-import Brenda Blethyn, newcomers Khan Chittenden (much better here than in the vile West, below) and Emma Booth, and industry stalwarts like Frankie J Holdon and Rebecca Gibney. The writing is well done with some great comedy routines for Blethyn stand up comedian mother and a "coming of age" tale that actually feels real ("Is this the Samantha incident all over again?") Definitely a strong contender. B

Dr Plonk, dir. Rolf de Heer

Trust the UMA winning director of eclectic films such as Ten Canoes, Bad Boy Bubby and The Tracker to follow up his biggest success financially, critically and awards-wise with a silent black and white comedy about a time-travelling professor. Made using an original hand-cranked camera and unused black and white film stock and employing a main cast of only three (including Magda Szubanski and Adelaide street Performer Angus Lunghi, aka Mr Spin), Dr Plonk is, quite frankly, the funniest movie of the year. Revelling in the slapstick comedy of the silent era (what with people slipping on banana skins it's like a classy Australia's Funniest Home Videos!) de Heer has crafted a truly original and special piece of cinema. It certainly won't be to everyone's tastes, but if you're willing to give it a try I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

The, best described, inspired lunacy really picks up in the second half of this 80-minute film when Dr Plonk begins travelling back and forth between 1907 and 2008, where people sit like drones in front of the tv watching commercials for a tv movie "The World Is Ending". One scene involving a chase from two police officers is particularly fantastic. I would recommend this to anyone willing to give it a try. De Heer has done it again. A-

Forbidden Lie$, dir. Anna Broinowski (doco)

A hilariously entertaining documentary about one of the most bizarre literary stories of the last decade. It involves the case of Norma Khouri who wrote a book called Forbidden Love about her Muslin friend in Jordon who was murdered by her family in an "honour killing". She wrote the New York Times Bestseller, went of talk shows (there's even a clip from USA Today) and did talks about the subject. And then it was later revealed as a fake. The film, for the first half, follows this story through dramatised sequences and discussion about the topics and such and then the second half of the film is Khouri vehemently trying to defend herself to director Broinowski. They even travel to Jordan where Khouri believes she will be murdered. And then it turns out she's on FBI's watch list! It turns out that every single name, place, time and detail in the book was changed to "protect her family" and we never do find out what's real and what's not. What we do realise is Norma Khouri is fucked up. Drags towards the end, unfortunately. B

The Final Winter, dir. Brian Andrews & Jane Forrest

Okay, first things first: I hate rugby league. No, scratch that. I loathe rugby league. Sure, if I bothered to sit down and watch a match I might get one single iota of an idea as to what in god's name is going on in that ridiculous mess of a game, but why would I wanna punish myself. Last year's worst movie was another Aussie film about rugby so I was wary of The Final Winter but while I didn't have any idea what these people were talking about it wasn't anywhere near as bad as that retched Footy Legends. There were good performances here and it brought up some interesting stuff, such as Australia sporting culture and brought back a time when men had to be men and all that junk, just not enough of it. I wouldn't recommend it for a trip to the cinema, but it's not all bad. I must say that I was disappointed that there were all these locker room scenes and yet not once did we get to see yummy Nathaniel Dean in his skivvies. POOR FORM, GUYS! C+

Global Haywire, dir. Bruce Petty (doco)

Unfortunately unforseen issues meant I was unable to attend the Global Haywire screening. I hope to see it on DVD.

Gone, dir. Ringan Ledwidge

I have issues with Ledwidge's post-Wolf Creek desert thriller. Routinely in horror/thriller movies us audiences begrudge the characters who are idiots and don't simply leave when they get a chance or who, when it comes to fighting the evil baddie, just don't think with any common sense. Well, and here is spoiler territory if you were at all interested (Aussie box office suggests nobody is), in Gone it's all buildup to what is surely a big finale, but once the main girl realises who the American travelling with them really is (dun dun duunnnn) she manages to escape rather easily (due some fortunate wire meshing) and then it ends. It's like some anti-horror movie. All buidup and then when you think the girl is going to be stupid she actually, shock, turns out to be smart and manages to outsmart the killer much fasther than normal. It's weird. C

The Home Song Stories, dir. Tony Ayres

Yes, Joan Chen gives a performance as great as you've heard. Chen is incredibly strong in Tony Ayres' followup to multi-AFI winning Walking on Water film. Thankfully, she doesn't go entirely overboard which, like Brenda Blethyn in Clubland, could have seriously hampened the film experience. Strong work is also put forth by newcomer Irene Chen (no relation) as her daughter. The film looks great, and there is a very well-done third act to give the viewer the allusion that the entire film was as strong. Unfortunately, the second act drags as the story goes around in circles of men, yelling, suicide, making up, etc. However, the final scenes do pack a punch. B-

Irresistible, dir. Ann Turner

Another incrediblty strange movie. Not only does this suburban thriller (or sorts) have Susan Sarandon and Emily Blunt amongst it's major cast members (I know) it's also like some upscale made-for-tv movie that somehow came upon a theatrical release. I mean, things you will find in Irresistible:

Susan Sarandon stalking in the bushes! Insane people! Long lost daughters! A court case! Restraining orders! Possibly incestious love scene! Domestic violence! Alcoholism! Sarandon being attacked by a swarm of wasps! Suspicious wives! Hysterical mothers! Orphans! Pottery!

