The Most Amazing Night In The History of Forever

God, Eurovision was so cool. I mean, it was the same ol' tacky glitter-and-fireworks show as always and there was tonnes of shite music, but it wouldn't be Eurovision without glitter and fireworks and tonnes of shite music.

The biggest victim of shiteness was probably Ireland, which entered possibly the worst song I've ever heard in the history of music. ...okay, maybe not that far, but god, talk about awful. It was called "You Can't Stop The Spring".,It really is as bad as the title suggests. You can view it here if you really want to subject yourself to that sort of torture.

The Bosnia and Herzegovina entry was also a frightful bore. So to was Lithuania's entry over here. Still, anything was better than Lithuania's 2006 entry "We Are The Winners".

But, there were some legitimately good ones out there. My definitely favourite was "The Worrying Kind" by Sweden's entrant The Ark. The Ark are actually a moderately-well known group on the indie/pop scene. If you own the Shortbus soundtrack then you'll certainly be familiar with them. The Ark are pretty great and "The Worrying Kind" was just so fun. It sounds sort of like Edison Lighthouse's "Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)" for a while there, but who cares? That song is delightful. As far as Eurovision goes it's more in the "Waterloo" actually-a-good-song camp than the "Flying The Flag (For You)" campy-camp-camp camp. I've thrown the clip of the performance at the end of the entry. Ola Salo (the lead guy) is such a character. He was a significant part of my #1 single of 2006 as well in the form of "Dream On" by Christian Falk with Robyn and Salo. Also, Swedish pop is pretty much the best music in the world right now.

After Sweden, my favourite was definitely "Visionary Dream" by Sopho, which you can view here. If this were a regular everyday song, and not a Eurovision song, it'd probably be quite popular on the dancefloors. Especially with an even more high octane remix.

There was, of course, the Ukranian drag queen Verka Serduchka (pictures below). She came second with her song "Dancing Lasha Tumbai" and it was really quite bonkers and hilarious. Zeiben! (or whatever). Take a look here. Your eyes may not forgive you but your feet will! I quite enjoyed Hungary's Magdi Rúzsa singing Unsubstantial Blues, which was some retro-tinged jazz torch song. It belongs in a Wim Wenders movie, really. Serebro from Russia were also sort of fun, too.


In between the good (THE ARK) and the bad (ugh, Ireland) there was the typical mediocre slash amazingly ridiculous stuff that Eurovision is known for. Countries like Turkey (belly dancing, big surprise!!!), Belarus ("sexy" man with unbuttoned shirt, bigger surprise!!!), Spain (omg, a boy band!), Germany (Justin Timberlake?), United Kingdom (Scooch = Steps in airline outfits, right?) and all the rest. I mean, they're fun to watch and to have a few laughs at so I'm not complaining. If the entire show was legitimately decent music then where would the fun be? As it stands, Eurovsion is about as good a reflection of music as the Grammies, perhaps moreso. That Spanish boy group was quite ridiculous though, weren't they?


I was a bit disappointed when Scooch (the UK entrant, above) finally scored points towards the end of voting. I was really hoping they'd get "nul points" like Jemini did 4 years ago. They were on nul points for so long and then, I think, Ireland gave them a score. Gross. Still, they came 23rd out of 24 (Ireland did worse with 5 points I believe), and I bet the English people wish they really had chosen Cyndi. Oh Terry Wogan, we know you were only trying your hardest to save the UK from inevitable embarassment. We still have Terry Wogan though. Terry Wogan = The Chief.


As for the winner of the night? It was the Serbian entry Marija Šerifović, which you can view here. The track, "A Prayer", was definitely in my top ten for the night, but unlike previous years (except last year, I hated Finland's entry that won) it wasn't in my top five. Still, good on Europe for picking a torch ballad by a lesbian who sort of looks like Hiro from Heroes (I know, right!?)

All in all, it was a fun night and the Finnish production was tops. Until 2008...

Watch The Ark!!

Oh, Lordi! It's that time again...

EUROVISION!!!

