The 2005 UMAs

I named my awards the Umas because if I were to have a statue it too would be tall, statuesque, golden and carry a sword. Except mine would also have impeccible hair and killer fashion sense and would be totally hot. And, if you want, UMA can stand for "Ultimate Movie Awards" or something equally lame like that. You already know the results of Picture and the acting awards for the most part, but it'll still be fun. I'm just gonna glide through them cause it's May y'all. And BTW, there are some categories have six nominees because I couldn't decide who to axe. Y'all just have to deal with it. :p

I must note that I have not seen the following movies that played somewhat of a part in the awards season:
Junebug
The Squid and the Whale
Kings & Queen
Happy Endings
Jarhead
Grizzly Man
The March of the Penguins
The White Countess

BEST PICTURE
Brokeback Mountain
Look Both Ways
Mysterious Skin
The New World
Pride & Prejudice

GOLD:
Brokeback Mountain

SILVER:
The New World
BRONZE:
Mysterious Skin

BEST DIRECTOR
Woody Allen - Match Point
Gregg Araki - Mysterious Skin
Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain
Terrence Malick - The New World
Sarah Watt - Look Both Ways

Honourable Mention: George Clooney (Good Night & Good Luck., Michael Haneke (Hidden), Fernando Meirelles (The Constant Gardener), Wong Kar-Wai (2046), Christopher Nolan (Batman Begins), Miranda July Me & You & Everyone We Know), Joe Wright (Pride & Prejudice), Greg McLean (Wolf Creek), Agnès Jaoui (Look At Me)

GOLD:
Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain

SILVER:
Gregg Araki - Mysterious Skin
BRONZE:
Terrence Malick - The New World

BEST ACTRESS
Joan Allen - The Upside of Anger
Cate Blanchett - Little Fish
Justine Clarke - Look Both Ways
Keira Knightley - Pride & Prejudice
Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line

Honourable Mentions: Judi Dench (Mrs Henderson Presents), Angelina Jolie (Mr & Mrs Smith), Toni Collette (In Her Shoes), Leleti Khumalo (Yesterday), Claire Danes (Shopgirl), Q'Orianka Kilcher (The New World), Miranda July (Me & You...), Felicity Huffman (Transamerica), Radha Mitchell (Melinda & Melinda)

GOLD:
Joan Allen - The Upside of Anger

SILVER:
Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line
BRONZE:
Keira Knightley - Pride & Prejudice

BEST ACTOR
Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain
Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Mysterious Skin
Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Capote
Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain
David Strathairn - Good Night, and Good Luck.

Honourable Mentions: Jamie Bell (Undertow), Colin Farrell (The New World), William McInnes (Look Both Ways), Steve Carell (The 40-Year-Old Virgin), Ray Winstone (The Proposition), Terrance Howard (Hustle & Flow), Ralph Fiennes (The Constant Gardener), Viggo Mortensen (A History of Violence), Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line), Tony Leung (2046), Christian Bale (Batman Begins), Alex O'Loughlin (Oyster Farmer), Rumain Duris (The Beat That My Heart Skipped) and Russell Crowe (Cinderella Man)

GOLD:
Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain

SILVER:
Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Mysterious Skin
BRONZE:
Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Agnès Jaoui - Look At Me
Noni Hazlehurst - Little Fish
Thandie Newton - Crash
Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener
Michelle Williams - Brokeback Mountain
Ziyi Zhang - 2046

Honourable Mentions: Maria Bello (A History of Violence), Brenda Blethyn (Pride & Prejudice), Sandra Bullock (Crash), Shirley MacLaine (In Her Shoes), Michelle Monaghan (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang), Sheri Moon-Zombie (The Devil's Rejects) Taryn Manning & Taraji P Henson (Hustle & Flow), Tilda Swinton (The Chronicles of Narnia), Brooke Smith (Melinda & Melinda), Anne Hathaway (Brokeback Mountain), Emily Watson (The Proposition), Catherine Keener (Capote & The 40-Year-Old Virgin), Kerry Armstrong (Oyster Farmer), the girls for Rent

GOLD:
Ziyi Zhang - 2046

SILVER:
Michelle Williams - Brokeback Mountain
BRONZE:
Noni Hazlehurst - Little Fish

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Kevin Costner - The Upside of Anger
William Hurt - A History of Violence
John Jarratt - Wolf Creek
Val Kilmer - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Frank Langella - Good Night, and Good Luck.

Honourable Mentions: Gary Beach (The Producers), Alexander Siddig (Syriana and Kingdom of Heaven), Matt Dillon (Crash), Edward Norton (Kingdom of Heaven), Hugo Weaving (Little Fish and Peaches), Anthony Hayes (Look Both Ways)

GOLD:
Frank Langella - Good Night, and Good Luck.

SILVER:
Val Kilmer - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
BRONZE:
William Hurt - A History of Violence

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Judd Apatow & Steve Carell - The 40-Year-Old Virgin
George Clooney & Grant Heslov - Good Night, and Good Luck.
Shane Black - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Sarah Watt - Look Both Ways
Woody Allen - Match Point (+ Melinda & Melinda)

Honourable Mentions: Nick Park (Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit), Rob Zombie (The Devil's Rejects), Miranda July (Me & You & Everyone We Know), Agnes Jaoui & Jean-Pierre Bacri (Look At Me), Mike Binder (The Upside of Anger), Wong Kar-Wai (2046), Anna Reeves (Oyster Farmer)

GOLD:
Sarah Watt - Look Both Ways

SILVER:
Woody Allen - Match Point (+ Melinda & Melinda)
BRONZE:
Judd Apatow & Steve Carell - The 40-Year-Old Virgin

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
David S Goyer & Christopher Nolan - Batman Begins, Adapted from the characters of "Batman" created by Bob Kane
Diana Osanna & Larry McMurtry - Brokeback Mountain, Adapted from the short story "Brokeback Mountain" written by E. Annie Proulx
Josh Olson - A History of Violence, Adapted from the graphic novel by John Wagner & Vince Locke
Gregg Araki - Mysterious Skin, Adapted from the novel "Mysterious Skin" written by Scott Heim
Deborah Moggach & Emma Thompson - Pride & Prejudice, Adapted from the novel "Pride & Prejudice" written by Jane Austen

Honourable Mention: Jeffrey Caine (The Constant Gardener), Dan Futterman (Capote), Susannah Grant (In Her Shoes), Joss Whedon (Serenity), Jacques Audiard & Tonino Benacqista (The Beat That My Heart Skipped)

GOLD:
Diana Osanna & Larry McMurtry - Brokeback Mountain

SILVER:
Gregg Araki - Mysterious Skin
BRONZE:
Josh Olson - A History of Violence

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
2046
Brokeback Mountain
Good Night, and Good Luck.
The New World
Pride & Prejudice

Honourable Mentions: The Constant Gardener, Munich, Caché, Crash, Last Days, Capote, Batman Begins, King Kong, Oyster Farmer, Kung-fu Hustle, Peaches, Red Lights, The Proposition, Yesterday

GOLD:
Emmanuel Lubezki - The New World

SILVER:
Robert Elswit - Good Night & Good Luck.
BRONZE:
Rodrigo Prieto - Brokeback Mountain

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN/ART DIRECTION
2046
Good Night, and Good Luck.
King Kong
Pride & Prejudice
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride

Honourable Mentions: The New World, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Batman Begins, Sin City, The Producers, Walk the Line, House of Wax, Memoirs of a Geisha

GOLD:
Alex McDowell - Tim Burton's Corpse Bride

SILVER:
Sarah Greenwood - Pride & Prejudice
BRONZE:
William Chang - 2046

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
2046
Memoirs of a Geisha
Mrs Henderson Presents
Pride & Prejudice
Walk the Line

