No Joke

This is Heath Ledger as The Joker in The Dark Knight, out next year. The article attached says "While it is difficult to tell whether his hair will be classic Joker green," but we've seen on-set pictures of Heath walking around with green hair so it's safe to say he will. But, boy... how about that? That's quite scary, actually. Heath, you terrifying crazy boy.

UMA 2006 Profile: Best Actor

It's getting to the point of the year where I just want to get my yearly awards, The UMAs, over and done with. I figure, there comes a point where I just can't keep waiting to see a movie like Half Nelson (not yet released) or where I just can't be bothered to see virtual non-starters such as Venus until DVD many months away (Best Actor being the only category it would seem to have any play in). I don't ever intend to see Blood Diamond - if I didn't see it before the Oscar telecast, I sure as hell am not going to put myself through it now. The only other conceivable player that I can think of is Ken Watanabe (Letters from Iwo Jima) who I will hopefully get to see before I do my awards.

For now though I thought I'd just go through the candidates. Who's in play for me and who is not. I haven't decided upon a winner yet, but it's a race between several men who give the best work of their careers. To be honest though, a lot of the men in this race gave their best work this year.

Gabriel Byrne in Jindabyne
Byrne is an actor I have never cared for. Not in a Coen Bros. film (Miller's Crossing), not in ridiculous horror movies (Stigmata), and definitely not in that awful sitcom he had (I don't even care about what that hunk of junk was called), so it came as a big fat complete surprise to discover how excellent he was in Jindabyne. I know I shouldn't have been surprised, considering he was being directed by Master Ray Lawrence. Never underestimate the power of Ray Lawrence.

Sasha Baron Cohen in Borat! Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Some may say it's not so much of a performance, but more of a piece of performance art (I've seen very similar things performed in Federation Square on a Sunday arvo), but name me one of those performance artists (talented or not) who managed to get this much out of people. The mark of a great performance lies in an actor's believability, so say people. And, well, the proof of that is in the film. If there was a more believable performance to the people involved (while, admittedly, being unbelievable at the same time, if that makes sense) this year then I must have missed it.

Daniel Craig in Casino Royale
The most sexually masculine performance of the year, that's for sure. But, you know what? There's more to Craig's performance than just sex appeal. Don't get me wrong, it's not up to the dramatic front that several other contenders reached (that's more due to genre limits than because of Craig himself), but what he puts out is so rich and layered that it seems rude to just dismiss it as either a plain ol' action movie performance or, even worse, a James Bond performance.

Leonardo DiCaprio in The Departed
I've always liked DiCaprio. From his first great performance (that would be his Oscar-nominated turn in What's Eating Gilbert Grape) I was sad to watch him flounder in the late 1990s after Titanic, but watching his reassurgance has been a delight. I didn't too much care for Gangs of New York, but DiCaprio's two subsequence Scorsese features have presented us with riches far beyond his promises back in the early 1990s. Oozing masculinity like nobody could have forseen, DiCaprio takes the role of a the cop in deep you-know-what and makes it edgy and exciting.

Aaron Eckhart in Thank You for Smoking
Yes, he's a sleazebag, but a sexy forget-the-buttons-i'll-just-rip-you-shirt-off sleazebag. That I was utterly under Eckhart's spell is a testaent to Eckhart himself and not, I presume, writer/director Jason Reitman. The highest compliment I can pay him is that I'd probably become an even bigger smoker* if I had Eckhart giving me lectures all day about how they're not as bad as the "good guys" say, despite the fact that I know full well how bad they really are.

* Don't look at me like that! I haven't touched the filthy things in over two month, I swear!

Hugh Jackman in The Fountain
My beloved reaches (unexpected, to some) untapped depth and wealth of character in Darren Aronofsky's The Fountain. Jackman is asked to make three seperate characters believable, compelling and emotionally attached. Others have done that, but how many can claim to have done it with three characters stretched over 1000 years? Taking the basic elements of a conquistador, a brain surgeon and a Buddhist space traveller, Jackman tunes into each one with the precission of said surgeon with a scalpal. He knows where to go and does it with a steady hand. The final product is simply amazing. Jackman also gets bonus points for being sublimely smooth in The Prestige.

Shane Jacobson in Kenny
The character of Kenny is one of those that has now instantly gone into the lore of Australian film. The reasons are quite simple. He's a lovable hard-working Aussie battler (the type that we love, apparently, oh so much). But the reason I liked him and the movie itself, was because Jacobson (with the help of co-writer and director, Clayton Jacobson) filled the character of Kenny with just enough good and bad to make him believable and endearing. Kenny is a man just going through life, dealing with things as they come. From the way he tries to charm a lady to the way he unclogs a terribly unappealing portaloo, he's truthful and funny in the best possible way.

