Guy Pearce Looks Healthy Again!

This is a clipping I took from the Sunday Herald Sun. It's an exlusive shot of the exciting new Aussie film How to Change in Nine Weeks. It stars Guy Pearce and Miranda Otto as the parents of a slain dancer and it's based on a real story from here in Melbourne. It also stars Sam Neill and Rebecca Gibney (love that cast!) Of course, if you look at the text I basically didn't need to type any of that because it's all there, but whatever. If you click the picture it'll grow to massive proportions (not really, but it will be slightly bigger).

It's nice to see Guy looking healthy again after a while in scary weight-loss territory. He actually looks handsome again! Along with this and the Rose Byrne/Hugo Weaving/Pia Miranda noir period film The Tender Hook and, obviously, Baz Luhmann's epic Australia there appears to be a resurgance in Aussie films with grander themes and bigger casts (the three mentioned in this entry alone all feature actors who have "made it" in America and beyond). And I think all Australians can agree that this is something that needs to happen if we are to built a sustainable industry.

3.5 Hours of AMAZING!!

If you are lucky enough to live in the wonderful country of Australia and you have access to Network Ten on Sunday afternoon (tomorrow!) then I suggest you get into prime sitting position on your couch or in your bed under the covers, put the electric blanket on or get a hot water bottle or something (it's cold these hardy days of Winter), make yourself some microwave popcorn and settle in for three and a half hours of AMAZING.

Starting at 1.30pm we have Xanadu - that famous rollerskating musical that starred Olivia Newton John and a scary looking Gene Kelly and whole lotta greek muses. Once that's over and done with at 3.10pm we get Mariah Carey's big screen opus Glitter, making it's television premiere! That finishes an hour and 50 minutes later at 5pm to conclude the three and a half hours of AMAZING!

Seriously. You have neon-infused Greek muses, painted record covers, rollerskates and a competition between and old band and a new band - and that's just Xanadu. Then in Glitter you get Mariah carey having issues with her pet cat, mysterious ever-changing makeup and the greatest scene of all time when Mariah's character writes the lyrics to a song and on the other side of town her ex boyfriend writes the music at the same time. It's amazing!!!

Two Thumbs Down

In my casual trevails throughout the never world of the internet I came cross an amazing website LynchPosters.com which is all about movie posters for David Lynch films. I had already seen about 90% of them, but one that I had never seen was the below ad poster that was used for Lynch's 1997 bizarro film Lost Highway in which Jeff Daniels apparently murders Patricia Aquette and then he turns into Balthazar Getty (back on the acting scene thanks to a role on the quite great tv series Brothers and Sisters) who is dating Patricia Arquette... or something. The film also has Robert Blake giving the greatest cameo performance of all time. If you haven't seen it, do so. If you're in America then you'll have to deal with a dodgy-arsed DVD, but regions 4 and 2 have great two-disc editions (like me!).

Anyway, back to the poster. Roger Ebert has been a famous detractor of Lynch's work - Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart and Lost Highway in particular - and he, along with his reviewing partner Gene Siskel, gave the film "Two Thumbs Down!"

Lynch being the sneaky devil that he is used it to his advantage and employed this rating as part of the advertising for Lost Highway. God, he's a genius.



And while we're on the topic of Lynch, while I am sitting here being incredible jealous at Adam (grrrr) I found this in Today's HiT about the situation of his latest INLAND EMPIRE. Unfortunately, it merely confirms the constant state of limbo that it lies in. Seriously, Dendy or whoever it distributing. RELEASE IT NOW!


I tell ya though, if I see the film is going to be playing at the Melbourne International Film Festival I'm gonna do my darndest to get tickets. Eep.

Two Three Pictures

Because I hadn't seen these two pictures of my two eternal love stars (Hugh Jackman and Jamie Bell if you don't know anything about me) and because the Internet is such a glorious thing that I get to post these even if nobody else gives two hoots (although I'm sure some of y'all do).



*sigh*
They do grow.