Honourable Mentions:
Good Night, and Good Luck., The New World, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Kingdom of Heaven

GOLD:
Jacqueline Durran - Pride & Prejudice

SILVER:
Sandy Powell - Mrs Henderson Presents
BRONZE:
William Chang - 2046

BEST EDITING
Brokeback Mountain
The Constant Gardener
Good Night, and Good Luck.
A History of Violence
Mysterious Skin

Honourable Mentions: The New World, Look Both Ways, Pride & Prejudice, Caché, Walk the Line, Cinderella Man, The Devil's Rejects

GOLD:
Gregg Araki - Mysterious Skin

SILVER:
Geraldine Peroni & Dylan Tichenor - Brokeback Mountain
BRONZE:
Claire Simpson - The Constant Gardener

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Batman Begins
King Kong
Sin City

Honourable Mentions: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, House of Wax, Serenity, War of the Worlds

GOLD:
King Kong

SILVER:
Batman Begins
BRONZE:
Sin City

BEST MAKE-UP
2046
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
The New World
Sin City
Walk the Line

Honourable Mentions: The Devil's Rejects, A History of Violence, Pride & Prejudice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Memoirs of a Geisha, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, Land of the Dead

GOLD:
The New World

SILVER:
2046
BRONZE:
Sin City

BEST ORIGINAL DRAMATIC SCORE
Gustavo Santaolalla - Brokeback Mountain
Alberto Iglesias - The Constant Gardener
Mark Isham - Crash
John Williams - Munich
Alexandre Desplat - Syriana, Hostage & The Beat That My Heart Skipped

Honourable Mentions: Sin City, Cinderella Man, Peaches, A History of Violence, Capote, 2046, Batman Begins, Wolf Creek

GOLD:
Gustavo Santoalalla - Brokeback Mountain

SILVER:
John Williams - Munich
BRONZE:
Alberto Iglesias - The Constant Gardener

BEST COMEDIC OR MUSICAL SCORE
Danny Elfman - Tim Burton's Corpse Bride & Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
John Powell - Mr & Mrs Smith
Dario Marianelli - Pride & Prejudice
Alexandre Desplat - The Upside of Anger
Julian Nott - Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Honourable Mentions: Oyster Farmer, Me & You & Everyone We Know

GOLD:
Dario Narianelli - Pride & Prejudice

SILVER:
Julian Nott - Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
BRONZE:
John Powell - Mr & Mrs Smith

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
Brokeback Mountain - "A Love That Will Never Grow Old"
Crash - "In The Deep"
Happy Endings - "How Lucky Am I?"
Happy Endings - "I Can't Wait"
Transamerica - "Travelin' Thru"

Honourable Mentions: Hustle & Flow ("It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" & "Hustle & Flow (It Ain't Over"), The Constant Gardener ("Dicholo"), Last Days ("Death to Birth"), The Chronicles of Narnia ("Can't Take It In")

GOLD:
Transamerica - "Travelin' Thru"

SILVER:
Happy Endings - "I Can't Wait"
BRONZE:
Brokeback Mountain - "A Love That Will Never Grow Old"

BEST SOUND DESIGN
King Kong
Last Days
Mr & Mrs Smith
The New World
War of the Worlds

Honourable Mentions: Munich, Star Wars: Episode III, The Proposition, Walk the Line, 2046, Wolf Creek, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

GOLD:
Last Days

SILVER:
War of the Worlds
BRONZE:
The New World

BEST SOUND EDITING
King Kong
Look Both Ways
War of the Worlds

Honourable Mentions: Mr & Mrs Smith, Walk the Line, Star Wars: Episode III

GOLD:
War of the Worlds

SILVER:
King Kong
BRONZE:
Look Both Ways

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
2046 - China/Hong Kong
The Beat That My Heart Skipped [De Battre mon Coeur s'est Arrêté] - France
Hidden [Caché] - France/Germany/Italy
Look At Me [Comme une Image] - France
Red Lights [Feux Rouges] - France
Yesterday - South Africa

GOLD:
Look At Me [Comme une Image] - France

SILVER:
Hidden [Caché] - France/Germany/Italy
BRONZE:
2046 - China/Hong Kong

(I must acknowledge Howl's Moving Castle, unfortunately I saw it in English at the cinema so I deemed it inelligable)

BEST ANIMATED OR MIXED MEDIA FILM
Howl's Moving Castle
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

GOLD:
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

SILVER:
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
BRONZE:
Howl's Moving Castle

BEST AUSTRALIAN FILM
Little Fish, dir. Rowan Woods
Look Both Ways, dir. Sarah Watt
Oyster Farmer, dir. Anna Reeves
Peaches, dir. Craig Monahan
Wolf Creek, dir. Greg McLean

Honourable Mentions: The Mysterious Geographical Explorations of Jasper Morello (Anim. Short), Land Mines - A Love Story (Documentary), The Hidden History of Homosexual Australia (Documentary)

GOLD:
Look Both Ways

SILVER:
Oyster Farmer
BRONZE:
Wolf Creek

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ENSEMBLE CAST
(I consider this a major category, hence it being here)
Brokeback Mountain - Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Williams, Anne Hathaway, Randy Quaid, Anna Faris, Linda Cardellini, David Harbour, Roberta Maxwell, Peter McRobbie, Kate Mara, Graham Beckel & Mary Liboiron
Crash - Don Cheadle, Thandie Newton, Matt Dillon, Sandra Bullock, Terrance Howard, Ryan Phillippe, Jennifer Esposito, Ludicris, Brendan Fraser, Larenz Tate, Marina Sirtis, Shaun Toub, Yomi Perry, Michael Pena, Nona Gaye, William Fitchner, Beverley Todd, Tony Danza & Lorette Devine
Good Night, and Good Luck - David Strathairn, George Clooney, Patricia Clarkson, Robert Downey Jr, Frank Langella, Jeff Daniels, Ray Wise, Alex Borstein, Matt Ross, Rose Abdoo, Robert John Blake, Reed Diamond, Tate Donovan, Grant Heslov, Peter Jacobson, Thomas McCarthy & Dianne Reeves
Little Fish - Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving, Noni Hazlehurst, Sam Neill, Martin Henderson, Lisa McCune, Susie Porter, Joel Tobeck, Daniella Farinacci, Dustin Nguyen, Anthony Wong, Anh Do, Linda Cropper, Nina Liu & the Sacred Heart School of Cabramatta Choir
Pride & Prejudice - Keira Knightley, Matthew Macfadyen, Donald Sutherland, Brenda Blethyn, Rosamund Pike, Talulah Riley, Jena Malone, Casey Mulligan, Simon Woods, Kelly Reilley, Claudie Blakley, Sylvester Morand & Judi Dench

Honourable Mentions: Match Point, Hustle & Flow, 2046, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Syriana and Capote

GOLD:
Pride & Prejudice

SILVER:
Little Fish
BRONZE:
Brokeback Mountain

NOW, time for some fun awards. Yes, a lot of these are blatantly stolen from Nathaniel's film bitch awards, but some are ones I decided to throw in myself. So... 'tev, y'all.

BEST ACTOR IN A LIMITED OR CAMEO ROLE
Roger Bart - The Producers
Ralph Fiennes - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Bill Sage - Mysterious Skin
Robert Trebor - The Devil's Rejects
Elijah Wood - Sin City
(please note, William Hurt for A History of Violence was nominated for Best Supporting Actor so I deemed him inneligable from here)

Honourable Mentions: Bill Nighy (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galexy), Peter McRobbie (Brokeback Mountain), Ray Wise (Good Night, and Good Luck.)

