I Like to Torture Myself

This is sort of just to remind me that there is a movie called Death Proof coming out on November 8 (we finally have a release date!) and that it really exists and it isn't just a whole lot of smoke and mirrors and inuendo and lies that the brothers Weinstein are pulling on us. I just need to keep repeating to myself "four months, five days, four months, five days, four months, five days..."

Needless to say, it's only slightly comforting. Especially when we are the last country on the planet* to get it. I dread to think what will be made of Planet Terror.



*Okay, so maybe not officially, but of all the countries with release dates, we are the last one. Uzbekistan doesn't have a release date, so that's something, I guess!

Please

Please see this movie. It's name is Jindabyne. It has just opened to limited release in America (so, that probably only means New York City and Los Angeles). It's really quite a smashing doo of a film and y'all know that I quite liked it. If you see it this week then you'll (hopefully) know what I'm going on about when I do my UMA Awards soon. It's a solid #1 in at least three major categories. So, yes, I do wish you would go see it. It has The Lovely Laura Linney after all.

Cheers.

Announcement

LOL. I totally make it sound like it's even remotely interesting. It's about my "annual" awards, The UMAs. Let it be known I am only going to see two more 2006 films theatrically - Inland Empire and Curse of the Golden Flower because I want to see them for myself, not because I think I should just so I can add one person to the Best Actor category (that means you Ryan Gosling). I figure, by April that I just have to cut them off unless I really want to see them (such as those two films I mentioned). So that means there will be no Half Nelson, Running with Scissors, The Painted Veil (I really did want to see this but it has no release date. If it suddenly gets released within the next month I'll totally see it though), Sherrybaby, Fur (YES, even though it's Nicole), Three Times, The Science of Sleep, The Dead Girl (I did really want to see it but the time has passed) or a few others.

There's a few more that I just won't get to see such as Venus, Letters From Iwo Jima (ugh, I really wanted to see this one too), Blood Diamond, etc. You can blame bad distribution for some and disinterest for others. I can't see everything! I'll choose to see some of these on DVD and adjust the awards when I do, but... yeah. Don't expect them to be getting any prizes this time around despite high praise from places (and Oscar nominations for some). I blame the distributors for not releasing stuff like Half Nelson when it had Oscar buzz. They've lost my $12 now. And I only have illegal DVDs (thanks Par! thanks Georgie!) for being able to see Dixie Chicks: Shut Up & Sing and Factory Girl. At least that's something. I wish they'd just release movies like Fur or The Dead Girl as direct-to-DVD. At least we'd get to see them.

I still have some 2006 films to see on DVD that are in my QuickFlix queue, stuff like The Wind that Shakes the Barley, Spellbound 2 Wordplay, BoyTown, Art School Confidential (I know it's supposedly shithouse, but it's Zwigoff!) and some others.

But. Yeah. Hopefully when Inland Empire finally gets here I'll be able to do my awards, because that's probably the only movie left that even has a hope to disrupting the major categories (Picture, Director, Actress specifically). By the way, I have finally decided on a concrete final five for my Best Picture category should Inland Empire not make it. I was umming and aahing over what the last slot should go to, but I decided and it's delightfully off-centre (no, not The Black Dahlia) so I'm happy now. Although that final spot in the director category is up for grabs still. Best Actress is still tricky but I think I've got it, although as mentioned, Laura Dern could throw a wrench into the works. Supporting Actor is, typically, a big fat mess with only one performance that I just wanna surround myself in, but I think there's a surprise or two in there (rock stars! mutes! non-performers! but that could still change).

edit: So, I'm scrapping Inland Empire from the awards. Reasoning? Well, turns out the movie has a new Aussie release date. It makes me wanna throw up (JUNE 21!!) So, I think when I see Golden Flower (out in 2 weeks I think) I'm just gonna go ahead with the UMAs because I'm not waiting until bloody JUNE! Ugh. I tellsya. The lineup is still pretty good though and there's good films represented throughout so the omission of Inland Empire won't be felt that badly. But still. I totally expected it to play a somewhat major part. Oh well.

Rogue Issues

So, Greg McLean's last directorial effort was the terror-injected Wolf Creek. It was pretty great as those sort of movies go and Greg McLean could clearly be seen as a man of talent (remembering some of those scenes just gives me chills). So, naturally, when word came out about McLean's next picture, the mad-crocodile thriller Rogue, I was pretty excited. It has a freakin' kickarse cast - Radha Mitchell, Michael Vartan, Sam Worthington, Heather Mitchell (ASHKA!!!!!!!!!), John Jarratt, Stephen Curry, Mia Wasikowska and some more. It's set in the Northern Territory (cue stunning cinematography) and, early word gave us all hope that it could be really great.