Edit: So, I found this picture of Hugh in the Sunday Herald Sun today and I scanned it in. It's not the best quality. It was a very large picture and I had to do two scans. One of the top half and one of the bottom because the entire thing wouldn't fit in the scanner! The picture is of Hugh wearing a slightly garish silver suit. He still looks majorly sexy in it though.

Little Miss awkward/beautiful

OMG! Notice how I got two film and one music references in the subject line? Man, I'm awesome. Sure, one of them doesn't have to do with Toni Collette, but 'tev.

Anyway. I was reading the Sunday Herald Sun tonight when I got home from work and there was a nice article about Toni Collette in it and thought I'd share it with you guys. But not only that, I also have the chance for you to listen to some free music! Yes, the publication is giving away ten copies of Collette's album Beautiful Awkward Pictures (with her band The Finish) and you can listen to a track from the album for free. The contest is open for Australians only (closes Thursday 22) but I don't see why others can't listen to the track. The contest and song download are available here. Treat yourself.

The article, "Away from the sunshine", can be found over here. She's gonna be preggers soon, so get all the Collette lovin' you can handle over the next couple of years before she succumbs to a dreaded (at least to us actressuals) case of motherhood.

There's at least one leading man she'd jump at the chance to perform alongside -- Johnny Depp.

"I really do think Depp is quite something. I'd love to work with him. I think Kate Winslet is brilliant in my own kind of age bracket," she says.

But Nicole Kidman and Cate Blanchett aren't really on her radar.

"If we're in the same room, we have a conversation. But we're not life-long mates or anything," she says.

Muriel's Wedding co-star Rachel Griffiths is.

"Muriel affected our lives so profoundly, I don't think we're going to ever not be friends," she says.

I sort of wanna be in a room with Toni and Rachel just so I can fawn over them and continuously tell them how awesome they are. I don't know who I love more. Toni or Rachel? Such hard desicions...

There's more Toni Collette loving in the recent past of Stale Popcorn by clicking here, including the video for "Beautiful Awkward Pictures", which I've decided to included in this entry too, below. Just for shits and giggles, ya know?

Oh, and btw, the song ("Look Up") is really great. Like, a lot. Majorly. I'ma have to buy that album (if I don't win a copy, of course). I just wanna keep listening to that song over and over. I'm gonna go buy it off of iTunes. Now.

Tom Cruise = Christ. NO BULLSHIT!

Click the picture to your left to read one of the funniest things of this short year so far. It's a pisser. I read it in today's Herald Sun. Not only is Tom Cruise a scientology Christ figure, but judging from that photo he's in pre-production on a sequel to Coneheads. That's nice of him. Dan Ackroyd needs a hit these days.

2006 Aussie box-office

I was really paying attention to the Herald Sun yesterday! Along with discussing filthy liars, I saw these two articles which I thought I'd share (plus, it means I don't have to write one of these myself, so that's a bonus!)

A good year on screen
Australian films made $40 million at the local box office last year - 4.6 per cent of all takings. The figure, released by the Australian Film Commission, is up on 2005's (local films then accounted for 2.8 per cent of total box office, with $23.1 million in takings.)

But it is still far below the record, set in 2000 when local movies made $54.2 million, 7.9 per cent of ticketing receipts, thanks to the likes of The Wog Boy, Looking for Alibrandi and Chopper.

The films that made up the 2006 list of top earners were a diverse bunch. The animated Happy Feet - in release for just six days last year - led the charge with $11.1 million from ticket sales. It is still at the top of the chart with takings of $22 million and likely to top the 2007 Australian earnings chart too.

The beloved Kenny was second ($7.6 million), followed by the drama Jindabyne ($5.3 million) and Arnhem Land fable Ten Canoes ($3.3 million). War drama Kokoda and the comedy Boytown shared fifth spot ($3.1 million each).

Ten Canoes producer Julie Ryan said she was delighted that the film, made in close collaboration with Arnhem Land's Ramingining community, appealed well beyond an Aboriginal audience.