GOLD:
Roger Bart - The Producers

SILVER:
Elijah Wood - Sin City
BRONZE:
Bill Sage - Mysterious Skin

BEST ACTRESS IN A LIMITED OR CAMEO ROLE
Lorette Devine - Crash
Sacha Horler - The Illustrated Family Doctor & Look Both Ways
Roberta Maxwell - Brokeback Mountain
Miranda Richardson - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Beverley Todd - Crash

Honourable Mentions: Lisa McCune (Little Fish), Judi Dench (Pride & Prejudice), Lynn Cohen (Munich), Anna Faris (Brokeback Mountain)

GOLD:
Lorette Devine - Crash

SILVER:
Sacha Horler - The Illustrated Family Doctor & Look Both Ways
BRONZE:
Miranda Richardson - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

BEST BREAKTHROUGH - PERFORMANCE
Terrance Howard - Hustle & Flow and Crash
Q'Orianka Kilcher - The New World
Alex O'Loughlin - Oyster Farmer
Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Mysterious Skin
Michelle Monaghan - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Mr & Mrs Smith
Alexander Siddig - Syriana and Kingdom of Heaven

Honourable Mentions: Miranda July (Me & You...), Kestie Morassi (Wolf Creek & The Illustrated Family Doctor), Emma Lung (Peaches)

GOLD:
Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Mysterious Skin

SILVER:
Alex O'Loughlin - Oyster Farmer
BRONZE:
Michelle Monaghan - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Mr & Mrs Smith

BEST BREAKTHROUGH - FILMMAKING
Judd Apatow - The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Miranda July - Me & You & Everyone We Know
Bennett Miller - Capote
Sarah Watt - Look Both Ways
Joe Wright - Pride & Prejudice

Honourable Mentions: Anna Reeves (Oyster Farmer), Greg McLean (Wolf Creek)

GOLD:
Sarah Watt - Look Both Ways

SILVER:
Miranda July - Me & You & Everyone We Know
BRONZE:
Judd Apatow - The 40-Year-Old Virgin

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
Joan Allen - The Upside of Anger
Steve Carell - The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Isla Fisher - Wedding Crashers
Miranda July - Me & You & Everyone We Know
Val Kilmer - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

GOLD:
Joan Allen - The Upside of Anger

SILVER:
Steve Carell - The 40-Year-Old Virgin
BRONZE:
Val Kilmer - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

VILLAIN OF THE YEAR
The Scarecrow, Played by Cillian Murphy in Batman Begins
The White Witch, Played by Tilda Swinton in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
The Devil's Rejects in The Devil's Rejects
Jackson Rippner, Played by Cillian Murphy in Red Eye
Mick Taylor, Played by John Jarratt in Wolf Creek

Honourable Mentions: Sen. Joseph McCarthy (Himself, Good Night, and Good Luck.), Fogarty (Ed Harris, A History of Violence), The Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor, Serenity), The Witch of the Waste (Howl's Moving Castle), The Axe Gang (Kung-fu Hustle)

GOLD:
Mick Taylor, Played by John Jarratt in Wolf Creek

SILVER:
The Devil's Rejects, Played by Sid Haig, Bill Mosely & Sheri Moon-Zombie in The Devil's Rejects
BRONZE:
Jackson Rippner, Played by Cillian Murphy in Red Eye

HERO OF THE YEAR
Batman, Played by Christian Bale in Batman Begins
Edward R. Murrow, Played by David Strathairn in Good Night, and Good Luck.
Lisa Reisart, Played by Rachel McAdams in Red Eye
Mal, Played by Nathan Fillion in Serenity
Gromit, in Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

GOLD:
Gromit, in Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

SILVER:
Edward R. Murrow, Played by David Strathairn in Good Night, and Good Luck.
BRONZE:
Lisa Reisart, Played by Rachel McAdams in Red Eye

SEXPOT OF THE YEAR
Romain Duris - The Beat That My Heart Skipped
Angelina Jolie - Mr & Mrs Smith
Matthew Macfadyen - Pride & Prejudice
Alex O'Loughlin - Oyster Farmer
Ziyi Zhang - 2046

Honourable Mentions: Maria Bello (A History of Violence), Uma Thurman (The Producers), Jamie Bell (Undertown), Joan Allen (The Upside of Anger), Rosario Dawson (Sin City)

GOLD:
Alex O'Loughlin - Oyster Farmer

SILVER:
Angelina Jolie - Mr & Mrs Smith
BRONZE:
Romain Duris - The Beat That My Heart Skipped

BEST CHARACTER INTRODUCTION
Miranda July - Me & You & Everyone We Know
Q'Orianka Kilcher - The New World
Matthew Macfadyen - Pride & Prejudice
Elijah Wood - Sin City
Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line

Honourable Mentions: Gary Beach (The Producers), John Jarratt (Wolf Creek), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Mysterious Skin), Wallace & Gromit (Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit)

GOLD:
Q'Orianka Kilcher - The New World

SILVER:
Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line
BRONZE:
Matthew Macfadyen - Pride & Prejudice

BEST "MIX-TAPE" SCORE
Good Night, and Good Luck.
Last Days
Little Fish
The New World
Walk the Line

Honourable Mentions: Mrs Henderson Presents, The Devil's Rejects, Hustle & Flow, Look Both Ways, The Producers, Tim Burton's Corpse Bride

GOLD:
The New World (featuring James Horner, Richard Wagner and Mozart)

SILVER:
Little Fish (featuring Nathan Larson, Sarah Blasko, The Sacred Heart School of Cabramatta Choir and Bic Runga)
BRONZE:
Walk the Line (featuing Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon)

BEST CONTEMPORARY COSTUME DESIGN
Crash
Hustle & Flow
Me & You & Everyone We Know
Mr & Mrs Smith
Mysterious Skin

Honourable Mentions: The Interpreter, Shopgirl, In Her Shoes, Transamerica, Melinda & Melinda, Hating Alison Ashley

GOLD:
Michael Kaplan - Mr & Mrs Smith

SILVER:
Linda M Bass - Crash
BRONZE:
Christie Wittenborn - Me & You & Everyone We Know

BEST CONTEMPORARY PRODUCTION DESIGN
Crash
Dark Water
A History of Violence
Look At Me
Mr & Mrs Smith

Honourable Mentions: Mysterious Skin, The Constant Gardener, Syriana, Me & You & Everyone We Know, Bewitched

GOLD:
Thérèsa DePrez - Dark Water

SILVER:
Oliver Jacquet - Look At Me
BRONZE:
Jeff Mann - Mr & Mrs Smith

FUNNIEST MOVIE
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The Producers
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
The Upside of Anger

Honourable Mentions: Mr & Mrs Smith, Me & You & Everyone We Know, Wedding Crashers, Mrs Henderson Presents, The Devil's Rejects, Melinda & Melinda, Shopgirl, Bride & Prejudice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

GOLD:
The 40-Year-Old Virgin

SILVER:
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
BRONZE:
The Producers

BEST MUSICAL SEQUENCE IN A MUSICAL FILM
Hustle & Flow - "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp"
Last Days - "Fetus"
The Producers - "I Want To Be A Producer"
The Producers - "Springtime For Hitler"
Rent - "La Vie Boheme"
Walk the Line - "Jackson"

Honourable Mentions: The rest of Walk the Line, "Augustus Gloop" (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), "Keep It Gay" (The Producers), "Death To Birth" (Last Days), "No Life Without Wife" (Bride & Prejudice), "No Day But Today" (Rent)

GOLD:
Rent - "La Vie Boheme"

SILVER:
The Producers - "Springtime For Hitler"
BRONZE:
The Producers - "I Want To Be A Producer"

BEST MUSICAL SEQUENCE IN A NON-MUSICAL FILM
The 40-Year-Old Virgin - "Age of Aquarius"
Good Night, and Good Luck. - "One For My Baby"
Little Fish - "Flame Trees"
Look At Me - "O Celestial Art"
Peaches - "The Carnival is Over"

