Wow, THAT was awful (Part II)

This was completely unintentional, but I have seen two horrendously bad movies in as many days. Yesterday it was that vile create that was Straw Dogs (blech) and today was the not-so-perfect Hilary Duff movie, The Perfect Man. Now, I know what you may be thinking - I had this coming. But me and my two gals saw Raise Your Voice and while it was indeed a steaming pile, it was also hilarious to throw insults at (we even drove to our nearest cinema, purchased movie popcorn, and went back to my place to watch the DVD). But this one... well, Hilary has the destinct honour of starring in (my personal) Worst of 2004 (A Cinderella Story) and of 2005. I thought I was scraping the barrel of not only Hollywood with 2005's Elektra but also arthouse with Oldboy but I still hadn't found THE ONE. A movie so bad I had to give it an F. But tonight I found it.

The Perfect Man is a movie so reprehensible that it's unfathomable. How on earth are we (let alone teenage girls) meant to like Hilary's or Heather (Locklear)'s characters? Hilary's is a self-obsessed bitch who thinks manipulating her friends and family is good as long as she ends up getting what she wants. Her mother (Heather) is also a self-obsessed bitch who is one of the worst mothers I've ever seen in a movie. She starts pathetic relationships with men and then, when they fail, makes her daughters MOVE ACROSS TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY just so she can hook up with a new worthless loser. Great role models, girls! Hilary's character even ruins Chris Noth's character's restaurant just so her mother won't find out that the "perfect man" of the title is actually HILARY DUFF.

It might sound like harmless trifle but... ugh. It's horrible just like A Cinderella Story was. They insult the audience something chronic. Do they really think teenage girls are going to believe this shit? On the very first day of school this random chick with an annoying Brooklyn accent suddenly becomes Hilary's best friend and, seriously, DUMPS the friend she's hanging with to hang with Hilary who is the new girl in school. We never the friend ever again. And, like, it's a Saturday night and this friend doesn't have anything to do? She was dressed like a skanky little thing, I find that hard to believe. Grrr. Hilary Duff is apparently wholesome too? If real girls decide to emulate this creature then I feel sorry for everyone caught in their wicked paths.

Everything about this movie is utterly cring-worthy. I wanted to hit Hilary and Heather. They were so horrifically stupid. And do NOT even get me started on the "adorable little sister". F

The only good thing about it was this man, Ben Feldman (below). He's not exactly the greatest actor in the world but he's pretty cute. His character didn't deserve someone as completely reckless as Hilary's.