La Link en Rose

I'm feeling uninspired right now, so here are some links to occupy your time.

Indiewire looks at this year's Foreign Language Film Oscar race. There's not much there that we don't already know, but you should read it for the offensive, insulting and downright pathetic grovelling of La Vie en Rose producer Alain Goldman:

"It's so bizarre," says "La Vie en rose" producer Alain Goldman. "Obviously, they did not think let's get the one that has the most chance to win, because then they would have picked 'La Vie en rose.' It was such a good contender to win this year, and they knew that, so I would really like to understand why," he wonders. "What was their goal?"

He goes on further to discuss how Persepolis should be religated to it's own Animated Feature category and leave Foreign Language Film to the hystrionic time-shifting weird ritilin-deficient musical biopics.

Nat at Film Experience has a (surprisingly) long list of GLBT directors and actors working in today's film and television business. It's not exactly the number of gay performers, but more that so many of them seem stuck in the indie/gay ghetto. That's a shame.

On a similar not SameSame has a list of the 25 most influential Gay and Lesbian Australians. On the list is Neil Armfield who has worked in stage and film, including last year's Heath Ledger-Abbie Cornish drug drama Candy. There's Darren Hayes whose album This Delicate Thing We Made was all kinds of excellent, and iOTA who portrayed Hedwig in this year's production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Awards Daily has some stuff on Control, the Ian Curtis biopic that is a) out soon, b) better than La Vie en Rose and c) actually quite good period. I saw Control at MIFF and it went on to win the Audience Awards or somesuch. I still can't help but feel in the back of my Oscar-guessing mind that Samantha Morton is gonna make a play for Best Supporting Actress. She doesn't get much to do but what she does is very noticable. She got nominated for lead for In America (as implausable as that sounded then and now) so all she needs is some buzz and some plaudits before making a move.

The new Golden Compass poster at My New Plaid Pants is much much better than that awful crap they gave us earlier. And Movie Marketing Madness has the new I Am Legend poster. It too is better than the first. So, huzzah's all 'round.

Dear Go Fug Yourself, I think I can speak for the 18.5 million Australians who don't watch McLeod's Daughters that truck stops and psychics named "Mystic Miranda" do not make a good show.

Lastly, TimesOnline is reporting that Al Gore is the favourite to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Oy...

Brett Ratner and the BJ Of Doom!

My first blow job was from a man, but I didn't know it was a man. That's where that comes from. It's based on personal experience. It happens to a lot of people.

This is certainly one of the more... intriguing interviews that I've read in a long time. Brett Ratner, director of the upcoming Rush Hour 3, discusses blowjobs from men pretending to be women, the difference between being a "bear" and a "cub" and how Britany Spears is "complex".

I'm as confused as you why he was even having an interview with The Advocate in the first place, but there you go.

Link, Baby, Link

Here's some links to pass your time!

Despite my dust up last year with Kris from InContention I still enjoy some of the features of his site. New writer Brian Kingsley has taken on the 'From Page to Screen' feature and the first one is Gone Baby Gone, the new film written and directed by Ben Affleck. I predicted Oscar glory for this movie, but the following quote doesn't exactly fill me with confidence:

As far as awards potential goes, I don’t think we’ll see much. It’ll deserve a lot I imagine, specifically for this script and, given the potential, Casey Affleck, but it’s not an Oscar picture. It’s brutal, it’s scary and it doesn’t scream Oscar (as many contenders this year do) more so than genre. However, this can certainly be a critic’s darling if it rouses the right amount of passion.

We'll see. Might be interesting to see Ben Affleck be a writing nominee again though, hey?

The Age has an article about writer/director Tom Kalin (Swoon) and his new film - the Julianne Moore-starring Savage Grace. I'm seeing this film on August 10 as part of MIFF and I'm excited. The Age also has a roundup of how the Aussies did with the Emmy voters. In one category - Best Supporting Actress in a TV Movie or Miniseries - three of the nominees are Australians! That'd be Judy David, Gretta Scacci, Toni Collette. Plus, Anna Paquin is from New Zealand. We stole Russell Crowe from them... Oh and Rachel Griffiths got nominated too, which was great!

I'm not gonna discuss the Emmy nods because many of the shows aren't even on down here (stuff like 30 Rock) but I'm happy about the multiple nods for Heroes and Ugly Betty - a show I am loving despite it's immense flaws - compared to Grey's Anatomy, which I am falling rapidly out of love with with each and every passing episode because of it's immense flaws. Hmmm. Seriously though, can they just give Kyra Sedgwick the Emmy right now? She owns it. Where was Brothers and Sisters though? I thought the Emmys would eat that show up for a breakfast!

MNPP has a quote of the day from Chris Evans. It's gold and it's all about him being shirtless all the time. Apparently some people think he's "too hairy"! Blasphemy! He's the perfect amount of hairy, thank you very much.

The Hot Blog has the poster for Wes Anderson's upcoming release The Darjeeling Limited. It has a very similar design to The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (below). I've had an up and down history with Wes Anderson. I'm in the minority of Rushmore in that I think it's not very good at all. But then I absolutely love love love The Royal Tenenbaums. The Life Aquatic was somewhere in the middle there. I wonder where Darjeeling will fall when it's released later in 2007. Somebody makes a curious comment in the replies to the entry at The Hot Blog - all three of these actors have distinctive noses. Also, if you look in the credits it also has Anjelica Huston and the costumes are done by Milena Canonero. !!!


Electronic Cerebrectomy discusses the new plans for Michael Moore's possible next documentary - gay rights and the Christian left's inability to be rational. Tricky subject, but Moore can do it justice I think. We need someone like him to get it out there on CNN and not just have some obvious panel of "experts" or something on the sidelines at some fringe festival.