Jude Law in Breaking and Entering
Law's character doesn't have any of the factors that helped make many of the other performances this year special. He's not playing a famous person, he doesn't yell alot, he isn't a sci-fi parable, or a sexy charmer. No, he plays an ordinary simple man. His problems seem so small and minute compared to the issues at play in the other films. But why should that be held against him? Law puts in his best-ever work as a man going through a sort-of midlife crisis because (I guess) he's bored and a midlife crisis feels like a good way to go. He is the real threat to take the crown from the more obvious/flashy/popular choices.

Heath Ledger in Candy
After giving the best male performance of the decade so far (in the UMA winning Brokeback Mountain, duh), Ledger continues his fine form playing a drug addict. The film wasn't the greatest, but what Ledger (and co-star Abbie Cornish) brought to the table was the irresistable rock-star meets down-and-out loser look that you associate with these characters. Sure, he's too pretty to be a drug addict (as is Cornish), but you can believe that he thinks he's the greatest (well, until it all turns to the crapper).

Clive Owen in Children of Men
This is a hard one to discuss. It's one of those performances that works in the grand scheme of the movie, yet is hard to define outside of those surroundings. There's nothing that screams with a big neon signs LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!, yet when I think back over it, I can't put a finger to anything that was done wrong. I'm almost keen to say these are the best sort of performances (it works on the same lines as Jude Law's actually) because it's as good as the film that encompasses it and it never tries to be better because the actor knows it doesn't have to be. Am I making sense?

Forest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland
In any other movie Whitaker would be right up there with a chance, but considering I thought The Last King of Scotland was a retched horrible disaster of a manipulation movie, Whitaker is probably going to be an unfortunate casualty. Whitaker was good, but my affection for it is constantly brought back down by my disgust and contempt for the movie. He'd be riveting if everything else around him wasn't being engulfed by the vile flames of hell sprouting up around him.

Patrick Wilson in Little Children and Hard Candy
Two performances with many similarities (men with hidden secrets), yet both equally amazing. You can, scarily I might add, believe how an underage girl could fall for his charms in the revenge fantasy Hard Candy while also believing, not as scarily thankfully, why he would be the drooling fantasy loverboy of suburbia in Little Children. And on neither occasion does Wilson let his leading ladies (Kate Winslet and Ellen Paige respectively) get away with all the best work. He's more than willing to steal some limelight for himself.

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Over the next couple of weeks I'll be doing some more of these. Culminating in the 2006 UMA Awards. But, who knows, when I will actually get around to them. There are certain movies that I feel I must see beforehand and, well, y'all know how those things are.

The AFI Awards: The Highs, The Lows and the Downright Bizarre

So... it was a strange night. There were big winners, and there were big bloody surprises (and not the good kind for the most part).

The Lows
Deborra-Lee Furness losing Best Supporting Actress - Seriously. I just... I... I... *shakes head* It's just wrong. And to Susie Porter, who just minutes before winning this category won a different prize (the one I did predict she'd win). I mean, I understand why (she'd been nominated three times before with no wins), but giving her two statues was just greedy. Deborra-Lee - If you're feeling down, please give me a call (or better yet, let Hugh). Also, read Stinky LuLu's on January 7. I'll give you a nice present. Jindabyne went home empty, quite strangely. I don't really understand why.

The Technical Awards - Not even announcing the winners in some form during the big night. I can understand having them seperated (nobody wants to see them, they just drag it out) but it'd be nice that people know Ten Canoes won an extra three awards or that Macbeth won two or so one.

The Dresses - Not the quality of the dresses - Victoria Hill, Dannii Minogue, Saskia Burmeister all looked stunning - but that's the thing. We didn't see enough of them.

The stage - It was huge yet so freakin' empty. Except for the podium and some weird lighting... things, there was nothing there. So the award girl just had to stand there looking awkward and when Geoffrey Rush wasn't at the podium he too just had to stand in the vacant nothingness.

The production - Poor lighting (way too dark), sitting nominees way too far from the stage (including a woman, who won, who was pregnant), and just a general oddness about the whole affair. Nobody knew what they were doing or where they were going and everyone got lost. It was strange. Plus, whenever they cut to people's reactions it wasn't interesting and was usually of somebody nobody knew.

Gargoyle winning - After Furness, this was the strangest win of the night. I didn't think anybody liked it.

Magda Szubanski - I'm sorry love, the jig is up. When you're outclassed and outjoked by Dannii Minogue you know there's a problem. And it sort of soured a win that Heath Ledger by all accounts should have been proud about.

Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish - The Candy stars... umm... okay, if this is what a Ledger exceptance speech is then maybe it's a good thing he didn't get the Oscar (okay, that will never be true, but you get the drift). So... uninterested and off with the fairies. Although I'll give him credit for pashing Magda and then joking about it later, for his Brokeback Mountain joke ("I just can't seem to get away from this movie") and for, well, showing up. And Abbie Cornish? As Seinfeld once taught us you can't just "acquire" grace and lordy does this girl have no grace. Sorry love, you're a champ but, dear god it's called SMILING ("Smile. ... Don't Smile.")