GOLD:
Little Fish - "Flame Trees"

SILVER:
The 40-Year-Old Virgin - "Age of Aquarius"
BRONZE:
Peaches - "The Carnival is Over"

BEST KISS
Tony Leung & Ziyi Zhang - 2046
Heath Ledger & Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie - Mr & Mrs Smith
Alex O'Loughlin & Diana Glenn - Oyster Farmer
Joaquin Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line

Honourable Mentions: Terrance Howard & Taraji P Henson (Hustle & Flow), Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Michelle Trachtenburg (Mysterious Skin), Ralph Fiennes & Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardener)

GOLD:
Heath Ledger & Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain

(for the kiss at Ennis' home with Alma watching on)
SILVER:
Alex O'Loughlin & Diana Glenn - Oyster Farmer
BRONZE:
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie - Mr & Mrs Smith

BEST ACTION SEQUENCE
Batman Begins - Battle on the Train Over Gotham
Cinderella Man - Baer Vs Braddock
King Kong - Kong Vs the Dinosaurs
Mr & Mrs Smith - Mr Smith Vs Mrs Smith
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - Obi-Wan Vs General Grievous

Honourable Mentions: Burning Down the House (House of Wax), Battle for Peace (Serenity), LA Freeway (The Island), Empire State Building (King Kong), Guitar Swords (Kung-fu Hustle), Giant Vegetable Festival (Wallace & Gromit), Final Battle (The Chronicles of Narnia)

GOLD:
Cinderella Man - Baer Vs Braddock

SILVER:
King Kong - Kong Vs the Dinosaurs
BRONZE:
Mr & Mrs Smith - Mr Smith Vs Mrs Smith

BEST OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE
Caché
Hostage
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Mrs Henderson Presents
Sin City

GOLD:
Caché

SILVER:
Sin City
BRONZE:
Mrs Henderson Presents

BEST OPENING SEQUENCE
Brokeback Mountain
Capote
Munich
Pride & Prejudice
Sin City

Honourable Mentions: 2046, Mr & Mrs Smith, Yesterday

GOLD:
Capote - Kansas Countryside. Murder Discovery.

SILVER:
Pride & Prejudice - Morning Walk. Home Tour.
BRONZE:
Brokeback Mountain - First Meeting. First Glance.

BEST ENDING
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Brokeback Mountain
The Devil's Rejects
Little Fish
Mysterious Skin
The New World

Honourable Mention: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Me & You & Everyone We Know, Caché, The Constant Gardener, 2046, Yesterday, Munich (VERY end), Pride & Prejudice

SIX-WAY TIE! All these endings are supurb! The 40-Year-Old Virgin with it's hilarious Hair moment. Brokeback's "Jack, I swear...", Harry Potter and the beginning of adulthood. Little Fish and it's "Flame Trees" reprise. Mysterious Skin's connecting of two souls. And The New World's return to Virginia. If I had to really decide (with a gun to my head) it'd go:
GOLD
Brokeback Mountain

SILVER:
Little Fish
GOLD:
Mysterious Skin

BEST POSTER DESIGN
Brokeback Mountain
House of Wax
Match Point
Mr & Mrs Smith
Look At Me
Wolf Creek

Honourable Mentions: Wolf Creek (Quad Design), 2046, Good Night, and Good Luck. (1950's Design), The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Mysterious Skin (Transposed Design), Diary of a Mad Black Woman (Flower Design), Kung-fu Hustle, Inside Deep Throat, Three... Extremes, Haute Tension, Me & You & Everyone We Know

GOLD:
Wolf Creek

SILVER:
House of Wax
BRONZE:
Brokeback Mountain

BEST TAG LINE
Brokeback Mountain - "Love is a Force of Nature"
The Magician - "He Makes People Disappear"
Jarhead - "Welcome to the Suck"
Ong Bak - "No Stunt Doubles. No Computer Images. No Strings Attached."
Saw II - "Oh Yes. There Will Be Blood"

GOLD:
Saw II - "Oh Yes. There Will Be Blood"

SILVER:
The Magician - "He Makes People Disappear"
BRONZE:
Brokeback Mountain - "Love is a Force of Nature"

BEST TRAILER FOR A 2005 RELEASE
The Amityville Horror
Brokeback Mountain
Match Point
Sin City
Red Eye

GOLD:
Red Eye

SILVER:
The Amityville Horror
BRONZE:
Match Point

BEST FILM TITLE
(it's a fine art y'all)
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
A History of Violence
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Sympathy For Mr Vengeance

GOLD:
The Exorcism of Emily Rose

SILVER:
A History of Violence
BRONZE:
The 40-Year Old Virgin

BEST PERFORMANCE IN A BAD MOVIE
(aka, the 'It Wasn't Their Fault' Award)
Ellen Barkin - Palindromes
Sacha Horler - The Illustrated Family Doctor
Gong Li - Memoirs of a Geisha
Sam Rockwell - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galexy
Tilda Swinton - The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

GOLD:
Tilda Swinton - The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

SILVER:
Sacha Horler - The Illustrated Family Doctor
BRONZE:
Sam Rockwell - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galexy

BEST SCENE OF THE YEAR
(excluding previously nominated scenes)
The 40-Year-Old Virgin - Pussy on a Pedestal
Brokeback Mountain - Farewell/Flashback
Capote - Public Reading of "In Cold Blood"
Crash - Car Crash Rescue
King Kong - Central Park Ice Rink
Me & You & Everyone We Know - That Point in a Relationship
Oyster Farmer - Trish Medicates Jack
Pride & Prejudice - Lizzy and Darcy Fight in the Rain
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit - Lady Tottington's Rabbit Problem
Wolf Creek - The Road

GOLD:
Brokeback Mountain - Farewell/Flashback

SILVER:
Me & You & Everyone We Know - That Point in a Relationship

BRONZE:
Wolf Creek - The Road


And as a coda, here are my own Razzies. They don't have their name. The winners are in bold

WORST PICTURE
Elektra
The Illustrated Family Doctor
Oldboy
The Perfect Man
The Ring Two

WORST DIRECTOR
Rob Bowman - Elektra
Hidea Nakata - The Ring Two
Mark Rosman - The Perfect Man
Todd Solondz - Palindromes
Steven Spielberg - War of the Worlds and the second half of Munich

WORST SCREENPLAY
Cursed
Elektra
Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous
The Perfect Man
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

WORST ACTOR
Orlando Bloom - Kingdom of Heaven & Elizabethtown
Hayden Christensen - Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Min Sik-Choi - Oldboy
Samual Johnson - The Illustrated Family Doctor
Ioan Griffard - Fantastic 4

WORST ACTRESS
Jessica Alba - Fantastic 4 and Sin City
Hilary Duff - The Perfect Man
Jennifer Garner - Elektra
Heather Locklear - The Perfect Man
Christina Ricci - Cursed

That one really pains me! But my god!!! She looked permanantly puzzled

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Diedrich Bader - Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous
Ben Foster - Hostage
Jeremy Iron - Kingdom of Heaven
Tim Robbins - War of the Worlds
The Entire Male Cast of Cursed, including Joshua Jackson, Scott Baio, Milo Vengimiglia, etc)

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Tsai Chin - Memoirs of a Geisha
Kirsten Dunst - Elizabethtown
Delta Goodrem - Hating Alison Ashley
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Palindromes
The Entire Female Cast of Cursed, including Mya, Shannon Elizabeth, Judy Greer, Portia DeRossi, etc)

YOU ARE TO BECOME GEISHA!!!