And lastly Dave at Victim of the Time discusses how amazing Six Feet Under is. It wouldn't be my favourite of all time (although it would be top 5 probably along with Twin Peaks, Seinfeld, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and with Sex and the City and Golden Girls battling it out for the final spot) but, those final ten minutes? AMAZING. A few weeks ago there was an interview, in the TV guide that comes with the Herald Sun on Wednesdays, with Rachel Griffiths in which she stated she thought the final ten minutes of Six Feet Under were the finest ten minutes of television in history. I pretty much can't argue with that.

So, naturally, here's the clip! Don't watch it if you intend to watch the entire series (six seasons) some day because it'll ruin everything. If you've seen it already then just... I dunno. Sit there in stunned silence and take it all in. It's stunning. Again - the finest ten minutes ever in the history of television. Don't even try to tell me it's not.

I'm crying by the one minute mark!

I Now Pronounce You Strange Bedfellows

It utterly amazes me that this is only just now making it into press considering I wrote about it back in February. It regards the new Adam Sandler and Obligatory Fat Guy Kevin James film I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and now the plot is an exact ripoff of an Australian movie from a few years back called Strange Bedfellows, which starred Paul Hogan as the reluctant-to-go-gay Adam Sandler role and Michael Caton as the let's-do-it-for-the-benefits Obligatory Fat Guy Kevin James role. They were even firefighters in Strange Bedfellows! Or, at least, voluntary firefighters. Or something. I don't really remember (nor do I care to, either).

But, yes, only now has anybody actually cottoned on to the fact that this big American movie is actually an unofficial remake or something. Towleroad reports on an article from a Queensland paper, The Brisbane Times, which has a quote from Bedfellows director Dean Murphy (who subsequently hasn't made anything since, even though it was the highest grossing Australian film of 2004).

"While he is yet to see the new movie, Murphy said he was struck by the similarities when he saw the trailer on the weekend. He heard other cinemagoers mention Strange Bedfellows as the trailer screened. Murphy has also been receiving emails every day saying Chuck and Larry seems like exactly the same film. 'It's obviously annoying if they have ripped the film off but until we see it, it's so hard to know,' he said. The American distributor of Strange Bedfellows is looking at possible copyright infringement. 'I don't think they've seen the other film yet but … they're going to have a careful look at it and see if there have been any breaches,' Murphy said."

The difference between the films is that the marketing for Bedfellows focused on the hilarity of seeing Hogan and Caton emerging themselves in gay culture (Hogan wearing assless leather chaps) while a dance remix of Debbie Harry's "I Want That Man" played. With Chuck and Larry they seem to be focusing of Obligatory Fat Guy Kevin James being a miserable sod and Adam Sandler being really straight with Jessica Beil. Classy both ways, really.

If this review over at I Hate Renee Zellweger is any indication (which I think I may) then Chuck and Larry is just as crass and tasteless as Strange Bedfellows. Yes, a lot of gay men embrace the camp-side of the culture, but a lot of gay men don't, yet still have a strong place in the GLBT community (just because you use gay.com to hookup with men and not The Peel doesn't mean you're "non-scene" by the way).

In the end they both just seem to be as bad as each other, but as that review mentions the makers probably don't think we care because we're too busy with the latest flouncy musical or Golden Girls marathon.

BTW, I write "Obligatory Fat Guy" because fat guys are hilarious (clearly) and are of constant source of amusement in American comedies. Right? Right!

Glenn Presents 21 Not-Quite-Reviews

Yeah, I've been watching a lot of movies these last few weeks and I've barely haven't mentioned any of them except the theatrical ones (and they weren't anything to get really excited about). I've been a movie-watching mood lately (the biproduct of having limited work hours, hence plenty of spare time, grrr), thing is, my Quickflix membership is only for two DVDs at a time so I've been watching a lot of movies I have already seen because I've found myself in the mood to watch them (so, a lot of these "reviews" are very positive).

"Sister Act followed by Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit? I say... WHY NOT?!"

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, 1962, dir. Aldrich
This camp classic didn't disappoint. It's utterly bonkers, but I really liked it. Bette Davis was a true champ as the title character (well, I guess) but I also thought Joan Crawford as her disabled put-upon sister was terribly too as well (even though nobody ever seems to mention her). It was a tad too long I think, but it's great and I can't help thinking what audiences must have made of Baby Jane during it's release in the '60s. B+

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, 1966, dir. Nichols
This was a movie I had been wanting to see for eons and I loved it. I have a weakness for movies that have a great use of dialogue and language (I've studied it enough, thank you) - that was part of the reason I loved last year's Jindabyne so much, the way it used it's words. Elizabeth Taylor was amazing and it's weird thinking this was Mike Nichols' first film. Crazy, right? A

Rosemary's Baby, 1968, dir. Polanski
Holy Jesus! This was so scary. Mia Farrow was just as amazing as I had been lead to believe. But... aaagh! Scary. A

Idioterne, 1999, dir. von Trier
I briefly mentioned this in passing a while ago by saying "I don't think I liked it" (or something to that effect), and with a while between now and my initial viewing I can confirm that it's easily the lesser of the von Trier films that I have seen. There were great moments and the performances for the most part are spot on, but I just don't think the story was strong enough (obviously a limitation of the Dogme 95 restrictions). Doesn't help that it's an incredibly unsettling topic, but that was entirely Von Trier's intention I know, still doesn't mean I have to like it. C+

Double Indemnity, 1944, dir Wilder
I finally got to see this movie and it's been a long time coming. Y'all all know that this movie is amazing and is a classic so there's no point discussing it. A