But, of course, the Harvey Weinstein train had to come along and derail all of that. The movie had about 20 different release dates in America, and had all of about none here in Australia. There has never been a poster (there's been fan made ones though!) and no trailer. There are scant few still images on the net (maybe five or six in total). It's almost as if the movie didn't exist.

Then today, I read the horrifying news that Rogue was going straight-to-dvd! (link curtosy of My New Plaid Pants.) I was shocked, to say the least. How does a movie that costs up to (but most likely more than) $20 million dollars and from the easiest genre to sell to American audiences (horror) go direct-to-dvd? Is it because the Weinstein's were disappointed with the American returns of Wolf Creek? Well, maybe they would have made more if they didn't release it ON CHRISTMAS DAY! Ugh. Or was it because the other mad croc film, Primevil, died at the box office even though there was no advertising to make customers believe there was even a crocodile in it!

So, there I was - shocked. I told my friend Simon (who lives outside of Sydney) and he informed me that Australia at least still had a release date for Rogue of August 30. Still some time away, but I can deal. I'm still scared it will go direct-to-dvd, which would be strange considering Wolf Creek is one of the most successful and famous Aussie films of the last decade. All they have to do is throw a "from the director of Wolf Creek" on the poster and it's sold to a fairly decent amount of people.

But THEN, I start to peruse the IMDb forums because occasionally the people on there actually dig up something worth nothing. And, ta-dah, they sorta did. Over at Moviehole they were reporting the direct-to-dvdness of Rogue yet had to edit it later and put a disclaimer at the top of the page that read as thus. (edit - Bloody Disgusting is reporting it too)

The Fangoria report, mentioned below, was a little off it seems. The films local distributor tells us that "Hot off the press : The Rogue U.S DVD release is wrong, Weinstein are still releasing in the US market as are we [in AU]. TWC have pulled the info off the site."

So, what does that mean? Well,it means that the Weinstein's are probably still planning on releasing Rogue theatrically in the USA and that the Australian distributer (Village Roadshow? Who?) is definitely still releasing it theatrically. Maybe the DVD thing was just a rumour? Who knows. There's still the not-so-slight possibility that it is indeed still going to be "[...] delegated to a few bits of white space at Blockbuster."


I suppose we won't know until we actually get a poster or a trailer or something that gives us a vague idea of what the hell is going on over at the Weinstein Company. Crazy.

Although, in all honesty, the reason this film deserves to be shown in US cinemas is so American audiences can experience the brilliance that is ASHKA!!!!!!!!! Granted, it's not actually ASHKA!!!!!!! in the movie, but it's CLOSE ENOUGH!

Australian Releasings

This is only for Australians who may be interesting in dates for 2007 movies. Of course, these are subject to change and not every title is listed, obviously. I've put Australian films in white. * denotes ones that I have an interest in. ** means I really wanna see it NOW. I love the contrast of the weekend of June 14. Teehee. Double feature, anyone?

March 1
Death of a President
How to Eat Fried Worms
The Illusionist*
Man of the Year

March 8
Bobby*
The Good German*
The Hitcher
The Host*
The Notorious Bettie Page**
Wild Hogs

March 15
Bra Boys*
Hollywoodland*
Hot Fuzz*
The Last Kiss
The Night Listener
Razzle Dazzle*
Scoop*
Sixty Six

March 22
Freedom Writers
The Hills Have Eyes 2*
Infamous
Reign Over Me*
School for Scoundrels

March 29
Becoming Jane*
The Lives of Others**
Meet the Robinsons
Mr Bean's Holiday
Running with Scissors

April 5
300*
Alpha Dog
Are We Done Yet?
Happily N'ever After
The Namesake*
Priceless
Shooter
The Singer
Teenager Mutant Ninja Turtles*

April 12
Burke and Wills*
Curse of the Golden Flower*
Disturbia
Primevil
Stomp the Yard
Sunshine**
Tales from Earthsea

April 19
Copying Beethoven
Grind House**
Paris, Je T'aime*
Perfect Stranger
Zodiac*