WORST TECHNICAL ACHIEVMENT
Cursed - Visual Effects and Werewolf Design
Elektra - Visual Effects, Cinematography and Editing
The Illustrated Family Doctor - Cinematography and Production Design
Madagascar - Animation and Voice Work
Oldboy - Cinematography and Make-Up

AND THAT'S IT FOLKS! They're all done. I'm gonna permanantly link it in the sidebar and whenever I see a 2005 film and feel it should be here I will update it. So... I hope y'all enjoyed it!

iPod iPsychology

I saw this at Nathaniel's blog who in turn, got it from Johnny a Go Go who actually got it from Michael's Pipedreams who found it at A Child of Atom who got it from another blog but didn't link it so I have no idea where it originated. That's a twisted little net ain't it?

Basically, you just set your iPod to shuffle and each song that comes on answers the corresponding question. (first song answers first q, and so on). NO SKIPPING!. Be truthful y'all. I wonder if it'll be foretelling or hilarious out-of-sync.

So here goes...

1. How does the world see you?
"I've Seen It All" by Björk & Thom Yorke - Ooh, this one's funny. Friends of mine always joke that's I've seen too many movies! Other than that, I haven't seen Niagara Falls, the Great Wall of China, etc but I have seen the Empire State! Been inside it too!

2. Will I have a happy life?
"Love Machine" by Girls Aloud - *sneaky grin* I don't really get how the lyrics imply my life will be happy or not, but it's a fun song to get anyway!

3. What do my friends think of me?
"Smoke" by Natalie Imbruglia - They think I'm depressing like this song? I HOPE NOT! "bleeding is breathing" eep. I'm sooo not "hiding under the smoke in the room". i AM the smoke in the room, baby!

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
"Offend In Every Way" by the White Stripes - Oh, dear. The song has this delighful verse.

I'm walking through the door
but they're expecting more
of an interesting man
and sometimes I think I can
but how much can I fake
I'll speak until I break
with every word I say
offend in every way

5. How can I make myself happy?
"(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" by Aretha Franklin - lol. eu naturale, eh? :p Actually, I think what the song is telling me is that I need to find a man who makes me feel like a natural woman (or, ya know... a natural guy). Which is easier said than done, y'all.

6. What should I do with my life?
"L.O.V.E. [Jared Jones Remix]" by Ashlee Simpson feat. Missy Elliot - I should L.O.V.E. in a remixed sorta way and feature a rap by Missy Elliot. That's super! Everyone's life should feature a rap by Missy. I also think the song is telling me to live a frivilous and unimportant life. Ashlee don't sing about issues, y'all.

7. Will I ever have children?
"Summer Overture" by Clint Mansell & the Kronos Quartet - er... Either I will follow Ellen Burstyn's character and have a son or I will follow Jared Leto's and fall into a drug-addicted dead end... and not have kids. THANKS!

8. What is some good advice for me?
"Read Between the Lines" by Aaliyah - Now that's some freaky deaky shit right there! What lines should I read between?! The song is too vague!!

9. How will I be remembered?
"In the Musicals" by Björk - Is this a subliminal way of telling me I have untapped talents in the area of music?! I always thought I was musically inept. Maybe I should pull out the lyrics I wrote for a musical last year and polish them off. I could cast Toni Collette!

10. What's my signature dance song?
"But Julian, I'm A Little Bit Older Than You" by Courtney Love - lolz, How much do I LOVE Courtney? A whole lot. This song is uber-fun to rock out to because it is so ridiculously drugged out. Plus, it has the lyric "I see France, I see France, I can see your underpants" ROFL!

11. What's my current theme song?
"Ready 2 Wear" by Felix da Housecat - hmmm, just yesterday I was thinking to myself "There are a lot of 21st birthday parties over the next year. I should buy myself some nice clothes" Ready 2 Wear, baby.

12. What do others think my current theme song is?
"Mo Money, Mo Problems" by Notorious BIG feat P Diddy & Ma$e - Do people think I'm splurging lately or something? I'm really not. Just a few DVDs!

13. What shall they play at my funeral?
"Falling" by Julee Cruise - I'd never thought about it before, but this would be a great funeral song! It uses the "Twin Peaks" theme music with enigmatic lyrics. Okay, this is definitely on the shortlist! lol

14. What type of men do I like?
"The Flame" by Cheap Trick - I like my men mulletised, do I? I must say, any guy I have a relationship with MUST have an appreciation for '80s music - key to this appreciation is power ballads. But that's not whaty the song is about. "Where ever you go/I'll be with you/Whatever you want/I'll give it to you/.../Remember after all the fire/after all the rain/I will be the flame" I suppose sums it up though nicely.

15. How's my love life?
"Together We Are One" by Delta Goodrem - This would make me much happier if there was anything actually happening in my love life, ya know.

Well, that was fun!

Whoa. Richard Cartlon just died. And during a press conference for the two men trapped in the mine down in Tasmania.

Everybody Say Together: OUCH!

Box Office Results are in for the first Friday of "Summer" and... well... sorry Tommy boy, but you're not guaranteed a huge opening anymore. YAY! Mission Impossible 3 is going to open with a really disappointing three-day take.

Possible reasons for this

1) The "first week of summer" has disappointed for the last three years. Maybe they [Hollywood] should rethink this.
2) A substantial amount of people didn't like Mission Impossible 2 at all and decided to not go - especially since it was 6 years ago.
3) It looked like shit and boring.
3) A substantial amount of people think Tom Cruise is batshit crazy and boycotted the damned thing!

They definitely can't say there wasn't enough publicity. It was everywhere. If this movie makes less than stuff like Van Helsing or Hulk I think I'll laugh so hard i'll pop!

Glenn Presents his Top 10 of 2005 (+ 10 Worst)

So, I'm gonna post my Top 10 of the year (as well as a quick summary of the worst of the year) and after that move on to the awards. It shall be fun, non?

10 WORST OF 2005
10. (tie)
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, dir. Lucas
War of the Worlds, dir. Spielberg
9. The Wedding Date, dir. Kilner
8. Cursed, dir. Craven
7. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, dir. Jennings
6. Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, dir. Pasquin
5. The Illustrated Family Doctor, dir. Stenders
4. The Ring Two, dir. Nakata
3. Oldboy, dir. Park
2. Elektra, dir. Bowman
1. The Perfect Man, dir. Rosman

Trash, the lot of 'em!

Now after those entrees, it's time for the main meal.

THE TOP 10 OF 2005
10. The Constant Gardener, dir. Meirelles

There's not really much I can say about this film. I was a huge fan of Fernando Meirelles' prior film City of God and he didn't disappoint with his sophomore effort. His already clear and identifiable style works well with the chaotic backdrop of the story. He manages to get excellent performances out of all involved and technically the film is extraordinary. But what gives the film that extra oomph is the finale. A eulogy in the figurative sense. This film was great.

9. Me & You & Everyone We Know, dir. July

Definitely one of the most confident and accomplished debuts of recent years. Miranda July wrote, directed and starred in this ode to eccentrics. But what's great about this film is that it grabs ahold of each characters' quirks and makes us see them as normal. So while you laugh at the start, and continue all the way through, by the end you're not laughing at them but with them.

8. Match Point, dir. Allen

Woody Allen takes a complete 180 degree turn and in the process creates one of the best thrillers of the last couple of years. It works so sneakily that while you are working it out in your head you think it couldn't be so simple - yet it is. Audiences have come to expect these days to get twist turns every five minutes and hyper-kinetic plots and so forth that Allen decided to go back to basics and managed to succeed is a miracle. And yes, the so-called twist of this movie isn't even a twist if you think about it (what else was gonna happen?) yet due to Allen's supurb filmmaking me and everyone else in the cinema all managed a gasp and an immediate hand to the mouth function. Wonderful.