Those weird interludes - They just kind of popped up out of nowhere. Like at EUROVISION!

David Campbell - I'm sorry, you exist... why?

The Downright Bizarre
Geoffrey Rush - Sometimes he knew what he was doing and at others times he went on weird tangents about cookies and other random things. He did a strange strange job. Can I make a suggestion for next year? Julie Zamiro kthnx.

Johnny Depp - HOLYOHMYGODFREAKINGJESUSCHRISTSONOFGODMOTHERMARY what the fuck was that? Like... that was probably the most surreal moment ever in the history of forever.

The clips - It's as if the producers had no idea what clips to show for certain people so they just showed them STARING AT SOMETHING or SHAKING THEIR BODY AROUND or CRYING AND THEN BREATHING REALLY HEAVY - although, I suppose it would be hard to pick a clip of Teresa Palmer that wasn't a) of her crying or breathing heavily, or b) of her being raped. But, still, for Susie Porter's clip they showed her covering her face as she cried. I did love the delightful inclusion of profanity in the clips though. "Shit" and "Fuck" could be heard everywhere.

Sam Neill - I'm fairly certain he was drunk as a skunk and slurred his way through a Rolf de Heer tribute that was...

Rolf de Heer Tribute - ...so bland you could feel the room falling asleep. Does Sam Neill even like de Heer? And the presentation? One clip from four of his movies (The Tracker, The Old Man Who Read Love Stories, Dance Me To My Song and Bad Boy Bubby) that didn't really show much about him at all. And they didn't even include Ten Canoes? WTF?

Laura Linney and Gabriel Byrne - Hey, you guys nominated them! The least you could've done was applaud. Maybe if they'd bothered to show up... compare that to the applause Ten Canoes and Kenny (especially) received.

Baz Luhrmann and Catherine Martin - Baz was either drunk or still pissed off about that whole Lantana beating Moulin Rouge! thing from 2001. Either way he was strange. And Catherine Martin? Oh sweet baby Jesus. Catherine Martin. Why is it that costume and fashion designers always wear such hideous abominations to big events? And then there's... the walk. I love Catherine Martin (seriously, I want her to design my afterlife) but she is as unglamourous a walker as I've ever seen (and I've seen a few, quite obviously uncomfortable, drag queens in my time). I'm not sure what was going on with that (as my friend Simon called it) upside-down cupcake dress, but she was stomping around something crazy.

Radha Mitchell - She was nominated in the Internation Performance category for Silent Hill. I KNOW!!! Hilarious, right?

THE GOOD
The winners - For the most part, they were good. Yay for Ten Canoes sweeping the pool with six trophies.

That Sony Blu-Ray plug - Rush and Depp used again in a joke, but this time it was funny and not at all my-head-is-gonna-explode-from-my-eyes-bugging-out-of-my-head-so-much...ish?

The Elizabeth sketch - The bit of the night. Stealing a scene from Elizabeth (or was it actually from The Golden Years?) with Rush putting his own dialogue over the top. Geoffrey: "If you don't go to the AFI awards we'll get... Helen Mirren. She's played Queen Elizabeth the First and Queen Elizabeth the Second" Cate: "THAT WHORE!" - i paraphrased that entire thing, but you catch the drift, right?

Daniel Radcliffe - Strangely, he was one of the best presenters.

Er, that's about all. I'll do my roundup of the winners tomorrow, but I predicted all of the four major categories, missed the supporting ones and screenplays, predicted most of the rest. Ten Canoes took out Best Film in the end.

Baz + Nicole - Russell - Heath + Hugh = OMG!

So, after this entry was debunked it seemed that Baz' historic Australian romance epic would be leading man-less for much longer than it turned out to be.


While I am at odds to actually believe anything IMDb throws at us (particular in their people news section), I would be neglegent and remiss to not mention what they are reporting today that, yes indeed, HUGH JACKMAN IS TO STAR.

This makes me much happier than Heath Ledger or Russell Crowe to be honest. Heath just didn't seem like he fit once I got to thinking about it (anything to do with Baz and Nicole results in constant thinking from moi), but Hugh makes more sense. Plus, he's closer in age. Baz (apparently) tells the Hollywood Reporter "'He just continues to astound in terms of his range, whether it's The Boy From Oz or Wolverine. He's always been a leading man, but he is moving toward being an iconic leading man, which is perfect for the story we're doing.'"

So, what do y'all think about this latest development? Yeah, I'm happy! Plus, the fact that it's set in Australia's far-north means Hugh Jackman will have ample opportunity to take his confining heat-trapping clothes off and parade around in as little as possible. :p

Plus, the movie's probably gonna be good too.