Touchdown!!

Okay, it's sort of sad that us Australian Idol watchers ever got sucked into judge Mark Holdon's ridiculous "TOUCHDOWN!" flimajimjamwoozoowazzleboobedeeboop that he started in season one of the show, but it has gotten to the stage where every touchdown is met with, mostly, curious bewilderment. I mean, two touchdowns for Jennifer Connolly in three episodes? And one for the Pirate (my guess is eventually he'll wear an eye patch and the illusion will be complete) for what amountd to nothing more than "I Was Made For Loving You" slowed down to within an inch of it's life.

BUT last night - the same night that Jennifer Connolly got possibly the worst and least deserving touchdown in the show's history for a vague performance of "Bittersweet Symphony" - there was a performance that tore the house (er, the studio) down and that thankfully received one of Holdon's touchdowns. As Scott over at Scott To Be Certain makes us aware (if you even casually watch Idol read that blog, it's freakin' hilarious honey dahling girlfriend) it was the only touchdown this year that could compare with the best (Cosima's "When the War is Over", Anthony's "The Prayer") and is one of the most blatantly emotional performances since Guy Sebastian's "Climb Every Mountain" or Casey Donovan's "Here's Where I Stand".

We all know Tarisai Vushe Williams Shaggy Dog Jackson Effie Hudson Honey Dahling Sister Girlfriend is basically channeling God whenever she performs at the worst of times (so much so that when she goes to speak normally she seems positively exhausted) but last night she was, quite frankly, eating the soul of Jesus on stage. If that's offensive or blasphemous to you then just watch the performance below.



To quote Mark Holdon (that's a rare thing, indeed), who last night outdid himself by wearing a diagonal zip-down martian funeral outfit: Yowza! Yowza! Yowza!

Also, Question of the Week: How many anal sex, blowjob, semen and penis jokes can the hosts James and Andrew get into their banter when it relates to ProActive Ben Mackenzie? Because, honey sister dahling girlfriend preacher baby love sweetiepie, the kid is 17 and it's icky and incredibly uncomfortable. Give it a rest and start picking on Jennifer Connolly and her beehive of a hairdo.

And He's Outta There!

Justice has been served. Jacob Butler is no longer forcing his grotesque and ridiculously over-the-top singing and dancing style upon our horrified eyes and ears. I'm sure he's gonna go home and whinge about how nobody likes him and how people are big giant meanieheads blah blah blah. Now, if only his murdering of several quite good songs wasn't etched into my memory. Yikes.

Public Enemy #1

Please get this man off of our television!


His name is Jacob Butler and he is a contestant (read: he's there for the prizes, not the music) on the fifth and current season of Australian Idol. This man has previously disgraced our screens on the disaster that was Australia's version of X Factor. He's a serial talent show pest, having made the top 100 of Idol in 2005, the same year as his X Factor experience. He's obviously been trying to become a professional singer for quite some time (so much so that he aged five years in the two years since X Factor, hmmm). He's also worked overseas but, as his profile tells us, that fell flat on it's face.

So, obviously, his career has gone nowhere and so he just continues to enter these competitions hoping that his chubby cheeks will make him instantly famous. He's an attention seeking fame-hungry whore. His performances on Idol are so overdone that they actually split apart and form a parallel universe where they become good, but then they implode and form a blackhole that sucks inside everything that is good and right with the world because that's how much of a talent vacuum he is. He does these ridiculous faux-hardcore dancemoves (mid air scissor kicks! falling over on stage!) while wearing stupid outfits (a button-up wool jacket with a shirt and tie on rock night?) Dicko was entirely right when he said he'd be laughed off stage in the real world. I can't stand to watch him whenever he's on screen. He repulses me.

Also, his hair is gross.


He seems to at least have accepted that his mere modicum of talent won't make him famous and instead needs a television reality program to do it. He relishes the sound of applause, yet when a judge actually critises him he looks like he'll chuck a tanty - hi Courtney from season two! I hated you as well! So my wish is that people will realise all Jacob is is filling his desire for fame and fortune and doesn't deserve to be on there anymore.

Besides, you just know that if he does win Australian Idol he'll be forgotten about within a week because he's so unspectacular and hasn't got anything distinguishable about him whatsoever.


I didn't make this, my friend Jo did, but it's funny non?

Australink Idol

Let it be forever known, Sunday the 17th of August was the worst night on Australian Idol ever. So very true. Scott to be Certain has the low down. The low, low, low, very low pathetically low down. Ugh. Tarisai to the rescue!

Awards Daily has the poster for Francis Ford Coppola's "comeback" Youth Without Youth, which you can view to the left there. The best thing about it is the title design. But, what's with all the roses lately?