At times it can be hilarious entertaining (such as seeing Susan Sarandon crouch in the bushes and break into people's homes), or it can also be silly and ridiculous (such as seeing Susan Sarandon crouch in the bushes and break into people's homes). The wasp scene was particularly disturbing for me considering my phobia of them (thank god there weren't any clowns because I may have just flipped my shit.) Still, the one thing that perplexes me still is why a character born in America and raised in Australia (I think) has a British accent. C+

Like Minds, dir. Gregory J Read

Also known as Murderous Intent overseas. An overly confusing bunch of nonsense that gets by because it's well shot and the actors are trying to keep your interest. The story stops making sense at about the 10 minute mark when flashbacks upon flashbacks start. I wonder why Toni decided to take the role in this movie? What does Gregory Read have on her? C

Lucky Miles, dir. Michael James Rowland

--Comments here. Essentially, it was cute and charming, but far too long for such a simple premise. B-

Noise, dir. Matthew Saville

And the prize for most improved goes to Noise. I have previous discussed Matthew Saville's feature debut (after brilliant TV work such as We Can Be Heroes and Love My Way and the short Roy Hollsdotter Live). I decided to see this one a second time because I had nothing better to do and, I'll be damned, I now love this movie. If Noise isn't in my top five for the year then it will have been a very good year for movies. Something about this second viewing deeply moved me. I grew to appreciate Brendan Cowell even more and loved Maia Thomas' debut as the traumatised massacre survivor. I can't quite put my finger on what it was exactly but sometimes a movie just clicks and it's magic. I felt that this time. It was fantastic. A

Razzle Dazzle: A Journey Into Dance, dir. Darren Ashton

LOL I know the whole "mockumentary" thing is getting very stale, but here in Australia I reckon it's as alive as ever (with programs such as We Can Be Heroes, Kath & Kim and Summer Heights High and this film). A comedy about the goings on behind the scenes at two dance child dance academies during the leadup to an annual prized dance competition. It has obsessive mothers (Kerry Armstrong is a hoot), campy choreographers (Ben Miller's Mr Jonathan is obviously riffing off of Corky St Clair), tutus, and 10-year-olds dancers dressed in burkas. There are plenty of hilarious one-liners and the costumes are great to look at. Overall it's just a fun time at the movies. B+

Rogue, dir. Greg McLean

Already discussed here. In summary though, Rogue is a well-made fun entertaining and scary monster flick, which is in stark contrast to the sort of scares director Greg McLean had on offer for his prior film Wolf Creek. As a moviegoing experience I liked it more, but as a filmmaking exorcise it's not quite as good. But, that's neither here nor there really. B+

Romulus, My Father, dir. Richard Roxburgh

A bit of a disappointment for me. It's not bad or anything, but it's not particularly enthralling cinema here. It follows the same path over and over again. Franka Potente shows up. Franka fights with Eric Bana. Franka leaves. Eric and son bond. Franka shows up. etc yada blah blah blah. It's wonderfully shot and Bana gives a good performance (but not one of his best), but the little kid (Kodi-Smit McPhee) pissed me off - "IT'S ME!". C+

West, dir. Daniel Krige

Ugh, do I have to? Paul at Melbourne Film Blog already said everything there is to day, but I guess I'll regurgitate it (regurgitate is an appropriately ugly word to use for West). It's basically a bunch of horrible lowlives who take and sell drugs, drink constantly, have no lives outside of taking and selling drugs and drinking constantly, who suddenly both fall for the same woman. It's a romantic comedy! No. Not at all. Every character is detestible. Am I meant to be rooting for these guys? Am I meant to feel sad when one of the main characters jumps in front of a train? The only good part was the storyline involving a hitrun victim who chooses to dump the drug lifestyle, but the film decided to focus all it's time and energy on revolting cretenous wastes of space instead of a possibly uplifting and human tale. West has, quite frankly, nothing going for it. And not even the opening credits (yes, Paul, I didn't like them either!) F

Words From the City, Natasha Gadd & Rhys Graham

Wall-to-wall hip-hop here, that serves to make the film both rauciously entertaining, but also frightfully depressing. Australia's hip-hop scene hasn't reached the mainstream level of success that America's has (although Hilltop Hoods have) so our music hasn't reached the tipping point of crap. American hip-hop used to be amazing, and now it's just monotone bores who can't speak properly, who dance around in Louis Voitton and think (think?) having bikini-clad boob jobs in their videos makes them great. By contrast many of the artists in Words from the City come off as articulate, smart and socially conscious people who deserve more respect than they get. B


That's it folks.