Zodiac, 2007, dir. Fincher
This one has continued to ruminate in my mind about a whole month after I saw it. I quite liked it at the time, but was unsure - I had issues. But mostly those issues have been thrown away, because what's on the screen is so strong. I wouldn't consider it my favourite Fincher film, but I would place it right in the middle of his five films (1. Seven, 2. Panic Room, 3. Zodiac, 4. The Game, 5. Fight Club - I'm not a fan of Fight Club). Visually it's stunning and the performances are all top notch. I wish there was a little more to do with the puzzles and such (I love that shit), but it's still a great little movie. B+

Priest, 1994, dir. Bird
I have a weakness for these small British films that deal with GLBT themes. They're made on the cheap, and they look it too, but I think that gives them an intimate rawness. I'd rather watch something like this than a silly bright and shiny American queer film, that's for sure. I dunno. It was good. Raised good questions and ones that are still being dealth with in a rather passive way today. B

The Children's Hour, 1961, dir. Wyler
A smart and moving film about how rumours can destroy. Sure, Audrey Hepburn's character reads as homophobic as the naysaying townmembers, but that's a biproduct of the time it was filmed in and I can't hold it against the film. What is it with lesbians on film and that desire to kill themselves? Crazy. A-

Bus Stop, 1956, dir. Logan
I liked this Marilyn Monroe vehicle and I thought Monroe was excellent in it (her desperate "Oh no!"s were a hoot), definitely right up there with her best performances - I have The Misfits at the top of my DVD queue, and that's apparently her very best so I can't wait. I wasn't a fan of Don Murray, who was subsequently the film's only Oscar nod, but that's because his character was so unlikable. Still, Monroe is great. B

Naked Lunch, 1991, dir. Cronenberg
This is only the third Cronenberg film I've ever seen - after The Fly and A History of Violence - and I guess I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Definitely far out and bonkers and I'm not entirely sure I understand it all (I didn't know anything about the film or the novel it's based on), but as a purely visual experience it's pretty hard to beat. I'm willing to dive into Cronenberg territory, with Videodrome, Crash, Scanners, Dead Ringers, eXistenZ and The Brood on my DVD queue. B

The Hills Have Eyes Part II, 1985, dir. Craven
As I mentioned the other day the movie is sort of blah but THE DOG HAS A FLASHBACK. Hence, it's the greatest movie ever. Or, not really. C+

Material Girls, 2006, dir. Coolidge
Oh god. This wasn't even fun to pay out like other Duffster movies such as Raise Your Voice. D-

Now for some movies I had already seen.

Bring It On, 2000, dir. Reed
God this movie is amazing. Everything about it. Even the fart jokes are funny! I've only grown to appreciate it more on my many many viewings. A-

Sister Act, 1992, dir. Ardolino and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, 1993, dir. Duke
Where has Whoopi Goldberg gone? And Kathy Najimy for that matter. Oh well, these two movies are still incredibly entertaining. I know the second one gets a bum rap for being a teacher-reforms-kids-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-track but it's all about music and said music is really good and it's got Lauryn Hill and I love Lauryn Hill. B+ and B+

Xanadu, 1980, dir. Greenwald
I was gonna write something about this it it's own entry, but really Nat said it all a few months ago (speaking of which - another entry please, Mr Rogers!). B

Drop Dead Gorgeous, 1999, dir. Jann
Okay, so I find this movie hysterically funny. Do you have a problem with that? B+

Batman Returns, 1992, dir. Burton
It was on some peoples minds recently and I was bored when I got home from a heavy night of drinking so, naturally, popped it into the DVD player. Man, I love this movie so much. Visually it is amazing, but Michelle Pfeiffer and Michael Keaton are what makes it transcend. "How could you hit... a woman?!" *bam* teehee. Michelle here is the greatest superhero film performance of all time. A-

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, 1994, dir. Elliot
I'm so glad Stephen Elliot (the director) is back to directing after that disastrous flop Welcome to Woop Woop back in 1997 (and I never did see Eye of the Beholder) because Priscilla is so wonderful. Definitely one of, if not the, funniest movies of the 1990s. A

Now listen here you mullet. Why don't you go light your tampon and blow your box apart because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, Sweetheart!

Cat on the Hot Tin Roof, 1958, dir. Brooks
Dreamy. A+

Pixar Films
I also watched a whole swag of Pixar films - the only two I didn't watch (because I don't own them) were A Bug's Life and Cars. I wish I did own them. But, man, they're all so good.

Toy Story, A-
Toy Story 2, A
Monsters, Inc., B+
Finding Nemo, A-
The Incredibles, A

Phew. Now that I've got all them out of the way, I can move on and stop reminding myself "write about all those movie I've seen lately!" Oh! I did also manage to fit in the entire first season of The Closer for the third time and have since ordered Season 2 on DVD so that should arrive later this week. YAY! I'm too tired to add pictures though. Maybe tomorrow.

The Blair Link Project

The Star Tribube has an article about the new from from, wait for it, Daniel Myrick! Don't know who that is? Well, he is one of the directors of The Blair Witch Project. He's somehow finally gotten around to making a new film. It's all about dead people and cults and an ambulence driver. Interesting? Not sure.

The Chicago Tribune's Marc Caro sighs at the inevitable: Citizen Kane at #1 on the AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies. I gotta agree. Yawn. Citizen Kane is a darn good movie, don't get me wrong, but while I wouldn't have it on my own top 100 if I did one, it's just frightfully dull to see it top every single poll in the history of cinema. Orson Welles' The Magnificent Ambersons didn't even show up on the entire countown! Ugh.

I've been resisting the new Simpsons movie because the television series has just been so downhill for the last 5 years or so, but the trailers have been funny, and now with this new exlusive trailer I am finally convinced. I can't wait for this movie. It looks great. "Spider pig. Spider pig. Does whatever a spider pig does." Although, in terms of animation, Dave Poland reckons that Ratatouille is the best film of the year (so far). Niiice.

Nat at The Film Experience has a great piece on the new members of The Academy (Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Aniston, Daniel Craig, Chiwetel Ejiofor among them - Rinko Kikuchi, Abigail Breslin not).

