Teehee. I took the following screengrab from my Facebook profile. It's of a feature called "Lindsay Watch" with updates on where everyone's favourite coked out Utah-residing stripper wannabe is. I found it on the page of supreme earth being Adem (of I'm Always Right - read it, he's a hoot) and promptly added it to my profile even though I'm sort of over Linday.
Also, if there are any readers from Geelong on here then you should definitely listen to 94.7 the Pulse on Friday nights between 8 and 10 as Adem hosts the Inside Splinters show dedicated to extending his love to pop music onto unsuspecting tourists and university crammers. With Adem doing the Inside Splinters show on air and the equivilent columb in Forte alongside my obviously pop-favoured music reviews in the same mag it's like we're a rag tag team of pop obsessives slowly trying to convert this lowly town over to the throws of popdome.
So, Adem, when am I gonna be able to come in and rock out with you?
So, to follow on from my slightly drunken rant last night, here's just a bit of a summary from yesterday - aka, The Greatest Day In The History of Forever.
1. I was incredible nervous, but as the game went on it became increasingly obvious that the Geelong Cats were going to win their first Grand Final in 44 years. And how!
2. To quote some dude who was quoted in the Herald Sun today - All Grand Finals are grand, but some are grander. Isn't that a great quote? Winning by 119 points, the largest winning margin in 111 years of the game, is pretty much as grand as it gets.
3. Geelong played the most perfect game of AFL I have ever seen, and is probably the finest example of modern AFL you're ever gonna see. If you were to show people what the hell our crazy little game is all about and how it's done you would show them this game. Geelong did everything right that they possible could have. Whereas Port Adelaide did everything wrong. You don't lose by 119 points by having an "off day", you lose by 119 points by being completely flogged by a better team. There is no way they could have been better. Not one single thing.
4. Surely, the Geelong Cats team of 2007 will go down as the greatest performing AFL team of all time. Right? Because they did everything you could possibly do. They won 15 games straight, they beat Richmond earlier in the year by over 157 points, they won the Rising Star Award, the Brownlow Medal (there's now a clip online, the Players Association award for Best Player, the Coaches Association award Best Coach, the Norm Smith medal, the VFL grand final, the AFL grand final and had nine players in the 22-member All Australian squad. The only award they lost was the Coleman medal, but that's because we spread our goal kicking around and don't rely on one man.
5. Because we hadn't won for so long and so many people thought we were gonna choke at the last hurdle it was bloody marvellous to win by 119 points, but perhaps in the next finals we play it'll be closer, make it more of a contest.
6. I want to marry Brad Ottens (there! to the right!), my precious sexy love monkey. That 30-metre running tackle was possibly the best play of the entire match. Just amazing athleticism. Could I love Ottens any more? I don't think so! If you do a search of "brad ottens" in Google Images on page two my profile image comes up! The Eternal Sunshine one you can see in the top corner. Loves it! Any man important enough to get Mark Thompson telling a roomful of media to "leave him alone, all of you!" must be worth it, hey?
7. Port Adelaide Power were sort of pathetic, non? Embarassing, shameful, humiliating, terrible... pick your adjective. Six goals in an entire match is just deplorable.
8. Paul Chapman would've been my vote for the Norm Smith medal (Steve Johnson, the winner, would've been my #2, then Ottens, Cam Mooney, Matty Scarlett and, well, the whole damn team!), but Chappers' hanger on Treadrae (left) was phenomenal. Mark of the match, obviously. Mark of the entire finals series? Hmmm...
9. The moment when the final siren rang out was just... the greatest. There were no words. Seeing people like Billy Brownless (four-time Grand Final loser between 1989-1996) crying like that was so great. I indeed shed a tear or two.
10. Mark Thompson: You're a legend!
I searched YouTube for the theme song to play and this is about as good as it gets. It's some woman doing the theme song in sign! The song goes for longer, but that's all there is. We really are "the greatest team of all" though, aren't we? I bet you've never heard "Toreador" like this before!
Now, to the town of Geelong. I give this town a bad rap (other than Portia de Rossi being born here thank you very much) but last night it was like the town just reversed everything that makes it so crummy. They closed down the main street in town and it basically became one big giant street party. On the streets were cars were driving around their horns were beeping non-stop. I - and I am not joking - ran through the streets and high fived anyone who had their car window open. And then were just running around the streets in joyous mayhem, waving flags and scarves around above our head. It was crazy and I loved it. That car that had been painted with blue stripes (below) was hilarious.
So, for now, the city of Geelong is back into my good books. Geelong the footy team are L-E-G-E-N-D-S, never to be bettered. I'll probably only talk about this once more after Wednesday when I'm gonna go to the parade for the players in the city. I think I'm going to make a sign for Brad Ottens - "Ruckie of the Century" perhaps? - and to ask for his hand in marriage. Granted, that may not go down that good, but whatever. We're made for each other, clearly.
PS; I was on TV! On the news when they showed footage from the city centre me and my friends could be seen. That's kind of cool. Gold Logie, please!
For more roundups and pictures and videos and all that stuff you can check out the Geelong Advertiser's website. And trust me, this is the only time I would ever advocate reading that "newspaper".
Oh! I just remembered something. If anybody is a fan of the New York Jets (as in the American football team) then you have a connection to the Geelong Cats! Your "punter" (is that what they're called?) Ben Graham used to play for us. He was a team captain for a while and he was amazing. He once kicked something like 90metres, which is freakin' HUGE.