7. Look Both Ways, dir. Watt

One of the finest Australian films in quite some time is so great because it's so Australian. It's charms are in the fact that it looks, sounds and acts just like Australia. I loved the fact that the town it is set in is the exact sort of town that I pass all the time when on the train. I loved hearing these characters speak. I just loved it all. The added animation by writer-director Sarah Watt was a bonus treat too. It's about death, fate and mortality, but you walk out of the cinema feeling rejuvinated and that's more than I can ask for.

6. Good Night, and Good Luck., dir. Clooney

What Clooney has constructed here is a movie that is more thrilling than pretty much all Hollywood thrillers, and with twice the skill. Twisting already well documented facts into a taut (it only runs 90minutes) and exciting movie is not an easy thing to do. Add that in with the use of pre-existing footage, black and white, and musical interludes and this could've turned into some bizarre and horrible "Down with the goverment" project, but it's not. It's smart and wonderful. And it looks a treat, too.

5. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, dir. Park and Box

I don't think I stopped laughing once during this movie. It's is so delightfully entertaining like so few movies are these days. It's hilarious send ups of horror movies (the makers of Shrek could take a few pages out of this movie's book - these jokes won't be old in 3 years time) was always endlessly tickling my funny bone (even a mere swinging of a rusty gate in the midnight air had me in chuckles). And then there is the fact that watching this movie was exciting. It was wonderful to watch the animation and the effort that obviously went into everything as opposed to some disposable CGI claptrap (usually from Dreamworks or Fox). Those fingerprints were choice.

4. Pride & Prejudice, dir. Wright

The reason this film is so high is probably due to lowered expectations. I didn't expect to particularly like this movie, let alone to the enthusiastic level that I did. I was shocked. From the very first scene of Keira Knightley's Lizzy traipsing through the mud I was hooked. Every little thing had be fascinated even down to how Lizzy's mother was going to get all that muck and grime out of the hem of Lizzy's dresses. And all of this in a compact and breezy two hours! Bliss.

3. Mysterious Skin, dir. Araki

Again, this is another movie that I didn't expect to like as much as I did. It's sort of weird to say, but I fell in love with the characters of this movie. Despite it's incredible dire subject matter, I really grew fond of them. Once the movie ended I actually didn't want it to. Usually when a movie ends you can tell that it's the end, but with Skin I felt it could've kept going and I wouldn't have minded one single bit. Yes, the movie is startlingly in your face and abrupt but why shouldn't it be? It's weird to say I enjoyed this movie, but I did. I don't particularly like watching paedophelia and rape, but something about this movie put me in a trance where it didn't matter.

2. The New World, dir. Malick

Malick's dream-like re-enactment of the arrival of the British to the shores of Virginia is just absolutely mind-bogglingly beautiful. How does Terrence Malick do it? Is it because he makes movies so infrequently that he needs to get all the images he has stored up in his head out into one picture? How is it that you don't even need the dialogue and you can completely follow it all? I tuned out of the voiceovers at time, even though they were beautifully written prose, and just got swept up in the immages by Emmanuel Lubezki and the haunting score by James Horner featuring Wagner and Mozart amongst others. By the time the stunning finale came around I was close to tears. This movie was astounding.

1. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, dir. LEE

I really don't think there's anything that I can say about this movie that hasn't already been said. So I won't. Just know that it is excellent beyond words.

Now, whenever I can be bothered, I'll start the awards segment. Yay.

[Subject whatever]

Saw Cache and The New World today. I can now start my Best of 2005 awards and such. YAY. One of those two films I absolutely LOVED and it will feature heavily throughout the awards, the other one I also quite liked but won't appear as much unfortunately (lol, cause they care)

I might put some up later tonight even, if I get a chance. I don't need to wake early so I probably will actually. Of course, by the time you guys read this I would've already done so. So... whatever. I'm gonna go watch "The Amazing Race" now.

This Week in Australian Cinemas

I won't be on tomorrow so I'm putting this up tonight. This week we see the very first of the onslaught of big fat Hollywood blockbusters. Umm... goodie! This week alongside that particular "film" Australia gets a whole bunch of 2005 leftovers, some foreign stuff, a couple of docos and after MI3 a record breaking one other film from 2006. Who said Australian movie distribution was a farce? Cause that's so not the case this week... *crickets chirping* Yeah, that's what I thought.



Mission Impossible 3 - Directed by JJ Abrams
No. Thank. You.

The New World - Directed by Terrance Malick
Yay, Australia becomes one of the last countries to get this film for absolutely no reason! I honestly do no understand their thinking when it came to releasing this film? Why not release it earlier in the year when it had SOME form of awards buzz. It would've enticed more people to see it other than the Malick fans, cause we all know Colin Farrell's fans ain't gonna show up. Whatever. It's out now and I can see it and get it out of my system.

Hidden/Caché - Directed by Michael Haneke
Again, it's about bloody time! I just don't understand it. WHY?! What is the point of even releasing it theatrically at all? Just send it to DVD and be done with it. That'd be faster, at least.

In the Mix - Directed by Ron Underwood
However, we're also one of the only countries to get Usher's lead-debut in the form of In the Mix. I can't even find the enthusiasm to critisise the narcisistic poster or mention that this film is #8 on IMDb's Bottom 100. No, I will merely glide over it and hope it chokes on the dust it is sure to accumulate in 2 months time as it sits idly by on a Blockbuster shelf.

Go for Zucker! - Directed by Dani Levy
Eccentric ethnic movies are strangely common these days. And look, here's another one! And in a shocking twist, it's about jews!! *sigh*

Brødre [Brothers] - Directed by Susanne Bier
Nathaniel salivated over this movie, but I can't raise any excitement over it. I'm sure to see it on DVD but it doesn't pique my interest for cinematic viewing. I don't know why exactly I just don't... so sue me.

On a Clear Day - Directed by Gaby Dellal
Oh you have got to be kidding me! A man loses his job so decides to test his spirit (and ultimately his town) by swimming the English Channel. I... I... *shakes head* this is just too much.

Dave Chappelle's Block Party - Directed by Michel Gondry
Hey look! This movie actually looks good. That's a shock. I won't see this at the cinema because, and I know people will hate me for this, but I just have a thing about seeing documentaries at the cinema. I've seen four at a cinema, Bowling For Columbine, Super Size Me, Fahrenheit 9/11 and Spellbound but I just find that in a time when going to the cinema is so expensive, seeing poorly filmed non-fiction on the big screen isn't a high priority. This movie is a bit different though but I doubt it'll be around for long (considering it barely lasted a few weeks in the states, it'll last here about one week) so I won't be able to see it anyway. I will eagerly await this DVD release though if for no other reason than to see The Fugees reunite. Sweet!

In the Shadow of the Palms: Iraq - Directed by Wayne Coles-Janess
An Australian documentary that I don't know anything about. Sure to be harrowing and heartbreaking. Maybe on tv in a few months time when it airs on SBS.

10 Most Controversial Movies of All Time?

According to the Guardian Ultimate Film these are the 10 most controversial films of all time.

1. Salo, or The 120 Days of Sodom (1975)
This was banned in Australia, rerated in 1993 and given an R18+ although I have no idea if it's currently banned or not. IMDb says the R18+ rating was for 1993-1996 with no word since then. I can't say I exactly feel like watching this movie. At least it's relatively short though (under two hours!) Usually these sort of movies go for three hours, only increasing the torturous experience of it all.

2. Natural Born Killers (1994)
This movie wasn't good. Apart from Juliette Lewis that is. It was just annoying, more than anything else. Plus, this tale has been told SO. MANY. TIMES. I didn't particularly need Oliver Stone telling me again while throwing blood in my face thank you very much. Was rated R18+ here, rightfully so. Still doesn't make it good.

3. Crash (1996)
I haven't seen this, but it's on my DVD queue. I don't really know what to expect. Autoerotica? That's not really that hot, y'all. And James Spader doesn't exactly get me more enthused. Crash is rated R18+.

