Penelope Cruz + Salma Heyak + Cowboy Chaps and Corsets = "Why Aren't I Straight?"

So, I got sent a free copy of Bandidas in the mail, so I figured I'd watch it and write something about it.

Ya know what? I liked it. It ain't rocket science, it isn't trying to reinvent the wheel, it's just fun. I know a lot of people use that as an excuse to forgive crap (like stuff with Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider or Martin Lawrence), but here I think it's true. It's got two sexy mamas (Penelope Cruz and Salma Heyak) donning tight fitting outfits and parading around the desert shooting at things and robbing banks. If you turn your brain off at the door, I'm sure you'll have a good time.

Stalking around through the IMDb forums there are people saying it's bad because it's unrealistic and the dialogue is stupid and the acting is bad and it's cliched. Have these people been watching the big Summer movies lately? They're seem to be easily forgiven for whatever reason despite having much more money (this only cost $35mil according to the IMDb). This is much better than a lot of the films released in the last US Summer.

It's interesting to think why this movie was unceremoneously dumped by it's studio. I mean, they've got plenty to market - at least to young male audiences. As I already mentioned - Hot chicks in tight clothes robbing banks. If you sit down to watch this movie and can't see that it's a plain ol' fashioned popcorn movie then you deserve to be filled with rage and anger at the end. Go masturbate over that scene in Superman Returns where Superman lifts up a giant rock. That was much more entertaining! *drips sarcasm*

Bandidas is fun and I don't care what others say. Penelope and Salma have great chemistry and it really shines through. It looks wonderful, the action scenes are entertaining and well done and it's funny in places too. But, again, it's a movie about two hot chicks in tight clothes running around the desert robbing banks. If you can't see past that and want some deep and meaningful drama then it's your own fault for not liking it.


Bandidas is out now on DVD in America/Canada and other assorted places. Check it out more by clicking here.

Love Song For a [Sexy] Vampire

This is part of the Vampire blog-a-thon. Created and monitored by that undead soul that is Nathaniel over at The Film Experience



Vampires: I don't really like them outside of Buffy and a couple of movies. But there's one issue about them that always piques my interest. Hot people! Sexy or Not. That's the constant debate when it comes to vampires and vampire movies. In some movies they are horrible disgusting creatures that want to suck your blood in the most unsavoury of manners. And then there are those movies that feature vampires that want to suck your blood in the most unsavoury of manners, but who are also hotter than a vampire at midday in summer. So I thought for my entry into the Vampire blog-a-thon that I would count down the five sexiest vampires. The ones that you would have a difficult task of actually running away from.

**Please note, Brad Pitt does not appear on hear. I don't particularly care for him in general, let alone in Interview with the Actor where he was about a sexy as a barbequed rat**

5. Kate Beckinsale as "Selene" in Underworld

Fact. I sorta hate Kate Beckinsale. I just really dislike her. I don't get her purpose in the world. And then to go on and say that Underworld is quite possibly the worst horror movie I've ever seen at the cinema, it must be confusing as to why she's on here. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure that if I were a hetersexual 16-year-old male, the sight of Kate running around in way-too-tight-for-an-action-movie vinyl suit would probably be the equivelent of the moon landing in terms of viewer gawking. Even I admit that she was the best looking thing in the movie (Scott Speedman unfortunately played a strung out werewolf).

4. Gerard Butler as "Dracula" and Jeri Ryan, Jennifer Esposity & Colleen Fitzpatrick as Dracula's brides in Dracula 2000

The movie was a dud, but the window dressing sure was fine. Dracula's a lucky man and I think we all know that Gerard Butler is a sexy bitch. I'd let Gerard attack my neck any time he liked.

3. Stephen Dorff as "Deacon Frost" in Blade

Okay, so there's one scene in Blade that has Dorff's character of Deacon being quite naked. Well, shirtless at least, but I think there was more nekkidness. Either way, there's is plenty of evidence out there that he looks damn fine without a shirt on. It helps that Blade was better than a lot of other movies in this vein. I mean, Stephen Dorff ain't no class actor. I highly doubt he'll ever win an Oscar, but if he's willing to remove clothes in as many movies as possible, then his career will be long and prosperous.