Somebody tell Sarah Michelle Gellar to fire her agent, stat!

Apparently the Emmys were on yesterday? These are such a non-event these days in Australia (the programs rate even worse here than in America, The Sopranos and The Office are on at Midnight!) that the telecast is being edited to an hour and a half and being screened at some ridiculous time like 10.30pm after Californication. As long as they never do that for the Academy Awards and the Golden Globes then I won't give a hoot.

"He sells reproductions! His furniture's as fake as my orgasms!"

Somebody's decided to make a list of the Top 100 Actors who are still breathing and demanding bowls of green m&ms for their dressing room. It's to be updated yearly and whenever someone carks it and die they get booted off! How lovely. It's like Australian Idol or something. For the record #100 is Susan Sarandon. Whoever it is that has done this list has done the annoying thing of ranking upwards! Ugh. How silly. Still, it's sort of fascinating if not also an entire load of wank.

Lastly, the William Wyler blog-a-thon is on this coming weekend over at GoatDogBlog. I haven't seen enough Wyler movies if you ask me, but I do love love love the ones that I have.

Let's All Congratulate Sarah Polley!

Somehow in between her acting commitments, writing and directing Oscar-buzzed Away From Her and avoiding the dentist, awesome Canadian Sarah Polley found time to audition for Australian Idol. She made it into the top 100, and then the top 24 and just five minutes ago she was voted into the top 12! Way to go Sarah. You deserved it!


Also, can Husny and Mark get through in the wildcard round please? Husny because, well, he's Husny and Mark because he will be the only hot contestant. We need one, right?


How was Mark Holdon (of all people) the one person who wanted Husny in the wildcard round at all though? I mean, huh?! Marcia wouldn't even look in his direction when his name was announced. Is Husny another Chanel? I sort of hope so because a) Chanel was awesome and b) was the only contestant to really rub Marcia the wrong way (fuck you Marcia honey girlfriend dahling).

Can we all lead a collective yawn over serial greasy scarf wearer Daniel Mifsud and Dullard McDullard-Buble Carl Riseley? BOOORING! Although Mifsud does get points for listing his favourite album as The Simpsons Sing The Blues. I HAVE THAT CD!


Lastly, let's all mourn the loss of Cheray Doughty from the competition. She didn't even get into the wildcard round! How, when there are six males and two females in the wildcard round, is she not one of them? Crazy. She was super cute and a great singer, too.


Frowny face, indeed.

Glenn Sez: Delta Goodrem, The Veronicas, Australian Idol, Silverchair

Hi folks, Glenn here. I thought I'd get back to doing group music posts like this instead of multiple entries about how awesome the new Sugababes/Girls Aloud/Robyn songs are (even though they totally deserve their own entries, but whatev).

First up on the agenda is Delta Goodrem. Delta and I have a troubled history. Could I hate "Born to Try" any more? Perhaps, but I do really dislike that song. I'm not that big a fan of stuff like "Almost Here" and such, but then she also has some amazing songs like "Mistaken Identity", "Out of the Blue", "Will You Fall For Me" and such. So it was with bated optimism that I listened to her new song "In This Life" on her MySpace profile and it's quite good. The chorus is particularly stunning. If this is an indication of her new album (which apparently has a fresher sound? You see she's not suffering from cancer anymore so she can be light and fun but definitely not when she had cancer. No way. cause "Out Of The Blue" was all doom and gloom?) Here's hoping the album is alright. Still, how will she ever beat "Mistaken Identity"?

Moving on to The Veronicas (we have a very Australian theme tonight, don't we gals and gents?) who had dumped the guitars from there quite great debut album The Secret Life Of... and have jumped onto the '80s synth bandwagon with their new track "Hook Me Up" (available on iTunes folks). It's really quite great. We know that Adem at I'm Always Right (a fellow Geelongian btw) loves it. It's no "4ever" or even "Revolution", but it's better than quite a few of the previous album's non-singles. I whole-heartedly nod my head in appreciation. Shame about the terrible single sleeve though.

Moving on to Australian Idol, which I have begrudgingly been watching this year because there is nothing else on television. There's seriously maybe two other shows I need to watch every week. So far this year's season has been sorta lame with a whole lot of acoustic guitar playing by solumb sensitive guys who wear scarves and skinny-leg jeans and a lot of acoustic guitar playing by solumb girls with straight hair and who wear cute white/off-white tops and sing in whispered tones and sound a little like Jewel. Standout Husni - who was like some weird extra terrestrial combination of Prince, George Michael, Madonna and Diana Ross (he's not camp at all) wasn't voted into the final 12, but that Corby kid has and he'll be there until the end because the teeny girls wanna lose their virginity to him (or they wanna pretend they still have their virginity so they can lose it to him) and Jacob fuckin' Butler who was a part of that other TV singing contest/biggest tv debacle ever X Factor. Yawn. Of the girls that featured last night I loved Tarasai and Cheray.