4. The Last Temptation of Christ
Martin Scorsese is five bajillion times the director that Mel Gibson is. And I don't care what you say. Was originally rated R18+ here but has since been rerated to a mere M.

5. The Devils (1970)
One of two titles I'd never heard of before. ...i don't have anything to say.

6. Pretty Baby (1977)
I had only heard of this movie because of Brooke Shields. I have no idea what makes it controversial, mainly cause I don't care. Rated R18+

7. The Birth of a Nation (1915)
I can respect DW Griffith for wanting to make the movies he did but that doesn't mean I a) have to like them or b) think this particularly movie is particularly disgusting. One of the worst sins this movie commits though is being so completely and utterly BORING AS FUCK (sorry). I. Was. So. Bored. In between wanting to throw things at the screen and rolling my eyes at that annoying musical score, I wanted to go to sleep. Doesn't help that this frustrating piece of garbage is three hours long. Why would I want to watch white people attack white people in blackface for three hours (not that I would want to if they were actual african-american actors, but seriously). Ugh. I. HATE. THIS. MOVIE. Go away now plz.

8. Straw Dogs (1971)
I've already made my feelings about this movie heard. Let me repeat. AWFUL. Definite Worst 5 of all time candidate there. Truly astonishingly bad in every aspect. YOU ARE A BAD MOVIE SO STOP THINKING YOU'RE GOOD!!!

9. Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)
LOL!

10. Bandit Queen (1994)
From the director of Elizabeth? Never heard of this one before. And wouldncha know it? I don't particularly care! Whoop!

That was a dumbass list. Sure, they would've been cliched but what about stuff like Pink Flamingos, The Passion of the Christ, Baise Moi, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Deep Throat? Hmmm, whatever. The lesson learned from this list though? All the ones I have seen are absolutely abyssmal!!! yay! I still want to see The Last Temptation of Christ though, 100% for the fact that it's by Scorsese. God, Straw Dogs makes me so angry.

This Week on TV

New Feature! I get the TV guide every Wednesday in the newspaper so I figured I'd do a little feature (both in this form, and to the sidebar) and discuss the various movies that are on TV this week that I want to watch. Australia isn't cablefied as most still only have free-to-air (we get shows like "Six Feet Under", "Sex and the City", "The Sopranos" etc on regular tv) but they still manage to program at least some interesting movies during the week. This week has one that I have wanted to see for aaages. Everytime I go to BigPond (my DVD rental site) I search for it to see if it's coming but it never is. So... yay!

I don't always get a chance to watch the movies but if there's certain ones I really want to see I at least record them to watch later. Some of the films I will mention will just be titles that I have a passing interest in and if I watch them then yay for me, but if not, no biggie.

Friday:
On Friday for some reason Channel 7 have decided to have a mini '80s dance marathon! We get Flashdance (1983) followed directly after by Footloose (1984). I've never seen Flashdance and only seen the start of Footloose. I'd love to see Flashdance because of the song which is a regular feature on my iPod. And Footloose, whose song is much less, well, good, still looks sorta cute and fun. I always thought "Maniac" came from Footloose or something. Hey look! Here's a photo of me from last year, when I went to the snow, doing the maniac dance! I rock.



Saturday:
Today we get Splendor in the Grass (1961)! Ever since Nathaniel swooned (at the bottom of the page) over Warren Beatty and Natalie Wood in this movie I've wanted to see and it appears it will never be released here on DVD (grrr). But I opened up the guide and saw it and I gasped! At last! I finish work at 11.30 that morning so I will easily be able to catch this at 2pm. Yayz for me.

Then late at night (so I will not watch it most likely) there happens to be Tom Jones (1963). This is one of those movies that won Best Picture yet nobody seems to remember it. It's a bit long for a 1960s movie like this (which can be a slog sometimes) but if it's good that's pretty awesome. I always try and catch movies that hit big with Oscar.

Sunday:
Atom Egoyan's Felicia's Journey (1999) and the French documentary To Be and to Have (2002) are on. I doubt I'll catch either of these as they are only curiosities. I didn't really like the only Egoyan movie I've seen to date (The Sweet Hereafter, at the risk of being hit with rocks, it was way too dreary for me. I think I napped at one point). To Be got 4.5/5 in the guide and I'd heard good things when it was released a few years back. Could be good althought children bug me especially annoying cute ones.

Wednesday:
Apparently January Man (1989) starring Kevin Kline, Susan Sarandon, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Harvey Keitel, Rod Steiger and Danny Aiello is absolutely horrendous but also hysterical. So I might give it a go if I have 2 hours to waste on Wednesday night. I always enjoy a good chuckle at seeing normally respectable thesbians embarass themselves in awful dreck. Plus, they'll be wearing hilarious '80s clothing! What's not to like?

Movie Covered Films With a Motion Picture Centre

Watches some movies by classic directors. Yay.

Marnie (1964, dir. Hitchcock)

Pretty good, although clearly not A-Grade Hitchcock. It definitely didn't go in directions that I would have expected from Hitchcock, however, I'm not sure that's a good thing. It was a tad long - some of the middle section needed to be cut. However the opening hour or so with Marnie just going about her business was excellent. Sean Connery sure did used to be pretty, hey? I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. B

The Killing (1956, dir. Kubrick)

Great early film by Stanley Kubrick. Wonderfully working within film-noir and thrillers. It is quite evident even from this film that Kubrick had a way with actors and constructing scenes. My favourite performance was the small role of Shelley as played by Marie Windsor. She was great. Loved the droll use of narration and the very stark black and white photography was wonderful. The only let down would be the ending. Yes, it's quite an ironic ending but I think I would have preferred it to have gone on maybe 10 minutes longer or so (the film runs only 80 minutes) and to have fleshed it out a bit more. But other than that, this was super. A-

Link-mobile

Yeah, just like Nathaniel I don't have anything to discuss today so here's some stuff for y'all to read and enjoy.


The Candymen Can - The Australian newspaper on the new film Candy which stars Abbie Cornish, Heath Ledger, Geoffrey Rush, Noni Hazlehurst and others. Could be good. It's coming to Geelong cinemas apparently (there were brochers the other night) so that's good!

Revealing Role for an Actor - The Sydney Morning Herald on the return of Juliette Binoche. Just in time for Hidden's Australian release. I'm so seeing that on Thursday.

20 Weeks of Summer - Dave Poland don't like Mission Impossible 3. JJ Abrams is annoying as hell. Let's see how long it takes "Lost" to die before we call him a genius okay. "Felicity" was great for 2 seasons, pretty good for one. Shit for the rest. I didn't watch "Alias" but apparently it went to the crapper long before it ended. And, again, I don't watch "Lost" but how can that show keep going after three seasons - hell, from current reports it isn't even "going" right now what with ABC continuously putting in season breaks and the show never seeming to want to tie stuff up (he did that in "Felicity" and from all accounts, "Alias" too). And what? Now he's got a Tom Cruise blockbuster that is being sold as a Tom Cruise blockbuster (not a blockbuster from the creator of Lost or whatever). Right. He's the second coming of Christ while we're at it.

4. When it's time to leave an impregnable building, use lots of automatic weapons and be sure that only the outnumbered good guys will know how to shoot.

God I hate that. Like in Battlefield Earth when apparently the evil aliens (who are NOT affiliated with scientology and/or Xenu) took over our planet in, like, six minutes. Yet during the big action scene towards the end they can't shoot one single solitary man. LAAAME.

