An Open Letter To Hugh Jackman

Dear Hugh Jackman,

I know we missed out on sharing the same birthday by sixteen and a half hours - I was born at 4.30pm you see - but I feel that we share a unique bond, one that cannot be unbroken. You see, you like taking your shirt off and I LIKE LOOKING AT IT. So please keep that up. Nothing makes my day instantly better than seeing pictures of you at the beach, or on the movie set, or in a cafe drinking something soy (wait, have you ever done that?) all of which you freely partake in minus a shirt.

If you're out today on your birthday (and subsequently can't be reading this blog, but whatever, I know you worship it) feel free to just whip off your shirt near some paparazzi and I'll be eternally grateful.

Love Always,

Glenn

[As Blogger just like torturing me with my picture posting tool lately I can't actually provide a picture of Hugh sans shirt. Blogger can die now plz]

Jumping Jamies

Did you know I love Jamie Bell? Cause I do. A lot. He has a new movie coming out some time in the future (Feb 15 for America) called Jumper. It's a science fiction movie directed by Doug Liman and starring, unfortunately, Hayden Christensen and a hilarious-looking Samuel L Jackson. Christensen and Bell play people who can... jump around through space and time? I dunno. The trailer, which can be viewed right here, isn't particularly clear on that point.

But you know what is clear. Jamie Bell looks scrumptious as a crumpet. Can I have some more?

Oklahughma!

I was shocked - SHOCKED AND APPALED! - to realise I hadn't posted any pictures of Hugh Jackman lately, let alone pictures of Hugh Jackman emerging out of water without a shirt on. So, as a means of righting that egregious wrong, here are some pictures of Hugh Jackman emerging out of water without a shirt on (naturally) from JustJared.





Aah, I feel so much better now, don't you too?

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Chris Evans!

Why is Chris Evans so perfect? I mean, really! Not content with looking pretty much unbeatable in the sexy man stakes when he takes his clothes off, his latest photoshoot for GQ has demonstrated that he can work a suit like nobody else. We already saw one photo from the shoot, and now thanks to Kenneth in the (212) we get the rest of the pretty pictures. Pretty is an understatement. He even makes the Superman heavy dark-rimmed glasses the most amazingly sexy accessory. And, seriously, is that suit (the pin stripey one) not just dripping off of him? Yowza. And I absolutely love his S-T-R-U-T pose in the fourth image with the white unbuttoned shirt and black three piece with the shiny scarf. Delicious.




[thankfully, Chris Evans grows a lot]

Chris Evans Puts Some Clothes On(!)

We all know how amazing Chris Evans looks sans clothes, but look at the below image from his new modelling shots in GQ and tell me that he isn't just as delicious in a crazy patterned three piece? If he showed up on my doorstep I definitely wouldn't turn him away for wearing that, that's for sure!

Jamie the Joker

'What happens if I get an erection? What happens if I don't get an erection? Is she going to be upset?' There's a lot of things to consider! ...I'd walk up to David and say, 'Oh David, I should wear a sock.' He's like, 'don't worry about the sock.' So I'm buck naked in the treehouse? He's like... 'yeah'.

Y'all know I love love love Jamie Bell and he recently did an interview and photospread for Dazed and Confused, which you can read here. Some of the photos - not the one to the left - are kind of bizarre and in one or two he has Joker (as in Batman) makeup on. I'm not sure what to make of that.

All you British Bell fans will need to let me know how his new film Hallem Foe is like! It's released over in the UK on August 31. I doubt Australia will have as much luck. Below are some more pictures from the photoshoot (there are eight in total, so click the link for the article to see the rest).








(okay, so I posted all the pictures. I couldn't help myself.)

Don Hany is Hot

So, I saw Lucky Miles (Michael James Rowland's feature debut) yesterday, a cute little Aussie movie that takes the piss out of refugees, boat people and aussie police. It's an equal opportunist comedy. Make fun of the Iranians and the Australians. It's quite charmingly funny and Rodney Afif (left) is really great. Unfortunately it's way too long for a movie that can be boiled down to one five-word sentence "Refugees lost in the desert" and the main character (Kenneth Moraleda) was really getting on my nerves. B-

The best bit of the movie though was Don Hany. Yummy. He used to be on the short-lived White Collar Blue and since then hasn't really done much at all that I've seen. He is in that new(ish) Sigourney Weaver movie The TV Set. But, the best thing about him is that he's majorly good looking. The only picture I can find of him on the net that's bigger than 100x100 pixels is his IMDb profile image. So, er, here it is.

You may not be able to sense the hotness, but it's there when he's moving around on screen.


(if you click him, he grows)

How about they set the next one at a nudist colony?