I won't be discussing Idol much (thankfully) because the best man for the job is already doing so. I speak of anagram-loving Scott at Scott to be Certain. He already has detailed/hilarious commentary on all the episodes as well as a top 20 Idol performances countdown and much more. He's amazing. Unlike Daniel Husnif.

Lastly, have we found the best music video of 2007? Perhaps we have in the form of "If You Keep Losing Sleep" by Silverchair (watch it below on MySpace video, I hope the code works!) It's like the opening scenes of Moulin Rouge! mixed with Rocky Horror Picture Show, some of Tod Browning's Freaks and Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love". Sound great? It is. Plus, the song is pretty cool too!

If You Keep Losing Sleep

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umm...

A guy on Australian Idol is currently singing "Dear Mr President" and I nearly spit my drink all over my computer. He just said it wasn't as political and that it can be directed at multiple people, not just the President of the United States. :/

Hilarious.

Can't Touch This Idol

Yay! Ricki-Lee Coulter is back! Here's the skinny - I love me some Ricki-Lee. It's true. She was definitely my favourite Australian Idol contestant ever (and probably the best, period) and her shock eviction still makes me wonder about the voting public (as does pretty much every decision they make). Coulter was in the second series of the show. In 2005 she released her debut album entitled Ricki-Lee, which was one of the most underrated releases of the year. It featured a stretch of singles including "Hell No!", "Sunshine" and "Breath" that were all quite popular, but the album failed to ignite.

She then joined the group "Young Divas" that was made up of other Idol contestants Paulini (series one), Emily (series three) and Kate (series three winner) who each sung together on a bunch of disco covers. At least it gave her a hit! She promptly quit the group - thank god - to concentrate on her solo career.

She's back now with a new single called "Can't Touch It" from her upcoming album Brand New Day. It's a great little funky pop song and the video clip below is fun. I like the inclusion of fellow Idol castoff and current Neighbours star Dan... Murphy? I can't remember what his name is. But I'm sure that's him behind the bar.

Fun fact - I am only three days younger than Ricki-Lee! She was born on October 10 1985, whereas I was born October 13. Crazy. Enjoy the "Can't Touch It" clip below.

Glenn Sez: Kylie, Idol Singers, La Vie En Rose

Hi y'all! Glenn here. I got some shit to say so sit down and listen... or, casually glance over it?

Kylieomg! Everyone who has their toes wading in the pool of pop knows that the worst-kept secret for many many years is that Kylie Minogue is greedy. And I don't mean that in the dirty money grubbing way, no. I mean that Kylie is sort of notorious for recording way too many tracks for albums. Way too many that she (and us, natch) could ever hope to put onto an album plus singles and b-sides. Word is that Minogue, for her comeback album with the working title of Kylie X (which I hope they keep. It's fabulously retro and futuristic), has recorded something like 70 tracks... and rejected them all. Of course, some of the tracks are (suspiciously, if you believe the rumours) leaking out of Kylie HQ and onto the net. I can confirm that "In My Arms" is pop brilliance and if this is what she's recording, listening to and going "Hmmm, no" about then Kylie X is going to be THE GREATEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME!!! I keed you not, if "In My Arms" were the first track to be released people would be shoutin', hootin' and hollerin' claiming it as nothing but amazing. "Stars" is also quite addictively amazing with a slightly more guitar-lead chorus. "Fall For You" and "Lose Control" are quite good too and would make perfectly adaquate album tracks.

Alas, they will not be on the album. They may not even be b-sides (and her b-sides can be quite good sometimes, hello "Made of Glass"). Man, I don't think rejected material has ever made me so jazzed about an upcoming project. Of course, the sneaky leaking of this material means nobody else can record it and release it (or, most likely not) and so those song writers who wrote them aren't gonna make a pittance. Oh well. If you can search these tracks out on the net (the place where music matters is always a good place to start I guess) then do so. They're better than Madonna's "Hey You"!

Likeomgdeangeyeromg!!!! Did you, like, totally watch Australian Idol Last year? Because, like, omigod, right? Dean Geyer is sooooo hot omigod. Like, I totally had to listen to his album, Rush for work and, oh. my. god. Guess what! Guess what! GUESS WHAT!! You'll never guess! Omigod.

...it's not that good. BUT, and this is entirely worthy of going into fits of "omigod!"s. He has a song called "She Comes in Waves", with the following chorus:

She comes in waves/
And then slips away/
And I wish she'd stay/
But you can't always get what you want/
And she comes in waves/
Here she comes.

...omigod, right?!