Who is more a cult hero? Mark Blake is another Geelong footy player, but more than that, I went to school with him. In Geelong he's a cult footballer, he's a ruckman (like Ottens!), which means he's a) tall and b) can jump high. Good qualities I would imagine. But the thing with Blake is that he's notoriously fickle when it comes to kicking. He hadn't scored a goal all year and usually just handballs the football to others.
But, then after 29 games, against Richmond (sad, sorry, pathetic Richmond) he finally kicked a goal. And then another. Apparently the crowd went absolutely bezerk and all the Geelong players ran down to him to celebrate. Kind of crazy. And then he kicked another one quickly after and it happened all over again.
I was at work today and noticed they're playing the Geelong theme song (and the Melbourne Storm rugby song, bleh) which I found comical. Usually at my work they play Wilson Phillips, Martika, Taylor Dayne, Shannon Noll and Australia's own Bugle Boys (aka Human Nature).
He's definitely one of my favourites. He reminds me of Ben Graham.
By the way, I can't believe it either that I'm doing entries about sport. And frequently at that. I didn't even discuss the Geelong footy team when they beat Richmond by a very record-breaking 157 points earlier in the year. But, trust me, this whole sport thing will stop by next week. There's only one more week of the AFL (best sport ever?) season to go and then it's getting close to summer, which means the dreaded cri... the dreaded crick... ugh, I can barely even say it without wanting to throw up, the dreaded cricket season will be upon us. And bar the two week respite we get in January with the Australian Tennis Open, I take a very long sabbatical from even reading the sport section of the newspaper.
Americans should be grateful they have no idea what cricket is apart from the occasional reference in a British or Australian movie. It's not as bad as rugby league or NFL, but it's pretty darn close!
Jimmy Bartel won the Brownlow!! I didn't think he could (or would), but he did! Way to go! For you international people the Brownlow Medal is the award they give out to the best player of the year. Now all Geelong needs to do is win the Grand Final and they will have done the rare quadruple feat of winning the Rising Star, Brownlow Medal, VFL Grand Final and AFL Grand Final. I know it's entirely out of character for me to be discussing sport (hello!), but I've actually just been holding my tongue (er, fingers?) all year when it comes to Geelong and the AFL. You see, Geelong have lost four Grand Finals in my 21 years, and I was there at the MCG for three of them, and so this year when they were winning game after game after game I didn't wanna say anything, but... but... I can't help it now.
Please Geelong, just win on Saturday and I'll forgive you for years (and years) of torture. Don't expect me to be around here on Saturday as I will be barracking like a hooligan!
PS; Jimmy's a cutie, too. He was wearing a very dapper suit tonight (edit - I got a picture from the ABC website). His "date" for the night was one of the VFL players because his girlfriend is home in Denmark. How cute is that?
We are Geelong The greatest team of all We are Geelong We're sometimes always on the ball We play the game sort of haphazardly as it should be played (hey!) At home or far away Our banners fly high From dawn to dark Down at Skilled Stadium Kardinia Park
Thank you Geelong Cats for, effectively, giving me a heart attack. This is what I get from watching sport. But, we're in the grand final of the AFL for the first time in 12 years!! It's sort of like the Superbowl, but involving a sport that's a) watchable, b) tough and c) filled with hot guys. Now, I've gotta go relax because those two and a half hours were so bloody intense. The Cats played poorly (so many mistakes!) but they still won so I sort of don't care. Here's hoping they win next week. I can't handle five losing Grand Finals in my lifetime (and I'm only 21!)
I hate you so much right now. When will Satan gobble you up and spit you out as the world's largest shopping plaza? Go punch somebody in the face and get back to me when you're not a breeding ground for desperate skanky underage hookers.
Hmmm. Football season starts up again next week. AFL (Australian Football League) is one of the only sports I actually follow week to week. I'm lame and support two teams (most normal people only go for one). Naturally, I barrack for the gool ol' Geelong Cats (fact: David Mensch, a former player, used to date Portia De Rossi when she lived here in Grovedale. omg gross :P ) and I also go for the Fremantle Dockers. Glad they're finally coming good since their beginnings were so... well, awful. Anyway. I have a major thing for Freo's captain Matthew Pavlich but there are no good pictures of him out there! What's the deal with that? So here's a picture of him squatting... I think he just kicked a goal.
Man, Aussie football is so much better than shitty American football. Sure, it doesn't make a lick of sense if you haven't grown up with it, but, please, our game has hot muscular men running around in short shorts and sleeveless journseys. Sure, some of them are drug-addicted fuckwits (Ben Cousins = Arsehole) but they're mostly from the West Coast Eagles and who likes them in the first place, anyway?
So, essentially, what I'm getting at is AFL > That American thing called "football". I don't get that sport at all. Also, does American Football have this? NO IT DOESN'T. Or, if it does, I haven't seen it and I need to re-evaluate.
Glenn is a twentysomething freelance writer from Melbourne, Australia. Apart from this blog he is the film editor for Onya Magazine and writes regularly for Trespass Magazine. His work has appeared in The Big Issue, Encore Magazine, Forte Magazine, The Film Experience Blog and was the film correspondent for The Outland Institute radio program on JOY 94.4.
Stale Popcorn, noun, 1. A veritable cornucopia of movie geekdom, celebrity worship, Australian film discussion and all with occasional musical interludes! All wrapped up in the salty buttery taste of movie popcorn that's been sitting in the box for too long. What's not to love?
Everything that is written on this webpage - Stale Popcorn and any tangents from it - is written by me, Glenn Dunks, unless otherwise stated. It is appreciated that if you wish to reproduce any of that you do so with an appropriate link (please do not copy it all because that gives your reader no reason to come by here and possibly increase my traffic).
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