Linkalia

Here's some links to jog to glance your eyes over.

Time has an article about the lack of romance in cinema these days, with much of the early passages relating back to Baz Luhmann's upcoming (and very much anticipated by moi) romance epic Australia. Sleepless in Seattle was on TV yesterday and I recorded it because I was out, but I just love that movie. It's kind of sad that My Big Fat Greek Wedding is the rom-com that has stuck from the last few years. It's certainly no Sleepless in Seattle or Moonstruck is it?


I've been following the Melbourne Film Blog during MIFF to see what Paul has been saying. His thoughts on David Gordon Green's Snow Angels are very positive, so I'm a tad miffed (lol, pun not intended) that I forgot all about it. I was a fan of Green's Undertow afterall.

XO's Middle Eight has a review of the new Darren Hayes (discussed earlier) album This Delicate Thing We've Made. I have yet to get my hands on a pretty copy of the album, but when I do I will be expecting one of the best albums of the year/decade/forever.

Kevipod has the new Girls Aloud video. Sexy? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Electronic Cerebrectomy (I will never tire of typing that blog name) found a funny/disturbing thing at Roger Ebert's site. I admit to finding Rush Hour 2 a guilty pleasure of sorts, but I have no desire at all to see the third film. It's tired.

I'm not sure where JD got these billboard photos but they're funny as all get out! My favourite is the Christian Coalition of America, although it is true that only we can prevent bears in hats. Also, proof that Anna Faris can make anything funny.

I have to agree with Kenneth in the (212) about Pat Rafter. He's a dish. And even though we don't get to see him running around in small shorts anymore, he does still do underwear advertisements and, well, that's a-okay with me.

Victim of the Time takes a quick (well, 69 minute) look at Christopher Nolan's early film Following. I'd never heard of this and, shockingly (right?), I'm still not interested.

Have a peak at the poster for Paul Haggis' latest, In The Valley of Elah. It's... umm... well, it's sort of shit. I can't even tell that that is Charlize Theron. And there's no Susan Sarandon on the poster! It's all very rah rah Americah, isn't it?

And lastly, Ja at My New Plaid Pants discusses The Blair Witch Project. I concur with every letter of every syllable of ever word. That movie just taps into something that so few films can (for me).

Football!

Hmmm. Football season starts up again next week. AFL (Australian Football League) is one of the only sports I actually follow week to week. I'm lame and support two teams (most normal people only go for one). Naturally, I barrack for the gool ol' Geelong Cats (fact: David Mensch, a former player, used to date Portia De Rossi when she lived here in Grovedale. omg gross :P ) and I also go for the Fremantle Dockers. Glad they're finally coming good since their beginnings were so... well, awful. Anyway. I have a major thing for Freo's captain Matthew Pavlich but there are no good pictures of him out there! What's the deal with that? So here's a picture of him squatting... I think he just kicked a goal.

Man, Aussie football is so much better than shitty American football. Sure, it doesn't make a lick of sense if you haven't grown up with it, but, please, our game has hot muscular men running around in short shorts and sleeveless journseys. Sure, some of them are drug-addicted fuckwits (Ben Cousins = Arsehole) but they're mostly from the West Coast Eagles and who likes them in the first place, anyway?

So, essentially, what I'm getting at is AFL > That American thing called "football". I don't get that sport at all. Also, does American Football have this? NO IT DOESN'T. Or, if it does, I haven't seen it and I need to re-evaluate.

Wait... why am I even talking about sport?

Go Serena!

I know it's all about Australia this weekend so this sorta counts, but Serena Williams is on centre court right now in the Australian Open Grand Slam final with Maria Sharapova and she is whipping the 'Pav's arse! You go Serena! Kick that whiney screaming foghorn's tiny-in-comparison heiny!

About Bloody Time

Thank Christ somebody's saying it. It's about time that anti-homosexual slurs actually became something other than idle gossip. There was a story in Australia earlier this year where a well-known football player made a slur and it was news for about a day. There was all this talk about how the player (Nick Reiwoltd or however it's spelt) should apologise and should educate younger players about descrimination and all that crap. Nobody's heard anything about it since. Yet, if a player says something racially insulting they get shamed and people cry out (so they should) for changes.

And the Mel Gibson example is just way too true and disturbing, I choose not to even think about it just like I choose not to think of that disgusting filth The Passion of the Christ. Ugh.