Adam wants to know who's hotter between River Phoenix or Johnny Depp. That's so easy for me (River!), but I know many others probably disagree, right?

I was going to write something for the Film Music blog-a-thon at Windmills of My Mind but I forgot all about it.

Big Bad Blog discusses Reichen Whathisname's new jewellery line. I've never liked this guy, but I found it entirely hilarious and true-to-form that he was model his own brand wearing next to no clothes and looking like a spokesman for gym queens.

Toweload makes mention of the fact that Isaiah Washington (he of the "faggot" incident on the set of Grey's Anatomy and the Golden Globes) reckons they fired the wrong man. I never understood this man's deal, nor why he would go to rehab because he was a bigot. I've also neverunderstood how minorities can be so ignorant of other minorities. I know being African American and being homosexual are two completely different things, but have we not faced similar battles? Have we not both been seen as lesser people? So when a black man goes around using words like "faggot" I find it incredibly ridiculous. I'm surprised he didn't come out and say they were being racist for firing him. Ugh.

Also, I love the new banner at My New Plaid Pants. Scream was my life for a while. I seriously watched it every day for a few months. ...don't look at me like that!

Enrique Iglesias is G-A-Y

No, not gay, just G-A-Y. He did a show recently at famous British club G.A.Y. and... well, take a gander below. I think I have newfound admiration for the man.



...it would've been better if he sang "The Ping Pong Song" (teehee, I'm totally thinking dirty thoughts) instead of the drippy "Hero", but nevertheless, isn't that crazy. God, what a cocktease. Seriously.

The Best Thing Will Ferrell Has Ever Done

It'll most likely be taken down by the time I turn my computer on tomorrow afternoon (as is the norm), but for now this is actually funny (unlike most things Will Ferrell has ever done). I just hope that Adam Sandler and Kevin James don't repeat it next year when they win - because they will, as Colin points out in this thread the last four winners of this category have been same sex kisses.

Linkabout

I'm not feeling inspired right now, so here's some links.

The New Yorker has a fabulous article by Jeffrey Eugenides about a longlasting summer movie-going experience. It's not Jaws or Star Wars. It's actually the Australian/British film by Nicolas Roeg, Walkabout that starred a young David Gulpilil. It's a fascinating read. I wish I was that articulate.

Friez.com discusses David Lynch's experimental opus INLAND EMPIRE as well as his future plans (he really likes Poland, apparently). The film has had it's June 21 release date vanquished and is, as far as I can tell, in limbo with Australian distribution. I hate the world. I think it's out on DVD in August in America so I may just have to import it. How incredibly depressing.

[It was here where I did a quick link to Dave Poland's Hostel Part II review, but then it spun out of control in my brain and turned into a blog entry all of it's own. Nice how that stuff happens from time to time.]

The other day The Film Experience linked to the trailer for Neil Jordan's new Jodie Foster-starring film The Brave One. I'm glad Jodie is out of the claustrophic-thriller sub-genre (although I still reckon Panic Room is pretty darn amazing). After a bit of searching I found that the (amazing) song used in in the second half of the the trailer is the (amazing) "Auto Rock" by the (sometimes amazing) Mogwai. I didn't mention him for some reason, but he worked on Clint Mansell's score to The Fountain. And we all know how that one turned out. I just have a feeling about this movie that I'm gonna really like it, even if it's not incredibly well-liked by others. I don't know why I have that hunch, but whatever. Jodie's looking feisty in the image below.


Who knew a Franz Ferdinand remix of an LCD Soundsystem track ("All My Friends") could be so good?!

So, I was having a discussion with The Brother last week about Saw and Hostel (a popular topic these days) and when I mentioned that they were making a Saw 4 he said that it'd be even more pointless than the other movies in the franchise **SPOILERbecause the two villains diedEND SPOILER** I joked that there'd be an evil twin or something. Well, that may or may not be the case. Blah yada etc. The vicious cycle of doom continues.

Does this picture (below) of Will Ferrell and Sasha Baron Cohen freakin' anyone else out? It was from the MTV Movie Awards held last week. It's so... :/ I dunno. Is it good or bad that a gay kiss (as in between two men) has won the Best Kiss category two years in a row? Although, I do have the urge to watch Brokeback Mountain again now. Hmmm....



And lastly, as the deathtoll continues to rise the Victorian train disaster, I send my thoughts out. What a terrible accident. Sad.

Glenn Sez: Cicada, Feist, Ultra Nate

Hi! Glenn here. Your (not-so) friendly Stale Popcorn blogger. I'm here to tell you my thoughts on some of the stuff happening in the music world right now. One of which is the new (well, sort of) CD by Cicada (yeah, I don't know why they're named after a noisy insect either). I'm here to warn you. Do not buy it. Don't go into the music store and contemplate it. Don't go onto iTunes and think "Oh, why not?" Don't even download it illegally. It's rubbish. It's also frightfully depressing for a so-called dance record. I had to turn it off by track five and then when I went back to it a day later I just couldn't continue after track seven. It's atrocious. I flicked through the rest of it and it doesn't get much better, but self-torturing my ears isn't fun y'all.

I got this dreadful waste of space free, thank god, so that you don't have to get it all! Follow my advice and you'll be better for it!

The new Feist CD is a tad twee, don't you think? A lil' bit cutesy-moopsy? I do like that "Sealion" song though. Mainly because it doesn't sound twee or cutest-moopsy at all, and that's a good thing! If twee cutesy-moopsy Canadians are your bag (honestly?) then I suppose you'll like it.