In the tradition of Ja's The Greatest Movie... series, I saw a certain movie was to be on TV the other night. I checked it out on IMDb and Wiki and discovered the above text and thought "Surely this will be the greatest movie that features a little man emerging out of another man's penis". You'd think a movie with the highlighted death scenes would be sort of hilarious, but no. Leprechaun 4: Space Platoon was ten different kinds of shite. I mean, the leprechaun emerges from the guy's penis! How could they ruin that? (granted, it was the funniest bit in the movie, but still sort of stupid). And when the leprechaun picks up a tray with all sorts of acid-like products on he then just throws the tray and squashes the guy's face. Strange.


Yet, the biggest question I have is how did the leprechaun get into space?! I mean, last time I saw him he was livin' it up in Las Vegas. And now he's in space? Bizarre. The best part of the movie was actually seeing the lead male Brent Jasmer conveniently shred his shirt for the last 15 minutes. He's not my usual type, what with the blank-beekcakeyness, but anything that took the attention away from the surrounding mediocrity was a-okay with me. So, naturally, here are some screencaps that I took (because I got nothin' better to do, apparently).


...and because it's my favourite...

(he's not even doing what you think he's doing. It was just an unfortunate moment to capture)
(click to watch them grow)
It did have Guy Siner as a human/computer hybrid mad scientist. He turns into a hideous half man/half spider thing towards the end of the movie. It wasn't funny. Although I did chucklen when the spider thing tried to grab the lead female (that'd be someone by the name of Jessica Collins) and instead of grabbing her he/it grabbed her pants and so she spent the last 10 minutes running around in her skivvies. Nice, huh? Here's a picture of it for the, what? Five guys who like women around here. Of course I chose a moment with the hideous spider creature thing in it to.


Has there ever been a horror film set at a nudist colony? Cause that'd be hilarious.

Still, Leprechaun 4: Space Platoon is still the greatest movie ever to feature a small man emerging from another man's penis. It's just that that, however much unfortunate, that doesn't really have a lot in movies.

Ithinkijustdiedalittle

Seriously. Hugh Jackman. STOP PLAYING WITH MY MIND! Thanks to Ja for compiling these images from JustJared of Hugh on the set of Australia. I am blatantly stealing them, but whatever. There are also some lovely pictures of Nicole Kidman (with Keith Urban in a few) such as the one to the left.

And because Hugh Jackman is always better with clothes off rather than on, dlisted has some photos of Hugh at Bondi. I really need to move there. He always seems to be shirtless around that place!




Seriously. SEXY. AS. FUCK.

Also, the Brisbane Times has an article about Baz Luhrmann's reaction to the recent overhaul of Australian film funding, which I previously discussed here. The news is really all good for the Australian industry. Here's hoping we really can start making more large-scale films (obviously not the size of Australia and it's $100mil budget) that will reach more people both here and overseas.

Linksville, Pop. 5

I loved Jindabyne, y'all know that (it may or may not be up for an obscene 9 UMA awards in the major categories alone, *looks around with shifty eyes*) and I love this interview with Ray Lawrence from the LA Weekly. He's such an intelligent man and he gives great interview.

L.A. WEEKLY: Even though you once nearly made a film about a woman crossing the Australian outback by camel, the three films you’ve directed are all group portraits and ensemble pieces.

RAY LAWRENCE: I do seem to like the ensemble thing. I guess I might get bored [working] with just one or two people for eight weeks. Somebody said that the films are a trilogy on death and family, and you could also look at it that way, I suppose.

Here's hoping that the "Australian Terrence Malick" works again quickly. I need his movies to feed my desire for good mature drama, which is increasingly rare, unfortunately. Even if nobody outside of Australia seemingly wants to go see them. Except Ja. I love Ja for loving Ray.

Speaking of Ja, his Pic of the Day (not the one to the right) is from another horror film (surely you remember the last one) but this time I am not objecting. I am quietly agreeing. Quietly? I don't do anything quietly. But I am here because as much as the idea of a remake of Halloween fills me with equal parts bile and hilarity (the minds of those Hollywood folk) I am an unabashed fan of the previously most maligned horror remake, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Still, I don't really have faith for this Halloween remake after all the stuff we've heard about it. And I adored Rob Zombie's Devil's Rejects (a grindhouse homage if ever I saw one.)

Have you seen the trailer for Day Watch. It looks absolutely bonkers and I love it. There's a horse charging through a brick wall, there's the wheel sequence from Pirates of the Caribbean 2 en masse, there's vertical car chases and there appears to be ample melodrama, nudity and quirkiness. I haven't seen Night Watch, but maybe I should.

This picture of Mark Wahlberg certainly amused me, alright. But one of the comments really bugged me. "Poor guy didn't age very well." Ugh. I'm assuming this person (and the other 40-year-old fat men/twentysomething size queens just like him) are of the "if he isn't a 21-year-old muscle queen then he ain't hot" or whatever. If Mark Wahlberg ain't sexy then I don't know who is. Did these people see him during the awards season. He was damn fine. Ugh. Gay people annoy me so much sometimes. Lord knows what would happen if it turned out Wahlberg was actually gay. He'd probably be seen as ancient. Don't people realise men (and women!) get better looking as they age. It's the reason why so many of my celebrity crushes are actually men who, if in real life, would be way too inappropraitely aged for me. Anyway. People are stupid.