"It was always the intent of the Ramingining community for Ten Canoes to be widely seen so they could share their culture with an indiginous and non-indiginous audience," she said.

Happy Feet, written and directed by Australian George Miller, with animation by Sydney company Animal Logic, is on track to become the most internationally successful Australian movie ever, with takings of $410 million so far.

The public affairs director of Animal Logic, Greg Smith, said the film put Australia's animation and effects talent on the map. "Projects like Happy Feet are essential for giving Australian talent the exposure and experience to be world class," he said.

Australian films most likely to do well this year include December Boys, starring Harry Potter's Daniel Radcliffe; Hey, Hey, It's Esther Blueburger, starring Toni Collette; Romulus, My Father, starring Eric Bana; and Wolf Creek director Greg McLean's mad croc follow-up Rogue, starring US heart-throb Michael Vartan.
Claire Sutherland

I also saw the below bite-sized article in the paper and it amused me to no end. "Last minute promotional commitments in the UK" standing for "I couldn't even sell out a free show, let alone one where people have to pay, so I'm not coming." Serves Sandi Thom right. That "I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker" song is retched.


GOLD!

Filthy Scummy Liars!

Being an awards watcher like a lot of you, it is my duty to call "Bullshit!" on something. The image to the left is an ad for Blood Diamond that I cut out of the Herald Sun today. The first time I just glanced over the page I thought it was an ad for The Departed, what with the Leo-ness and the "BEST MOVIE OF 2006" quote to the side (from such an illustrious critic as Nelson Aspen - LOL!). My eyes quickly moved on to an ad for Happy Feet that was situated below (David Stratton's five star review still makes me happy). But then I noticed the title of the Leo ad above and that it was for Blood Diamond.

Fancy my surprise when I actually looked at the entire ad that they are down right lying on their promotional ads! They're filthy LIARS. Incase you can't notice anything that's not right here is a blown up version of the bit where it says what awards it won. Notice anything?


Still nothin'? Okay, check out the winners of the 2006 National Board of Review. Now do you see it?

WINNER
BEST PICTURE
NATIONAL BOARD OF REVIEW

Filthy scummy liars! Sure, it placed on their Top 10 but the only prize it WON was the Supporting Actor (Djimon Hounsou). I tellsya... I'm not gonna see this movie now. It's blatant false advertising. I wasn't intending on seeing it until DVD, but I'll skip it (especially if they put it on the box!) because it's wrong to decieve people like that. For shame Warner Bros, FOR SHAME!!

Philippe Mora is a dumbass

Let us remember who Phillipe Mora is by checking out his IMDb filmography. Yes, he is indeed the man who brought Howling III: The Marsupials into the world (which I, funnily enough, watched just the other night. I know it's pretty fruitless saying how bad it is, but really. What a terrible terrible movie that was).

So I found it particularly rich of him to write article called Nightmares for the Dream Factory at the Sydney Morning Herald. What a load of garbage! Let me give y'all some quotes from his oft-chucklesome piece about the dire state of Hollywood. And then remember that this man Directed/Wrote/Produced titles such as the afore-mentioned Howling III: The Marsupials and Pterodactyl Woman from Beverly Hills. I wish Mr Mora was here to read this because then he might realise how pathetic his "argument" is.

I'm not kidding. Film scripts were once written by Truman Capote, John Steinbeck, William Faulkner, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Norman Mailer, Dorothy Parker, Tennessee Williams … Now they are based on comic strips.

So, in one sweeping sentence, he just completely disregarded every single worthwhile screenwriter in the world. But, I suppose he has a point. I mean, all these award winning screenwriters in the world can't possibly live up the high standards that Mora has set up with titles such as Howling III: The Marsupials, Pterodactyl Woman from Beverly Hills, Art Deco Detective and Snide & Prejudice. WHAT HOPE DO THE REST OF US HAVE, MR MORA?!?

