Return of the Fame-Sucking Publicity Whore!!!

I've mentioned multiple times on my displeasure with reading about those salivating fame hounds Lance Bass and Reichen whateverhisnameis. They're so transparently desparate for our adulation and peering eyes. And of course Lance came out (to a magazine, of course) just at the same time that Reichen had a book (an autobiography) being released soon after.

Well, now I've read the fabulous stunning news that Lance himself is to pen an autobiography, which amuses me to no end. Apparently he'll write about being a member of N' Sync (even though a quick glance at Wikipedia could tell you all about it) and how his case of keeping himself in the closet from fans was so radically different from all the other cases he read about. Yawn.

On one final note, as you can tell, I am not a fan of Lance, but as a gay man I feel sorry for the dude. Every time People publishes an article about him they use that same sad sorry photo of him (left) with bags under his eyes, pale blotchy skin, ratty facial hair, crooked smile and horrible shirt. That poor man. Everytime he googles himself (y'all know he does) and up pops an article from People he has to be spooked by that awful photo.

The Sham Is Over!

I recently (November 9 to be precise) spoke about one of the worst "celebrity" couples (I really do use the word "celebrity" loosely in this case) in the form ex-N Sync member Lance "I'm Gay! Am I famous again now? PLEASE" Bass and famously non-famous Reichen "GIVE ME YOUR FAME OR I'LL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!!!" Lehmkuhl. It was a relationship that seemed even more of a sham than Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (speaking of them, has she given up on that silly "Call me Kate" thing now?).

Now, it turns out that the desperate farcical charade has ended to the surprise of no one. It was pretty much doomed from the outset. A relationship built around two horribly fame-hungry wankers whose sole existence is to provide publicity for the other, was never gonna work. Maybe there are legitimate reasons for the split: They stopped "loving" each other. The spotlight was more than they realised and couldn't it (Lance came out in July, so it didn't last any longer than one of Lindsay Lohan's dalliances). Lance couldn't handle being "the ugly one" (seriously, check out the picture of him on here and here. I sorta feel bad for him in that respect). But, I predict, it was that Reichen realised that he no longer needed this former star and dumped him. I mean, Reichen's book has been out for a while now so it's obviously sold itself to all the hardcores and the "Trick is way better than Brokeback Mountain" crowd and he figured doing this got him even more publicity that he didn't have to pay for.

And then there's Lance who hadn't been seen clammering into a photo frame for a few weeks now. Whatever is a homo to do? Why, do the stereotypical-queer move and lose the excess baggage. A relationship that lasts four months in the public eye? That's, like, totally one of longest relationships in Hollywood. *roll eyes*

I predict he'll resurrect his ridiculous space idea before trying his hand at the ludicrous television idea mentioned in the article while trying to weasle any party invites he can get out of this (OMG Showdown on the red carpet between Lance and Reichen plz).

Meanwhile, I expect Reichen to become even more of a D-grade celebrity and will appear on at least one more reality television show. He will also continue outing people who used to be famous (they'll be "lanced" for sure!omglol!!!) :/

Maybe some day soon we'll get a high profile gay male couple that a) don't flaut their desperate desire for fame in our faces and b) don't just confirm dated stereotypes (flippy bottom and alpha top, wax, love em and leave em). Why can't there be a male equivelent of Ellen and Portia? Now there is a queer couple that I can champion. You go girls!

Bass is developing an Odd Couple-inspired sitcom pilot with former 'N Sync-er Joey Fatone in which his character will be gay and has a role in the upcoming comedy I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

Doesn't that just sound scary?!

Lance Bass is a dickhead

Ugh. I can't take it anymore! I really hate Lance Bass. At first when he "came out" (aka told us what everyone already suspected, don't deny it) I was happy for him and glad he finally did it and that he actually did it. And then the months progressed and it became blatantly obvious that he only did it so that his boyfriend, aka why-is-he-famous Reichen Lehmkuhl, could pimp his tell-all book. I mean, seriously, I'm all for gay people in the entertainment industry coming out and all, but other than the whole book thing there's the belief in my mind that he also did it for publicity and nothing else. Before he came out how often did you see photos of him? Occasionally he went out to dinner with friends (always including Reichen), but other than that nothing. Nowadays he's everywhere. Hanging around like a bad smell that nobody asked for but that people seem to tolerate because it'd be "insulting" or "un-pc" to tell it to piss off like before.

But now, as part of Lance and Reichen's ever-desperate desire to be famous even longer than they have any deservable right to be, they have tried to - wait for it - invent a phrase! Or, to be exact, a "term" for celebrities who are outed. I read this at IMDb (god bless IMDb People News) and I... I... they've plumbed new depths of disgusting fame-grubbing.

Bass Inspires New Term for Coming Out of the Closet

Former 'N Sync star Lance Bass has inspired a new term for gay celebrities who are outed by members of the media - they're being "lanced." Bass' boyfriend, reality star Reichen Lehmkuhl, says the term was coined after Bass revealed earlier this year that he is gay. Last week former Doogie Howser MD star Neil Patrick Harris was forced to admit he was gay after Internet media reports speculated on his sexuality. Lehmkuhl explains Harris' recent predicament saying, "It's to be outed by someone in the public media and to be a celebrity, and Neil Patrick Harris, I understand, has been 'lanced.'" Bass disclosed his sexuality in July, and said he decided to "speak my mind" because rumors surrounding his sexuality were starting to affect his daily life. He also announced at the time that he was in a stable relationship with Lehmkuhl, a former Air Force captain and winner of season four of CBS' reality competition The Amazing Race. Lehmkuhl adds, "People should be able to come out on their own. I don't know so much that it helps gay equality if a celebrity is outed by someone else and it shows that they're forced out. It just seems like it just continues the vilification of homosexuality in the media in this country."

Go away you desperate wanks. Soon enough you'll be forgotten all over again and you can hide away in the hole you crawled out of for no reason except to bother us with your fame-hungry embarassing antics. Lance isn't even making music to justify his fame! He was known as a singer (and, hilarious for about 2 minutes, an actor) yet in this second incarnation of fame he's just... nothing. He's like an 1950s housewife. Just going to all these business functions with her his husband as support. Smiling and waving and spruking Reichen's book. He doesn't serve a purpose. He doesn't even pretend to have a purpose. He's just there. Like a mosquito.

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OMG, just now as I searched for an image to put in here I found pictures of him dressed as an astronaut! Remember when he randomly decided to go into space for no reason. Just further proof that he's desperate for attention of any sort.