Lastly, that ridiculously amazing Ultra Nate remake of "Automatic" is the greatest thing in the history of Pointer Sister remakes, and the video clip is the gayest thing you're ever likely to see on YouTube. Seriously though, who hasn't thought about masturbating to euro-trance cover versions of Pointer Sisters songs? Can any one person say that has never crossed their mind? Remember: You're only lying to yourself if you deny it.



Thank you for your time. You've been great.

Cheers.

Glenn.

The Most Amazing Night In The History of Forever

God, Eurovision was so cool. I mean, it was the same ol' tacky glitter-and-fireworks show as always and there was tonnes of shite music, but it wouldn't be Eurovision without glitter and fireworks and tonnes of shite music.

The biggest victim of shiteness was probably Ireland, which entered possibly the worst song I've ever heard in the history of music. ...okay, maybe not that far, but god, talk about awful. It was called "You Can't Stop The Spring".,It really is as bad as the title suggests. You can view it here if you really want to subject yourself to that sort of torture.

The Bosnia and Herzegovina entry was also a frightful bore. So to was Lithuania's entry over here. Still, anything was better than Lithuania's 2006 entry "We Are The Winners".

But, there were some legitimately good ones out there. My definitely favourite was "The Worrying Kind" by Sweden's entrant The Ark. The Ark are actually a moderately-well known group on the indie/pop scene. If you own the Shortbus soundtrack then you'll certainly be familiar with them. The Ark are pretty great and "The Worrying Kind" was just so fun. It sounds sort of like Edison Lighthouse's "Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)" for a while there, but who cares? That song is delightful. As far as Eurovision goes it's more in the "Waterloo" actually-a-good-song camp than the "Flying The Flag (For You)" campy-camp-camp camp. I've thrown the clip of the performance at the end of the entry. Ola Salo (the lead guy) is such a character. He was a significant part of my #1 single of 2006 as well in the form of "Dream On" by Christian Falk with Robyn and Salo. Also, Swedish pop is pretty much the best music in the world right now.

After Sweden, my favourite was definitely "Visionary Dream" by Sopho, which you can view here. If this were a regular everyday song, and not a Eurovision song, it'd probably be quite popular on the dancefloors. Especially with an even more high octane remix.

There was, of course, the Ukranian drag queen Verka Serduchka (pictures below). She came second with her song "Dancing Lasha Tumbai" and it was really quite bonkers and hilarious. Zeiben! (or whatever). Take a look here. Your eyes may not forgive you but your feet will! I quite enjoyed Hungary's Magdi Rúzsa singing Unsubstantial Blues, which was some retro-tinged jazz torch song. It belongs in a Wim Wenders movie, really. Serebro from Russia were also sort of fun, too.


In between the good (THE ARK) and the bad (ugh, Ireland) there was the typical mediocre slash amazingly ridiculous stuff that Eurovision is known for. Countries like Turkey (belly dancing, big surprise!!!), Belarus ("sexy" man with unbuttoned shirt, bigger surprise!!!), Spain (omg, a boy band!), Germany (Justin Timberlake?), United Kingdom (Scooch = Steps in airline outfits, right?) and all the rest. I mean, they're fun to watch and to have a few laughs at so I'm not complaining. If the entire show was legitimately decent music then where would the fun be? As it stands, Eurovsion is about as good a reflection of music as the Grammies, perhaps moreso. That Spanish boy group was quite ridiculous though, weren't they?


I was a bit disappointed when Scooch (the UK entrant, above) finally scored points towards the end of voting. I was really hoping they'd get "nul points" like Jemini did 4 years ago. They were on nul points for so long and then, I think, Ireland gave them a score. Gross. Still, they came 23rd out of 24 (Ireland did worse with 5 points I believe), and I bet the English people wish they really had chosen Cyndi. Oh Terry Wogan, we know you were only trying your hardest to save the UK from inevitable embarassment. We still have Terry Wogan though. Terry Wogan = The Chief.


As for the winner of the night? It was the Serbian entry Marija Šerifović, which you can view here. The track, "A Prayer", was definitely in my top ten for the night, but unlike previous years (except last year, I hated Finland's entry that won) it wasn't in my top five. Still, good on Europe for picking a torch ballad by a lesbian who sort of looks like Hiro from Heroes (I know, right!?)

All in all, it was a fun night and the Finnish production was tops. Until 2008...

Watch The Ark!!

2:37 vs Elephant

A while back (in January) I discussed a film from 2006 called 2:37 by Mulari K Thalluri. In that review of sorts I mentioned how the film basically imitates Gus Van Sant's much better Elephant. It bugged me, but Elephant was such a good movie that if Thalluri was going to ape the style of something I guess I was glad it was that.

Just today I got an e-mail saying I had a reply to that entry, so I check it out and it was some (anonymous) person directing me to a YouTube video entitled "2:37 versus Elephant". You can check it out below. It really is starting how much Thalluri copied from Elephant (down to the piano scenes featuring an elephant themselves, gay kisses and scenes of guys entering the female bathrooms). I still could never call 2:37 a great film - it's similarities to Elephant are just too distracting - but it is a good one. it's well-intentioned and well-made and features a strong debut cast.

Watching the video below doesn't reveal the central "mystery" (I guess that's what it is) of 2:37 (who commits suicide at the end), in fact the only spoiler really is about who is the closet gay. I must say though after watching this clip I noticed down the side (where they have similar clips) that someone has, shockingly, posted the suicide scene from the end of the movie. All 9 minutes and 39 seconds. Quite frankly, that's disgusting. Why on earth would someone post that. It was definitely one of the more disturbing things I have seen in a cinema in the many times I've been. Scarily, it's been favourited by 11 people. If you're desperate to see what I'm talking about (not sure why you would be) then click here, but otherwise just watch the clip below.