2. David Boreanaz as "Angel" in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Okay, so I'm cheating by including the television serious, but not only was Angel a hottie (Buffy's only good catch on the series) but he was a major S.N.A.G. I mean, sure, he's a vampire so he can't go out in the daylight, and sure, when Angel and Buffy had sex that one time he turned into an evil vampire again, but for a while there he was really nice! I mean, he did have a soul afterall. David's become a bit too creepy these days (he's nearly 40. time he started to look his age), but back in the heady days of '97 and '98 he was major spunk material.

1. Salma Hayek as "Santanico Pandemonium" in From Dusk Till Dawn
Salma. Bikini. Albino Python. Fangs. One of my favourite vampire movies. That is all.




[Return to Vampire Central at The Film Experience Blog]
(that's Nosferatu in that icon. He's not sexy. At all.)

The following are all the blogs participating in the Vampire Blog-a-Thon. OMG I was bad/lazy and just got the source HTML code from Nat's page and copied and pasted it into here. What you gonna do? SUCK MY BLOOD?!

The Bloodsucking Blogs
Flickhead has capsules on five favored vampire flicks
Gallery of the Absurd imagines Interview with the Antoinette
House of Sternberg posts original short fiction The Starving
Certifiably Creative offers up Theater Des Vampires
No More Marriages on Pittsburgh as the star of Innocent Blood
Eddie on Film views Fright Night as the top 80s vampire flick
Forward to Yesterday gets political w/ Guy Maddin's Dracula
Silly Hats Only on George Romero's Martin
As Little As Possible loves Dracula: Dead and Loving It
Modern Fabulousity pays tribute to Klaus Kinski as Nosferatu
Low Resolution stays up late From Dusk Till Dawn
goatdog on the dwindling House of Dracula at Universal
Cinemathematics on vampire imagery in Shadow of a Doubt
Burbanked Blame the screenwriter: blood sucking edition

...And Still More Undead
Richard Gibson goes contemporary: Martin and The Addiction
When I Look Deep... pits Drácula against Dracula
Pfangirl on a "bloody awesome trio" of lady bloodsuckers
QTA loves the ladies. And so do the ladies in Vampyros Lesbos
Cinema Fromage 'yeah baby, Dracula in 70s London'
zoom-in requests a DVD fix of The Addiction
Stinky Lulu loves Ketty Lester in Blacula
Way of Words on women: from victims to vampire slayers
Music is My Boyfriend offers tunes for the blog-a-thon
Pen15 Club "When Hilary Duff attacks"
My New Plaid Pants finds Paxton ‘finger lickin’ good’ in Near Dark
Nicks Flick Picks on Coppola's Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Being Boring on the homo-cautionary Interview…
Culture Snob resurrects and old look at Nosferatu
The Horror Blog 'fesses up to some anti-vampire prejudice

The Vampires Are Everywhere!
Tuwa's Shanty on Martin & Nosferatu
Catherine Cantieri the giant sucking sound of 1992's Dracula
The Boob Tubers asks the eternal question: Spike or Angel?
novaslim says a "vuck you" to Grace Jones in Vamp
European Films on Frostbite, a Swedish horror comedy
popbytes recommends Christopher Lee in Hammer's Dracula series
Glitterati points out the most unbelievably cast vampire…ever
100 Films the monster mashup: Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein
Peter Nellhaus on Brides of Dracula
Bright Lights After Dark 'Browning and the Slow Club' (Dracula)
Tim Lucas declares his half dozen favorite vampire flicks
Film Vituperatum Ninjas and Vampires --uncanny similarities!
Film of The Year 'That's Why The Lady is a Vamp'
All About My Movies Angelina Jolie IS a Vampire
Critic After Dark two vampire movies from The Philippines
Agence Eureka a vampire gallery
Cinevistaramascope finds Herzog's Nosferatu superior to Murnau's
Auteur Lust obsesses on Persona: 'The Vampire's In Us'
Bitter Cinema a treasure trove of YouTube vampire trailers
Cutting Room remembers his first time...w/ Bram Stokers Dracula