December 5, 2006

The Sham Is Over!

I recently (November 9 to be precise) spoke about one of the worst "celebrity" couples (I really do use the word "celebrity" loosely in this case) in the form ex-N Sync member Lance "I'm Gay! Am I famous again now? PLEASE" Bass and famously non-famous Reichen "GIVE ME YOUR FAME OR I'LL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!!!" Lehmkuhl. It was a relationship that seemed even more of a sham than Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (speaking of them, has she given up on that silly "Call me Kate" thing now?).

Now, it turns out that the desperate farcical charade has ended to the surprise of no one. It was pretty much doomed from the outset. A relationship built around two horribly fame-hungry wankers whose sole existence is to provide publicity for the other, was never gonna work. Maybe there are legitimate reasons for the split: They stopped "loving" each other. The spotlight was more than they realised and couldn't it (Lance came out in July, so it didn't last any longer than one of Lindsay Lohan's dalliances). Lance couldn't handle being "the ugly one" (seriously, check out the picture of him on here and here. I sorta feel bad for him in that respect). But, I predict, it was that Reichen realised that he no longer needed this former star and dumped him. I mean, Reichen's book has been out for a while now so it's obviously sold itself to all the hardcores and the "Trick is way better than Brokeback Mountain" crowd and he figured doing this got him even more publicity that he didn't have to pay for.

And then there's Lance who hadn't been seen clammering into a photo frame for a few weeks now. Whatever is a homo to do? Why, do the stereotypical-queer move and lose the excess baggage. A relationship that lasts four months in the public eye? That's, like, totally one of longest relationships in Hollywood. *roll eyes*

I predict he'll resurrect his ridiculous space idea before trying his hand at the ludicrous television idea mentioned in the article while trying to weasle any party invites he can get out of this (OMG Showdown on the red carpet between Lance and Reichen plz).

Meanwhile, I expect Reichen to become even more of a D-grade celebrity and will appear on at least one more reality television show. He will also continue outing people who used to be famous (they'll be "lanced" for sure!omglol!!!) :/

Maybe some day soon we'll get a high profile gay male couple that a) don't flaut their desperate desire for fame in our faces and b) don't just confirm dated stereotypes (flippy bottom and alpha top, wax, love em and leave em). Why can't there be a male equivelent of Ellen and Portia? Now there is a queer couple that I can champion. You go girls!

Bass is developing an Odd Couple-inspired sitcom pilot with former 'N Sync-er Joey Fatone in which his character will be gay and has a role in the upcoming comedy I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.


Doesn't that just sound scary?!

5 comments:

adam k. said...

Sigh. I want so badly for ME to be one half of that ideal semi-famous guy-guy couple. Maybe in ten years.

Anyway, this just confirms that relationships in the public eye don't last.

But go for Portia and Ellen!

And also, just because Lance isn't as great-looking as Reiken doesn't mean he's "ugly." Though he does make some weird-ass faces (just fyi, the real reason I'm defending his looks is cause I have been told before that I look like Lance Bass).

adam k. said...

Oh and btw, I just saw Marie-Antoinette and posted a review tonight - pretty proud of it, actually.

Have you seen it yet? Or is *Australia just stupid like that? (*the country, not the film ; )

Lucas Dantas said...

Yaaay!! Professional outter, seems like the next decade's celebrity thing, I'll add it to my "things-to-be" list.

Glenn Dunks said...

MA is out on Boxing Day here. Same day as Happy Feet, The Queen, Babel and The Holiday. Ummm... exhaustive much?

Lance Bass isn't ugly in the sense that you recoil in fright when you see him, but in terms of general stereotypes of what makes "hot", Reichen is "hotter" (i don't care for either, tbh). And it seems like he does take a lot of bad paparazzi photos while Reichen always looks freshly shaven, tanned and primped. Reichen sorta weirds me out in that regard. Never a hair out of place.

adam k. said...

wtf is Boxing Day?