Gay Music

So, is there any doubt that Mika is one of the most exciting new artists of 2007? "Grace Kelly" is indeed a stunner of a single (not many artists have a first single as brilliant as that). Time will tell whether Mika can turn into the Freddie Mercury of his generation, but it's about time that somebody brought the fun and the frivolity and the kooky catchy hooks back to the top 40. Too many wonderful British and European pop acts get lost in translation, but thankfully Mika is on his way to conquering the world. "Grace Kelly" has been a world wide smash (soon to be American too) so yay for that! Watch the video below. It, much like the song itself, makes me wanna get up and do a dance routine of cheerleader kicks and Star Wars lightsabre shwooshes. Make sense?



I knew "Grace Kelly" reminded me of another song, but couldn't place my finger on it. But then this song came on right after it and the lightglobe above my head burst. It's totally "Wig in a Box" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Mika and John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig) have similar vocal styles and the music is also very similar (camp rock with pianos with a big bombastic chorus). Enjoy "Wig in a Box". It's totally delicious.



Mika hasn't come out and said that he is gay, by the way, but there's enough evidence to support the thought that he is. He's currently saying he doesn't discuss that sort of stuff with the press and that's fine by me. At least he's not doing an Anthony Callea by constantly saying he's straight and then when it's appropriate (ie; somebody accidentally did it for him just as his album sales were lagging) do a complete 180 and say that he is gay. Most people already figured he was gay, but it's just frustrating when people such as him who could have clearly done so much (he was a contestant on Australian Idol) to confront homophobia only decides to "accept" his sexuality (what the fuck? He's had a boyfriend for two and a half years, so it's not like he's only just figured it out) when it suits.

Look, I'm glad Anthony has finally come out and all that jazz and I can understand his trepidation to do so when he was at the forefront of the Idol phenomenon, but that show was three years ago for him. He's released two albums and emassed a decent-sized fan following (hell, he has the highest selling single of all time!) But people have been asking him ever since Idol and his reply has always been a steadfast "No, I'm straight" and now that one of his idiot friends did it for him on the radio he's decided it's time to finally come out? It smells fishy to me.

So, yeah, I'm glad he's finally out, but just because he's gay and he's come out in the media and all doesn't mean he should be given a free pass like so many online bloggers do (like they do with Lance Bass, another fame hungry whore who only came out because he had nothing better to do and his boyfriend had a book to sell). No siree.

Dancing with the Bizarre

So, Dancing with the Stars is into it's sixth series here in Australia (we have plenty of D-grade celebrities), but this current one is the first I've ever watched. It's really quite an annoying show, but like other shows of a similar vein where you're pretty much asked to pick favourites and watch them throughout a series (Idol, Big Brother) I'm watching it for two people and two people only (well, two of the celebrities anyway). They would be the hilarious Fifi Box and the supurb Kate Ceberano.

One of the "celebrities" is David Graham. He was on the fifth (and most recent) series of Big Brother. He annoys the bloody hell outta me. I hated him on Big Brother and I hate him on Dancing with the Stars. David is gay, but he's one of those sort of gay men who, for some reason or other, feels the need to teach the straight people of the world about the life of gay people. He came out on Big Brother in, like, the third episode, and from then on at least once a week (but usually much more) he would go into a long-winded lecture about how hard gay people have it and all that crap. I just wanted to throw something at him. We (er, gay people) don't need some farmer from the bush crying on tv to get sympathy.

It was clearly all an act though because he was trying to come of as all sensitive and shit because that's what Australian voters always seem to vote to win. Yawn. He'd always play the diplomat ("I don't want to vote for anyone" yet then turn around and vote for the only person in the house who, at the time, wasn't hating his guts. ugh.) Read more about his wankfilled life here. He scored 4/40 tonight (that's one point from each judge! lol) so hopefully he'll disappear into the crater that swallows up all Big Brother contestants and we'll never have to see his ugly mug ever again. I was going to put a picture of him besides this but then I was all "wait, I don't wanna force his stupid face upon the readers" so I didn't.

I gotta say though, I have a huge big ol' crush on Fifi Box's partner, professional dancer Paul Green. I rarely use this word, but he's a major stud. Yummo. Unfort, there aren't any pictures of him except for the tiny tiny one on the website (which you can see to your left). I just wanna ravage him silly.

OMG Sonia Kruger just slammed Anthony Callea. God she has some good calls R-rated ("the lesbians like Fifi's box!"). Teehee. Silly Anthony Callea. You're gay now, but when people asked you for the last three years you were straight. Riiiight. Could it be that your album sales are down and you need some free publicity? I think so.

Fully Sick (no, really)

That title heading will be lost of a large number of readers, but 'tev. So, entries have been slow the last couple of days because I've been incredibly sick (I didn't even touch the computer yesterday, and that means it was bad), but I'm on the mend now so that's a good thing. In fact, compared to yesterday, I'm feeling positively spritely (if that's even a word). Anyway. I've updated my sidebar with new movie viewings and such.

One of the movies I watched recently (in the miscellaneous viewings) was Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story (thanks for Adam from Crumb by Crumb for the hookup). The banned 1987 Todd Haynes film about Carpenter's singer Karen Carpenter. I was telling my friend Georgie about it and then just casually dropped into the convo that the film (all 43 minutes of it) is "acted" entirely (well, mostly) out of Barbie dolls. As soon as I said it I turned around and walked off. When I returned a minute later she was still a bit confused. But it's great. Watch it. But, er, I guess we're not meant to discuss it and keep it all hush hush right? Cause it's banned. Right?

Xena! Rupaul! Mama!

Really. Do you need any more info? XENA THE WARRIOR PRINCESS IS RELEASING AN ALBUM! It's called Come to Mama and the lead single will be "Come to Me" featuring, amazingly, RUPAUL!!!. If you click here you can download samples of two tracks ("Come to Me" and "Let It Whip"). Be warned though, they're sort of the shittest things I've heard in a long time although "Come to Me"'s sample (it's only 1min 8sec) ends with a hilariously camp disco beat so it could be better than the Enya on prescription meds that the start sounds like. Check out the single cover and a poster for a concert she did. It boggles the mind. To quote a person at the Pop!Justice forum - "Could she have more hair?" I like to add a Chandlerism on that quote and make it "Could she have more hair?"