I must say though, I have mentioned many times before about my dislike for celebrity men to be all waxed and preened (or, obviously so I should say) so I commend Geyer for embracing his chest hair inside the album sleeve (open shirt, gents/ladies. but if you want the rest you can lookie over here or modfab did a collage last year). I didn't expect that from him. I know it's strange that I'm even discussing this, but his album is so incredible same-same throughout it's 12 tracks that pretty boy ogling was something to pass the time. Still, though, could the album cover be more bland?

Speaking of Australian Idol contestants, it came to my attention (and to my ears attention, unfortunately) that first season contestant and failed chart act Cosima DeVito is releasing a new single. It's titled "Keep It Natural" and it's quite ridiculous. When I saw the CD sitting on the desk at work me and The Boss joked about her not getting the message the first time around, naturally though, I had to take it so I could pay her out and get paid for it whereas here I just get the smug satisfaction of criticising it purely for the fun of it.

Oh! But it was totally worth is, actually, because now I've gotten the chance to here Cosima's desperate (and way too late) try at becoming some sort of gay icon. The dance remixes are utterly shite. So if they play this in the clubs and you see people dancing to it you know they have shite taste in music and you need to find someone else to pash.

Edith Piaf! Is she going to have the biopic-fueled chart resurgance that greeted the likes of Ray Charles and Johnny Cash in recent years? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But I must say I'm not exactly a fan of french music (outside of film scores I guess) but I figured I should take the La Vie En Rose soundtrack and educate myself before the film's release (which is?)

Things I can assume after listening to the soundtrack:

1. Marion Cotillard mimes the songs in the film because all the tracks are credited to Piaf. It's more Ray than Walk the Line on that account.

2. There is up to 11 songs in the movie. Out of the 27 tracks on the soundtrack, 11 are Piaf songs, 9 are score tracks (which are nice, but a bit samish) and 7 "additional" tracks, for some reason. Are these original songs? The album sleeve states they're just 2007 tracks (whereas the others said "1950/2007"), but there is singing on them? So... original songs?

3. Marion Cotillard is probably going to be able to pull a lot of cutesy faces.

4. Marion Cotillard is probably going to be the "exotic" choice in this Oscar season if early word is correct. Is Julie Christie going to be the Helen Mirren? Oh, it's too early for that...

...my in depth analysis is totally scientific doncha know.

Gay Music

So, is there any doubt that Mika is one of the most exciting new artists of 2007? "Grace Kelly" is indeed a stunner of a single (not many artists have a first single as brilliant as that). Time will tell whether Mika can turn into the Freddie Mercury of his generation, but it's about time that somebody brought the fun and the frivolity and the kooky catchy hooks back to the top 40. Too many wonderful British and European pop acts get lost in translation, but thankfully Mika is on his way to conquering the world. "Grace Kelly" has been a world wide smash (soon to be American too) so yay for that! Watch the video below. It, much like the song itself, makes me wanna get up and do a dance routine of cheerleader kicks and Star Wars lightsabre shwooshes. Make sense?



I knew "Grace Kelly" reminded me of another song, but couldn't place my finger on it. But then this song came on right after it and the lightglobe above my head burst. It's totally "Wig in a Box" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Mika and John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig) have similar vocal styles and the music is also very similar (camp rock with pianos with a big bombastic chorus). Enjoy "Wig in a Box". It's totally delicious.



Mika hasn't come out and said that he is gay, by the way, but there's enough evidence to support the thought that he is. He's currently saying he doesn't discuss that sort of stuff with the press and that's fine by me. At least he's not doing an Anthony Callea by constantly saying he's straight and then when it's appropriate (ie; somebody accidentally did it for him just as his album sales were lagging) do a complete 180 and say that he is gay. Most people already figured he was gay, but it's just frustrating when people such as him who could have clearly done so much (he was a contestant on Australian Idol) to confront homophobia only decides to "accept" his sexuality (what the fuck? He's had a boyfriend for two and a half years, so it's not like he's only just figured it out) when it suits.

Look, I'm glad Anthony has finally come out and all that jazz and I can understand his trepidation to do so when he was at the forefront of the Idol phenomenon, but that show was three years ago for him. He's released two albums and emassed a decent-sized fan following (hell, he has the highest selling single of all time!) But people have been asking him ever since Idol and his reply has always been a steadfast "No, I'm straight" and now that one of his idiot friends did it for him on the radio he's decided it's time to finally come out? It smells fishy to me.

So, yeah, I'm glad he's finally out, but just because he's gay and he's come out in the media and all doesn't mean he should be given a free pass like so many online bloggers do (like they do with Lance Bass, another fame hungry whore who only came out because he had nothing better to do and his boyfriend had a book to sell). No siree.