April 25
Half Nelson*
Joyride
The Kingdom
The Number 23
Premonition
The Reaping

May 3
The History Boys
Into Great Silence
Noise
The Science of Sleep*
Spiderman 3*

May 10
28 Weeks Later*
Black Snake Moan**
Deliver Us from Evil*
Fracture
Lucky You

May 17
Clubland*
Reno 911: Miami
Turistas

May 24
Orchestra Seats
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End*

May 31
Gone*
The Marine
Rise
Vacancy

June 7
Amazing Grace
Blades of Glory
Ocean's Thirteen*
The Banquet*
No Country for Old Men

June 14
Shrek the Third
Hostel II

June 21
Bridge to Terabithia
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

June 27
Dr Plonk*

June 28
Evan Almighty

July 2
Transformers*

July 5
Jailhouse Dog

July 12
The Flying Scotsman
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix*

July 19
Live Free or Die Hard

July 26
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
The Simpsons Movie*

August 2
The Invisible
Licence to Wed

August 9
The Bourne Ultimatum**

August 16
Rush Hour 3

August 23
Hot Rod
Knocked Up*
No Reservations

August 30
Ratatouille**
Rogue**

September 6
The Invasion**
Stardust*

September 13
Hairspray*
Pathfinder
Surf's Up

September 27
Resident Evil 3

October 4
Brothers Solomon
Untitles Farrelly Brothers Comedy

((Not sure why there's a week missing? Don't I get anything special for my birthday?))

October 18
The Brave One
Michael Clayton*
Mighty Heart

October 25
Eastern Promises*
Super Bad

November 1
Bryan Singer's Trick 'R Treat

November 8
Joe Claus
Things We Lost in the Fire

November 22
Stop Loss
Vantage Point*

November 29
Beowulf
This Christmas

December 6
Bee Movie

December 7
All Lit Up

December 13
The Water Horse

December 26
I Am Legend*
Kite Runner*
Mr Magorium's Wonderful Emporium

December 27
Alien vs Predator 2

Obviously the second half of the year is scarse, so that'll be filled up with time. I wonder when these movies are out in America. Hmmm.

UPDATE!!!

So, I'm having another tiff with Kris from In Contention (criticising him = sorta funny cause he does not react well at all) and I thought I'd update you about the last one we had.

INFAMOUS STILL HASN'T BEEN RELEASED!

Phew. Good to know other countries don't get the chance to see these movies. For maybe a few months after that first little argument I thought my point would be PROVEN WRONG! But, no! Aussie distributers continue to amaze me. Now Kris can attend his Hollywood parties with crabcakes knowing he saw Infamous before most people. Of course there were those people (aka, "everyone else") who saw it before him, which I'm sure still shocks and appals him to this very day. Scary, huh?

edit: Okay, so, I loved Kris' latest reply.

It is just you.

I'm giving you a space to read about what's happening inside. It's about pulling back the mystery and giving these people a face for the readership to be a little closer. It's what I've always tried to do and what I'll continue to do.

Take it or leave it.

"pulling back the mystery"? LOL. He was discussing crabcakes and how Guillermo Navarro reminds him of Alexandre Desplat. Big fuckin' mystery that is. Maybe if he overheard some stuff or if he discussed the actual conversations he had with these people then it'd be good, but just having someone talk about a party they were at isn't really interesting (He was there. ooh! And she was there too, but so-and-so wasn't and then I laughed at a joke and I had a drink and then I went to the bathroom! And then I saw somebody I know but didn't actually talk to them.)

He really needs to learn to handle criticism better if he wants to be a writer.

...

...*explodes*

It's not on their official site, but the mere fact that DendyFilms have picked up Inland Empire for distributions means it won't be 2010 by the time we get to see it. This mysterious April 26 date mentioned on the IMDb forum sounds logical. Well, that it's a Thursday (the day that movies are released here) is the only real clue, but it feels legit.

Man, if that is true though... April 26 can't come soon enough. I'll catch the train up and see the very first session. eeeeeee! So excited. Also, The Notorious Bettie Page is out on March 1. We're finally getting it!!!

Stuff.

Could I be any more excited for Happy Feet? The answer is yes. If they were releasing it in Australia at the same time as the US. Lest we forget that this is actually an Australian co-production (just like Moulin Rouge!, which we got before the states) so I don't know why they're with-holding it from us until Boxing Day. Thanks a bunch.

