Penelope Cruz + Salma Heyak + Cowboy Chaps and Corsets = "Why Aren't I Straight?"

So, I got sent a free copy of Bandidas in the mail, so I figured I'd watch it and write something about it.

Ya know what? I liked it. It ain't rocket science, it isn't trying to reinvent the wheel, it's just fun. I know a lot of people use that as an excuse to forgive crap (like stuff with Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider or Martin Lawrence), but here I think it's true. It's got two sexy mamas (Penelope Cruz and Salma Heyak) donning tight fitting outfits and parading around the desert shooting at things and robbing banks. If you turn your brain off at the door, I'm sure you'll have a good time.

Stalking around through the IMDb forums there are people saying it's bad because it's unrealistic and the dialogue is stupid and the acting is bad and it's cliched. Have these people been watching the big Summer movies lately? They're seem to be easily forgiven for whatever reason despite having much more money (this only cost $35mil according to the IMDb). This is much better than a lot of the films released in the last US Summer.

It's interesting to think why this movie was unceremoneously dumped by it's studio. I mean, they've got plenty to market - at least to young male audiences. As I already mentioned - Hot chicks in tight clothes robbing banks. If you sit down to watch this movie and can't see that it's a plain ol' fashioned popcorn movie then you deserve to be filled with rage and anger at the end. Go masturbate over that scene in Superman Returns where Superman lifts up a giant rock. That was much more entertaining! *drips sarcasm*

Bandidas is fun and I don't care what others say. Penelope and Salma have great chemistry and it really shines through. It looks wonderful, the action scenes are entertaining and well done and it's funny in places too. But, again, it's a movie about two hot chicks in tight clothes running around the desert robbing banks. If you can't see past that and want some deep and meaningful drama then it's your own fault for not liking it.


Bandidas is out now on DVD in America/Canada and other assorted places. Check it out more by clicking here.

YouTubing it up

I've posted this before, but damn if it's not worth watching again. I'm fairly sure everyone knows for a fact that South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut was royally fucked over in the Original Score category (RIGHT?!), but the nomination for "Blame Canada" in Best Original Song was one of their better moments, and they went all out with the Oscar performance. Sure, Robin Williams forgets the words at the end and he nearly trips over about halfway through, but so what. It's a hoot. Blame Canada, indeed.


This is Penelope Cruz lipsyncing to Estrella Morente's song "Volver". It doesn't have subtitles, but it's the only one I could find. God this scene was great. And even though it doesn't have subtitles you can still feel it. This is just an ounce of why Penelope Cruz deserves that Oscar. Of course, she won't get it, but boy is she stunning.


The video to Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" - a song that I did backflips over when I first heard it recently and voted it as a my #3 Song of 2006. It still stuns when from the opening seconds. "They tried to make me go to rehab/I said 'No! No! No!'" God, this song is good. Super good.


Because it bares repeating how brilliant this movie is (I just rewatched it yesterday, hence it's on my mind)

From the desk of Penélope Cruz [English Dubbed Version]

Dear Helen Mirren,

Please stop stealing all of my awards. I worked really really hard to give the performance I gave this year, and then you come along and start winning everything. And I do mean everything. It’s disheartening. I probably won’t ever be that good again, but you’re fantastic in everything you do. Why you gotta be such a meanie. It’s not fair. I know the nomination is the real honour, but bitch please! I deserve that statue on my mantle. You were great though. Just… you know. I was better.

With Love Always,

Penélope Cruz

From the desk of Penélope Cruz

Querida Helen Mirren,

Por favor deje de robar todos mis premios. Trabajé realmente realmente con fuerza para dar la interpretación que di este año, y luego usted viene y comienza a ganar todo. Y quiero decir realmente todo. Es desalentador. Probablemente no estaré alguna vez que bueno otra vez, pero usted es fantástico en todo que usted hace. Por qué usted tiene que ser tal un maligno y decidir jugar a una verdadera persona de vida este año. No es justo. ¡Sé que el nombramiento es el verdadero honor, pero la hembra por favor! Merezco aquella estatua en mi capa. Usted era grande aunque. Sólo … usted saben. Yo era mejor.

Con Amor Siempre,

Penélope Cruz

Best Actress

Before I go to bed, let me just say this: This will be the best lead female performance of the year from my perspective. Without a doubt. Seal the deal and carve her name into the statue. I can't see how this performance can be beaten for me. Of course, Oscar will be a different story, but, really. WOW!