Have y'all heard Rihanna's follow-up to "Umbrella"? To quote music bible PopJustice, "With 'Shut Up And Drive' she has already equaled the previous Rihanna record - two listenable songs on one album". So way to go Rihanna. Your last two albums weren't worth the dog shit they were covered it, but with the amazing "Umbrella" and the not-as-amazing-but-amazing-all-the-same "Shut Up and Drive" you're on your way to making me care. Listen to it over yonder.

And lastly, can I just give out a reminded to all Aussies, Brits and Europeans (not sure about elsewhere) but Groove Armada's Soundboy Rock album was released this week. It's a pretty great album, but you should check it out for the most amazing super-dooper terrific amazing amazing amazing thrilling amazing song of the year. I made a passing reference (yeah, as if) to it earlier in the year. If you are as-of-the-moment unaware of how flatout genius "Song 4 Mutya (Out of Control)" -featuring the divine Mutya Beuna- is, just wait a month for when the single is released and it, by all deserved rights, explodes and becomes the song of the UK/European summer. I still stand by my below quote. It's brilliant.

It's like they took everything that was great about Annie's "Chewing Gun", Space Cowboy's "My Egyptian Lover" and Basement Jaxx's "Good Luck" and then injected the unreleased techno soundtrack of a futuristic sci-fi rip-off of Kill Bill!

Hump Day Hottie: Jamie Bell

Teehee, hush you! Y'all knew I was gonna do this. It is my honour to present this week's hump day hottie to you guys and considering Nat has already given the hump day hottie title to my other obsession I figured why not. Plus, I'm going through a big Jamie phase right now. What with his leaving me MySpace messages and all (it's really him!) and the recent news that he's gonna get buck naked on stage (I'm thinking of having a fundraiser to get me to London so I can see Equus with Jamie. Any takers?)

Read the rest as part of my guest-blogging stint at The Film Experience

Best. Day. Ever.

Okay, so, yesterday was pretty much the best day ever, alright. Pretty much because of two things. I will discuss each of them.

Reason #1
The Best Amazon Package Ever

Yesterday, I finally got my Amazon purchases and, omg, so good. I got the second and final season of my favourite show of all time Twin Peaks, which I have been waiting for for something like four years. I've already seen it, but that was only on dodgy VHS so I can't wait to watch it again. It was clearly one of the most polarising seasons of a television series ever. Some loved it, some despised it with the burning fire of a thousand suns. I watched the first 15 minutes or so of the season opener and it's already the most bizarre thing you're ever likely to see on TV. So great.

I also received the new "Music Edition" (that's a new one) for my favourite movie of all time, All That Jazz. It's so good. I love it. It has a new feature that skips directly to the musical sequences to save all that time and effort of fast forward through the extra bits. This movie just draws me in so much. I watch one bit and I need to watch another and another and then I need to watch the entire 10 minute finale and then I wanna watch it all over again.

I also received the special edition of Cabaret, which was uber cheap. I think the only version available in Australia is a feature-free edition so this was a worthy upgrade.

Reason #2
Jamie Bell

Jamie Bell. I love him so. Like, majorly. But y'all know that. Yesterday I read the news that Jamie is going to be taking over from Daniel Radcliffe in the West End play Equus. Yes. Jamie will be getting buck wild on stage... IN ENGLAND! Ugh. Nevertheless, my Jamie is gonna be in Equus and I'm super happy for him. It'll give him publicity everywhere, which he apparently needs because according to the Daily Mail article about it he had faded into obscurity (yeah, if you don't pay attention to indie movies and Green Day videoclips and freakin' KING KONG). Whatevs.

Hopefully we'll get some nice advertising material along the lines of what Daniel Radcliffe got. I always figured Jamie would be the kind of guy to go balls out on camera though anyway. I think it's because he's British? They seem to do that more over there than in America

If you want to follow LuLu and Ja's suggestion of a fundraiser to get me over there to go see Equus then feel free to give me your money. That'd totally be the greatest present ever.

Did I tell you guys that I replied to Jamie's golden girl porn MySpace message? I told him I think I should be embarassed that he seemingly discovered my shrine. And he replied... *sigh*... he replied:

nuttin to be embarassed bout mate
it alright. good to be thought of ya know! i didnt photoshop the golden girls pic i found it on the net.
so keep in touch and keep blogging

cheers

He... likes... to... be... though... of... BY ME!!! Holy shit, right?!

God, he tortures me so (and if he's reading this then I HOPE HE'S HAPPY!!)

I say all that with the utmost cheekiness.

Hugh in the water

I've given up even trying to think of witty subject titles for entries relating to Hugh Jackman. And, for this entry, as I do so many, I'm not even going to write anything other than this: Hugh Jackman Shirtless.


More at JustJared