Below is a youtube clip of Xena herself on stage singing a song. It's hilarious. That woman who joins her on stage? GABRIELLE!!!!!! omg!!!what a pisser! Officially the funniest. Wow. God I hope they duet on her album.


Isn't this just the most bizarre thing? Like... huh? I'm so confused. It's hilarious though. Whod've thunk it, right?!

Lucy is also starring in an American remake of Footballer's Wives, which is possibly the worst idea for an American TV remake since Kath & Kim. I mean, freakin' FOOTBALLER'S WIVES!!!! If America was to do a carbon copy it'd be absurd like some Dynasty-esque melodrama, but the reason the UK version is so hilarious is because it's so real. Oh well.

I wish she'd dump the lame "Lucy Lawless" thing and go strictly by "Xena". I mean, I'd totally buy an album by someone called Xena. Wouldn't you?!

I still can't believe Gabrielle gogo danced on stage with Xena. PRICELESS!

"But that hair, I will never be able to forget it. It will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life!"

Return of the Fame-Sucking Publicity Whore!!!

I've mentioned multiple times on my displeasure with reading about those salivating fame hounds Lance Bass and Reichen whateverhisnameis. They're so transparently desparate for our adulation and peering eyes. And of course Lance came out (to a magazine, of course) just at the same time that Reichen had a book (an autobiography) being released soon after.

Well, now I've read the fabulous stunning news that Lance himself is to pen an autobiography, which amuses me to no end. Apparently he'll write about being a member of N' Sync (even though a quick glance at Wikipedia could tell you all about it) and how his case of keeping himself in the closet from fans was so radically different from all the other cases he read about. Yawn.

On one final note, as you can tell, I am not a fan of Lance, but as a gay man I feel sorry for the dude. Every time People publishes an article about him they use that same sad sorry photo of him (left) with bags under his eyes, pale blotchy skin, ratty facial hair, crooked smile and horrible shirt. That poor man. Everytime he googles himself (y'all know he does) and up pops an article from People he has to be spooked by that awful photo.

Chris 'Queer-baiting' Evans

Thanks to Towlerod for pointing out another reason to see Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer (what a horrible title, btw). And, yes, of course it has to do with the sexy that is Chris Evans. He's pretty famous now for being a queer-baiting hussey, aka - he likes to take his shirt off for the camera. A LOT. Sure, the ladies seem to like him, but he has a very large gay following. For reasons completely unknown. So, anyway, now all us gay guys who like to try and spot any possibility of homosexuality in famous attractive celebrity males can wrack our brains over the following Fantastic Four 2 television ad. *sigh*. I never thought I'd say this, but gosh, I wish I was Ioan Gruffard (or whatever his name is). Towlerod got screencaps too, plus the YouTubeness. God. He's so sexy. He kicks pretty much every male actor regularly titled "hot" to the curb. May he never ever wax.











And just because I can...

Chris in clothes...


And Chris out of clothes...

Marky Mark doesn't feel the good vibrations

As much of a hottie Mark Wahlberg is (sure, his foppy hair in The Departed wasn't, but did you see him at the Oscars? *giggles*), I'm sort of glad that he was creeped out about having to have sex with Joaquin Phoenix. Apparently he and Joaquin were up for roles in Ang Lee's masterpiece Brokeback Mountain, but both were creeped out by the tent scene. Although I find it hard to believe that the man who posed for the picture to the left doesn't believe in his masculinity enough, there is the fact that he would have been all wrong for the role, so in a way it's sort of good that he thinks of having to, oh I dunno, act as if he's in love with a guy, is sort of repulsive.

He still hasn't seen the final product of Brokeback Mountain. Maybe he should go watch Crash.

Let it be known that I still actually like "Crash", I just like paying it out for beating a much superior movie to Best Picture. I still don't understand that.

The Golden Globes: The Fashion

You knew it was comin'! And so now in no particular order, here are some of the fashions of last night. For some reason IMDb's photographers (and all the TV interviewers for that matter) seem to think we wanna see a closeup of people's faces with maybe the top of her dress. Like... huh? I wanna see the whole gettup, you idiots.

Click the images to see larger versions.
(I also just realised that the three images didn't stay on the same line like it did in the preview (that preview is so bullshit) but I ain't editing this. So learn to deal.)


I don't care what anyone says, Milo Ventimiglia is a hottie and in this fitted tux he is a major dreamboat. Like... wow. Ali Larter on the other hand? I'm confused as to why she's around still (Heroes I know, but still) and why she looks half the size she used to.

I think Jada Pinkett Smith is one of the best dressed from the night if you ask me. That colour is just stunning on her. Mary J Blige does not get such good remarks from me. Sorry, hon. But, Jada? I loves ya hon (you'll always have my heart because of Scream 2.

Confession - no, I don't like the dress, but I do like Cameron Diaz's the black hair. I think it's nice to have a bit of change from Cameron who has basically looked the exact same for the last 10 years. But, yes, the dress? Atrocious. Maybe without that silly shoulder frill and the entire bottom half replaced, there may have been a chance, but alas...


While Rosanna Arquette seems fine by slowly becoming her transexual brother Alexis, Patricia seems to, as of late, decided to make leather (or is it pleather?) a fixture of her wardrobe? Not nice at all

Secret confession time again again - I've always had a bit of a crush for Ben Affleck. Well, before his bloated-from-the-block phase. Thankfully these days he's at least clean shaven, well dressed and private and that boosts him up in my books. Jennifer Garner looks sparkly. They look happy and relaxed and like they want to be there.