Although, thanks to my friend Simon, I now know that Lars Von Trier's Manderlay is finally being released here in a week or so. Of course, it's probably shithouse, but 'tev. At least we're getting it, unlike the following titles which, according to Movie Marshall, don't even have distribution for Australia (theatrical or direct-to-video).

Akeela and the Bee
An American Haunting
Bubble
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Down in the Valley
Find me Guilty
Mini's First Time
Shadowboxer
Sherrybaby
The Baxter
The Merchant of Venice
The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio
Wassup Rockers

and there's plenty more where they came from.

I Hate People

Let me change that: I hate distributers who feel the need to torture me by not releasing movies in Australia at the same time as America (okay, you can keep Santa Clause 3, but the others I want NOW, dammit. What advantage do they get by holding Volver until Dec. 21?)

Bitching Out

So, I just had a nice rant over at Kris Tapley's blog. He just wrote something that really pissed me off. Like, MAJORLY.

Y'all know that I hate Australian movie release dates, and one thing that goes hand in hand with that is when pesky American film critics (or journos, whatever they happen to be (I don't consider Dave Poland a critic, but he's definitely part of the act) tell me I not only have to see certain movies, but that I have to see them MULTIPLE TIMES!! I'm sorry, but how many of you go and see every movie two or three times? Rarely, I assume. I don't just have money flowing out of my pockets ya know. I can count the number of movies I've seen twice theatrically on my hands.

So, yeah, when critics/journos tell me that to truly appreciate a movie I need to see it multiple times I get really annoyed. Dave Poland did it all last Oscar season, saying Walk the Line gets better and better every time we sees it. Well, wouldncha know it? I could only see the movie ONCE. It's great for Dave to be able to just go see the same movie over and over again (for free?), but to actually tell me I need to see it multiple times to truly "get" it or whatever, it's insulting!

And then there is a more recent pet peeve to do with critics/journos. So, these guys are getting paid to see movies or they choose to go through the quite arduous task of seeing 90% (or however much) of movies that are released and then have the gaul to actually complain (without shame) at not being able to see a certain movie. And before it's even been released!

And that's what lead to me having a tiny bit of a bitch out at Kris' blog.

This is what he wrote today, after seeing The Departed for the second time mind you.

Anyway, "The Departed." Yeah. It still kicks ass. A lot of it. ... Next week, more craziness. Finally seeing "Infamous" after, like, everyone else has seen the thing.

Umm, excuse me, WHAT?

This is what I wrote. I really didn't wanna come of sounding like a whineing bitch, but this is something that gets up me.

Sorry!! I know you meant nothing by it and that it was just an innocent comment and that this is gonna sound really bitchy, but... maybe you should think before writing stuff like "Finally seeing "Infamous" after, like, everyone else has seen the thing."

It's great that you get to see all these movies once, twice, thrice or seventeen times, but most people can't and it's sort of insulting when you bemoan your inability to see a movie that isn't even released to the public yet. And as a non-American it's even more frustrating considering we won't be getting any of these movies until December and through 2007.

I had a similar annoyance with Dave Poland last year when it seemed that every week he was telling us he had seen "Walk the Line" again and that it just KEEPS GETTING BETTER! Yet, people in the real world have enough trouble seeing a movie one time, let alone six.

**this was a rant about a subject that really gets me pissed, so yeah... nothing personal :P**

Like... do you see where I'm coming from? Infamous isn't even released yet, yet he's complaining (or it comes off as complaining) about not being able to see it yet (cry me a river, plz). Like, I probably won't even see Infamous in the cinema, but that's got more to do with not having enough money to just go about seeing every single movie. I'd love to see all these movies, and see them twice, but I can't. I know it didn't sound bad when he typed it, but when I read it I just didn't like it at all. Like, he was so nonchalant. It's as if these sorts of people have no idea about regular people's movie habits. All these critics and journos do it.

And, seriously, it played at the Telluride, Toronto and Venice film festivals. Last time I checked, the total number of people visiting those festivals this year probably equals about .0000001% of the earth's population. And that's probably an over-estimate. And not all of those visitors saw Infamous.

Ugh. If by some random reason, Kris actually clicked on my blog and is reading this (which I doubt. He's probably seeing The Departed again, teehee)... well, I don't mean anything mean by it. It's like when you're pissed off at something and you aim all your anger at one person, ya know? Yeah. This goes to everyone. It just pisses me off when people complain like that. Like, boohoo. How about having to wait for half a year.