I've had my fill with Tom Cruise and Phillip Seymour Hoffman for a while so I won't be seeing M:I-3 (or however it's written). It does have Keri Russell and Michelle Monaghan in it but for the former I can just rewatch The Upside of Anger and that one has the added bonus of HER. *smiles* and the latter? Well, I can pop in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and get a healthy serving of Michelle plus a really great movie. Shame that Mission Impossible 3 will earn more in it's first day than KKBB did in it's entire run. Now THAT is a crime.

(hey look, I managed to think of stuff to say!)

WOW!

I just watched this episode of Six Feet Under (it deserves italics!) titled "The Rainbow of her Reasons" and... wow. I was loving it from the opening credits because it said it guest starred Patricia Clarkson and Kathy Bates (both of whom I love in general, but they're ace on SFU) but it was also directed by none other than Mary Harron - she of American Psycho, I Shot Andy Warhol and The Notorious Bettie Page fame.

I've watched this show from the very first episode and it may just be the inital reaction but I think out of the four and a half seasons that have been aired (we're six episodes from the very end) that tonight's was my favourite. It was perfect. Everything about it was astoundingly good. There was a moment where the women are down in the basement and sing "Calling All Angels" and I had to hold back tears, it was beautiful. And that ending! Just everything about it. Lauren Ambrose getting a temp job and then singing "You Ride Up My Thighs" (i love SFU's musical bits, they're choice). Just... it was all so perfect. Everybody was at the very top of their games, especially Ambrose and Conroy. if Ambrose didn't submit this episode to the Emmy commitee then she's stupid. Wonderful. A+

As if you needed any more proof that Chris Lilley is a genius...

First there was his hilarious drama teacher in "Big Bite" (in an otherwise lame show) then he went solo and created We Can Be Heroes which was genius television. I've discussed it before, Chris Lilly played five characters who were all vying for the Australian of the Year title. There were two CLASSIC characters.


First there was Ricky Wong a Physics student who is also a member of Chinese theatre group who have put on such musicals as, er, The Boy From Oz and has just cast Ricky as the lead in their new musical about Aboriginal Dreamtime which if you think about it is hilarious. A white man playing an Asian man playing an Aboriginal man. Gold.

But then there was Ja'mie (pronounce Ja-may) King. She is a spoiled private school princess who sponsors 80 starving African kids in a Sudanese village because, ya know, doing the 40 Hour Famine once a week helps keep her thin and "totally hot".


I call this one is Smiley because he's got the whitest teeth. This one I call Brown Eyes because of... the brown eyes. This one I call Usher because he's totally hot like Usher.

The scene that I (sort of) quoted above is classic, where she introduces us to her sponsor kids. There's also the 40-year-old that they're passing off as a child so she just covers him up with a scarf. And then she has a board where she marks down every time she receives mail from them and if they don't send her anything in three months she cancels their donations. LOL!!!

Ja'mie is seriously one of the top 5 Aussie tv characters of all time. It's even been voted by people as being so! It's all so hilariously Australian that everyone else would probably be all "!!!!WTF????" and I'd have to reassure them that it is indeed super hilarious. Funnier than anything Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Heder and all of them have done combined. Not that's particularly hard. But I just saw a tv commercial for Benchwarmers and it looks revolting beyond words.

Anyway, so it turns out that for the first time in forever (45 years to be precise) an Australian won a prize at the Rose d'Or awards in Switzerland, which are these prestigious international television awards. Lilly won for Best Male Comedy Performance so way to go! We Can Be Heroes is a classic. Can't wait for his next project, a series based around the drama teacher I mentioned up there.

Another Aussie won too. Kathy Dreyton and Helen Bowden won the Arts and Specials award for their documentary Girl in a Mirror (which strangely doesn't even have an IMDb page). So way to go. First time any Australian has ever won at the awards which I admitted had never heard of before.

Anyway, before I leave maybe you can ogle Ja'mie some more cause she's, like, totally omg hot!



I think everyone's just jealous of her cause she's so hot. But Ja'mie has compassion. She knows it's not their fault they weren't born as hot as she. But it's not like she ASKED to be super hot, she just is. Ya know!

Homework goodness

I'm taking a course at the moment called Professional Writing & Editing and one of the classes is called Non-Fiction Project. By the end of the year we have to have written 10,000 words of a non-fiction book. My project is sort of a guide to Australian film. Like, i'll discuss the film itself, as well as the locations that it was filmed and stuff like that. Anyway, throughout the next however many months I may randomly post drafts of my write-ups. Feel free to comment (I'd encourage it) so I can sort of guage it. We workshop in class, but it's different coming from people who actually watch movies and enjoy reading about them as often as I do and such. Like, I could discuss it in class and people could be all "but do people really care about that?" well I'd have a much better opinion of what people care about coming from you sort of people...? So, yeah, you don't have you comment but if you want to then do so. The bit I'm posting now is a thing about Wolf Creek. So, ya know, enjoy or whatever.

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The horror genre is famous for being infamous. ‘Video Nasties’ from the 1970s and 1980s litter the shelves of video stores. They brought audiences movies with exploitation titles such as I Spit on Your Grave and Let Them Die Slowly along with tonnes of blood and gore. They were popular at the time for being movies that couples would see at drive-in theatres, the girl would get scared and coil into the arms of her horny teenage boyfriend. However, these days the genre is right out there in the multiplex. Wolf Creek came along at a time when Australian cinema was in desperate need of energy. Sure, we had had a steady stream of arthouse hits, but no genre titles had made it big in several years.

Word of Wolf Creek started to spread. Early word suggested it was a throwback to the video nasties, with ample amounts of gore to go along with its pretty teenage stars (Nathan Phillips, Kestie Morassi and Cassandra Magrath). Inspiration came from the trials of Ivan Milat and the Peter Falconio/Joanne Lees mystery of the late 1990s. It received an R18+ rating before then debuted at the number one position at the Australian box-office. It didn’t get a Northern Territory release, however, until after the completion of the Falconio case several weeks later.

Wolf Creek signalled the arrival of a new directorial force in the form of Greg McLean who wrote and directed the film so he could get financial backing for a more expensive film. But in the process he made what will surely go down as one of the definable moments in Australian film history. A moment when audience and industry members alike realised Australia really could make ‘em just as good – if not better – than the rest of the world and that our industry was on the verge of a revival.

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Who in the what now?

Since when did Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris record an album together? Has anyone heard this album? Is it any good? I really liked Knopfler's Shangi-La album and Emmylou is pretty cool althought I don't know much of her stuff.

Thick as Thieves

To Catch a Thief (1955, dir. Hitchcock)

Make that another great film from 1955 that wasn't nominated for Best Picture. Chalk it alongside Rebel Without a Cause, East of Eden (both in my Top 10 of all time to the side there), The Man with the Golden Arm and foreign titles Rififi and Dreams by Bergman. This is a ripping lil who-dunnit isn't it?

I wasn't getting into the flow of this movie at the start. Seemed a bit cartoonish. Not as serious as it should've been but as soon as he got on the boat to Cannes I started getting into the groove and from there on it was gravy. Although it must be said that Cary Grant looked frightfully leatherfaced in this movie. SO brown. Sort of scary. But how absolutely gorgeous is Grace Kelly? She's definitely in the top 3 of most beautiful actresses ever. And what about those locations! Surely this area is one of the most stunning in the world (or, at least it WAS). And those costumes! When they're not at that fancy ball at the end they're walking around in gorgeous summer outfits that are just wonderful.

I totally sussed out who the cat burgler was before the end (in fact it was quite early) but unlike a lot of Hitchcock movies, the greatness here doesn't come from the individual story, which is really quite silly. No, the reason to watch here is all the stuff I said up there. It looks supreme. And then there is the pure and simple fact that when Cary Grant and Grace Kelly are on screen together there is literally magic. THAT is chemistry, folks. How about the scene as Grace drives Cary to a villas and then to a picnic? The dialogue sparks. How did my tv not explode during these moments? A-