For obvious reasons, the media focus on the most marketed "tent pole" films. The studios now live or die by the gross takings from the first weekend or the even first night of their films. The rule of thumb is that a film's total gross will be twice the takings of its opening weekend. This model has driven quality down radically because studios concentrate on hyping the first days. Films don't have to be any good, just marketable on a fast-food basis.

I'm sure you would've kept pumping out dumb-as-fuck Howling movies if people gave a damn. And get your facts straight, studios don't go on the basis that "a film's total gross will be twice the takings of its opening weekend". Maybe doing some research would give you an actual figure. And, for what it's worth, is anybody shocked at hearing that Hollywood makes movies for *gasp* profit and that they lapse on the quality. They've been doing this since film began you daft twit.

Interestingly, and kind of under the radar in this era of boring testosterone movies, when $US100 million is routinely spent on movies for teenagers with pimples, the most successful and profitable films aside from studio "tent pole" productions are films based on the lives of famous or infamous people in history and a curious sub-genre, movies about weddings.

YOU'RE STUPID. Stop being such a generalising whiney bitch. Why aren't you out there making biopics and wedding movies if they're apparently so fantastically profitable. God you're a dumb fuck. Again, maybe doing some research would help. How about comedies (movies like Borat and Wedding Crashers were made for cheap but made tonnes of cash at the box office) or how about horror movies (routinely made for less than $20mil, yet routinely grossing $100mil). I suppose if he said horror or comedy though then he'd have to defend his own movies that fall into that category and, well, let's face it, there is no defending The Beast Within or Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch (which sits a delightful #32 on IMDb's Bottom 100, a mere 10 spots higher than the #42 ranked Howling III: The Marsupials - WAY TO GO! You're improving!)

Some audiences respond to stories about real people and the human condition, and dialogue with more than one syllable a word. Despite studio market research that is sometimes akin to voodoo and often results in generic, homogenised movies, films celebrating an interesting person attract an audience.

Firstly, "pterodactyl" is more than on syllable so CONGRATULATIONS on breaking down that barrier, and secondly - do you not understand the movie business at all? If a certain kind of movie makes money then more will be made. It's not rocket science you naffwit. I'm so sorry that you're a complete and utter idiot that you can't realise that not everybody wants artistically unique and thought-provoking films every week of the year.

Three recent films in the budget range of $US25 million did very well: The Hours (about Virginia Woolf), Finding Neverland (about J. M. Barrie) and Shakespeare in Love (about Shakespeare). All three films appeared to appeal to the literate demographic that is generally ignored.

I'd hardly call The Hours a Virginia Woolf biopic, nor Shakespeare in Love a Shakespeare biopic.

Other recent movies in this genre include Infamous, Walk the Line, Ray, Pollock, Fur, Marie Antoinette, King of Scotland [sic], Hollywoodland, Copying Beethoven, Bobby and The Aviator. There are also feature documentaries that cross over into the genre such as The US vs John Lennon.

Well, if you can name so many of these titles off the top of your head then surely there's plenty of films out there for this audience. And, seriously, one glance at the US box office shows that there are many films for adults out there, yet they're choosing not to the see them. And it just makes fiscal sense to not release movies like Fur in places with one main road and a man who sits on his porch screaming abuse at people.

The wedding picture is now also a profitable staple. In fact, let's declare it a new, full-on genre that should stand beside horror, action, science fiction and so on. In fact, you would be hard-pressed to find a studio that is not preparing another wedding movie.

Just a smattering of successful wedding titles will give you the picture: Four Weddings and a Funeral, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Wedding Crashers, The Wedding Singer, My Best Friend's Wedding, The Wedding Planner, Muriel's Wedding and American Wedding. Don't forget the new French hit I Do, or Prete-moi ta main.

It wouldn't have to do with the fact that these (bar one or two) are romantic comedies (ya know, a genre that's been around for donkey's years). Wedding Crashers and American Wedding were hardly successful because they had a wedding in them. I'm sure doing a keyword search on IMDb for "Wedding" sure came in handy, didn't it?

God it's good to bitch someone out like that. It really is. That was truly one of the worst pieces of "journalism" I've ever read.