Aaron Eckhart is a sexy beast. That is all.


Kate Winslet = Yummy Mummy. She's ravishing as always in this white number. I usually find strapless dresses looking awkward, but here she just looks great. Why isn't she seen as a sex symbol by more people?

Jessica Beil looked better during the telecast than in pictures where the sparkles don't come through. Still, she's a babe and I prefer her to the other Jessica Alba.

Alexandre Desplat teehee. I just put him here cause he's a genius.


There was a disturbing trend this year. Actresses wearing great dresses with horrible bottom halves. Case in point these three lovely ladies. Emily Blunt looked stunning throughout the telecast until I finally saw the lower half and... eep. Way too tight and skinny and not nice at all.

Kyra Sedgewick is a champ. So good on The Closer and a fab top half, with a bad lower half. She did this at the Emmy's too!

Felicity Huffman joined the ranks of Meryl and Helen as women who know how to dress her age. But, again, when I saw the lower half it elicited a gasp of horror. Frightening. The top half was ace though, except for her terrible eye makeup. What's going on there?


Speaking of Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep. I wanna give them an joint best dressed honour for the night purely because they know how to dress. Period. Which is more than I can say for some at the Globes. Way to go, gals!


Beyonce looked terrible. Sorry lass, this dress was a disaster. As was your hair. As was your makeup. The whole thing. What were you thinking?

Brangelina were also horrible (well, Angelina) but for opposite reasons. BORING. GO HOME!!! You don't wanna be there and I'd rather watch Rinko Kikuchi in her wacky pom-pom dress than these two. I mean, who wears grey?

And then there's Isla Fisher who's cute as a button. Plus, Sasha Baron Cohen (below) is cute as a button also, so this couple is cute... as a button.


Naomi Watts can't dress herself at all sometimes, I swear. Boring.

Julia Louis Dreyfus knocked it outta the park at the Emmys with her dress, but here? This looks heavy and ugly. Poorly fitted, unflattering and creased. What happened, Julia?


Drew Barrymore is right up there with the best dressed. Courteney Cox Arquette didn't look bad either. But I love this picture because it's Drew and Courteney! It's like a ruinion of Scream, just not because they didn't share any scenes, but whatever. They're my two faves from that movie. It's special.

Ellen Pompeo is Renee Zellweger v2.0. This dress is weird and flappy and it has wings? I'm not sure, but it's not pretty.

Eddie Murphy was one of the best dressed men of the night I though. Snappy black suit and shirt and tie, but all different so that he doesn't merely look like some emo loser.


Jennifer Hudson I go back and forth on. On one hand it's not that flattering for her body, but on the other hand the colour goes really well for her. Oh well.

I swear, whenever Leonardo DiCaprio puts himself into a suit and fixes his hair, I find him attractive. There was a time during the 2004 awards season (and he was up for The Aviator) that I thought for the first time "Hey, he's actually good looking!" and that comes back whenever he has a movie to spruke at awards time.

Whenever there's nothing interesting to say about Cate Blanchett you know she's having an off night.


So, I know Reese Witherspoon is single now and all but why did she have to become to skinny? The dress looks much nicer in image form than at the ceremony itself, but I can't say I like it. Great colour though. Boring hair.

Nicolette Sheridan? Oh, dear. Probably the worst dressed of the night right alongside Cameron, Angelina and Beyonce. I don't know what it happening here, but it's terrible. Terrible Terrible Terrible.

Awww, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard look so adorable together. Strange, considering it's Peter Sarsgaard.


Poor Sienna Miller. She's hated by Pittsburgh, Factory Girl never took off, and now she's wearing this ugly clunky dress.

Renee Zellweger... nuff said.

Penelope Cruz on the other hand, improves as the years go by. It helps that she now has a truly masterful performance under her belt (Volver) and now she's looking stunning at awards shows. You go Penelope!


So, Annette Bening at least didn't have to lose to Helen Mirren in two categories in the same night, but then again, she is stuck with having worn this white sack. Where is the diva?! Warren Beatty looks snappy as always though.

One of my very favourites from the night is Sara Ramirez from Grey's Anataomy and Broadway. She looked really great. I love that hair! There's a better picture below along with the rest of the Grey's cast. Not good for Pompeo and Sandra Oh, not sure on Chandra Wilson, er, the chick who plays Adison and fairly positive on Katherine Heigl. Heigl sure is making the most of her newfound fame (which she shoulda had years ago). edit - I found a better picture of Sara Ramirez. She's smokin')

Vanessa Williams. You dumb naffwit. You need to lose that ridiculous weave and jacket. You're an idiot.



Worst Grooming of the night goes to Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Grotesque I'm sure it's for a movie (although I wouldn't be so sure with him), but god that thing attached to his face was revolting and vile. Jason Lee gets the runner up spot there. You're going to the awards as Jason Lee, not Earl, so how bout running a comb through your hair and even your moustache.

That's all. I know there's tonnes more, but I can't find pictures of them. Or there are pictures but it's of their face and not dress (as a lot of these ones were, I know - but I can't be bothered doing anymore).

So, Best Dressed? Sara Ramirez, Penelope Cruz, Milo Ventimiglia, Jada Pinkett Smith, Drew Barrymore, Helen Mirren+Meryl Streep Combo, Eddie Murphy, Kate Winslet.

Worst Dressed: Nicolette Sheriden, Beyonce Knowles, Angelina Jolie, Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Perkins

Worst Face: Renee Zellweger

Worst Make-Up: Felicity Huffman, Brangelina

Worst People: Brad Pitt and Angelina

SHUT THE FUCK UP: Hilary Swank.

Can you believe she is still trotting out the "I came from a trailer park!" routine even when she's not up for awards. Now she's using it as talk show banter!! Ugh.