I tell ya, I love Eurovision. Europe has given us many fine things, incredibly good looking people, incredibly good movies and incredibly good food, but the single greatest achievement is that they still manage to put on the three-hour camptacular glitter-fest extravaganza that is Eurovision every year. It's in it's 52nd year and this year takes place in Helsinki, Finland because last year's winner was the Finnish goth-rock entry Lordi.

Also last year was my first, and very long-winded, effort at liveblogging the event, which I won't be doing again this year. I wonder if the opening number will have people dressed as dolphins? I sort of hope so. I wonder how many people will be dressed in white this year? There were a lot of them last year. I also wonder if, bizarrely, Maria Menounos will be hosting this year? I do hope that Sakis Rouvas is back. He was smokin'.


Apparently there are two transgender performers this year. Or, they're just drag queens, actually. The Danish entry is, as is the Ukraine. Remember when Israel had a transexual performer (Dana International) who actually won (you can view that below). I do look forward, every single year to finding out what dreadful scores the UK entrant will receive. They've been doing tragically for a while now (just a few years back they scored 0 points from all of Europe!) This year they have entered a band called Scooch, who are quite terrible, so I'll get plenty of enjoyment from watching them die a slow (and I do mean sloooow) and painful death at the hands of European voters.

Will Cyprus give 10 points to Greece? Of course.

Will someone dress up like a farm animal? Most likely.

Will good taste prevail. NOT ON YOUR LIFE?!

Here's hoping everyone has an awesome time watching Eurovision in their own way (Eurovision parties are ace). Unless you're from America, in which case, pray that it pops up on, like, BBC2 or something in the near future. Below is Dana International's final performance of "Diva" at the 1998 Eurovision. Remember, she used to be a man! Enjoy.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

So I have no real knowledge of why we celebrate St Patrick's Day other than, I guess, Irish people are sorta cool and that we decided to only way to celebrate their place in the world was by getting shitfaced plastered and wearing green a whole lot. Still, it's sort of interesting that Ireland has a day that is recognised throughout the world as theirs. Isn't that sort of crazy? Not even America or England or Kazakhstan has that!

But, naturally, St Patty's Day leads me to think about Ireland and the entertainment arena. The first thing I thought of was the hilarious Simpsons episode where Bart gets drunk on St Patrick's Day and so they ban alcohol and Homer becomes a beer baron. It's a super episode. I wonder if they'll show it on TV tonight before I have to go out? Hmmm. The only other television I can think of relating to Ireland is Father Ted a show I haven't seen in many years, but that I remember enjoying a lot when I was younger. The only episode I remember destinctly (I wonder why...) is when Father Ted himself enters Eurovision and Ireland's judges choose him to represent their country because they can't afford to send a real act. Sort of ironic considering Ireland is the most successful country in Eurovision history with seven wins. I love Eurovision. It's getting around to that time of the year, too!

Of course, there are movies. I have a soft spot for the 1994 kids tale The War of the Buttons. I'm not entirely sure why. It's been ages since I saw it, but I do remember seeing it as a kid. Plus, the poster you see to the right is sort of kooky. Loves it. Another great one, albiet of a much more serious tone, is Peter Mullan's The Magdalene Sisters. This movie got royally shafted throughout the 2003 awards season (did anyone even see it? Look at it's rotten tomatoes page!) It's incredibly well-made and acted and very emotional. I think I shed a tear or two, but I'm not certain on that. And of course there's the Academy Award-nominated In the Name of the Father from Jim Sheridan and starring Daniel Day Lewis and Emma Thompson. That one is all about an IRA bombing and the court case that resulted against the innocents charged. There's the slighted Intermission, which not many people saw. It has Colin Farrell and Cillian Murphy in one of those movies with many different plot strands that all sort of converge at some point. It was actually quite good. I believe in the US this week Ken Loach's The Wind that Shakes the Barley is being released. How festive!

I must point out the Leprechaun films too, even though they're not Irish. The only ones I've seen are the one where the Leprechaun is in Las Vegas, and the one where he's in "the hood". They're incredibly bad films so don't even bother with them.

Two Irish movies I don't like are the Keri Russell dance flick Mad About Mambo, which is just multiple levels of ridiculous, and the Neil Jordan-directed The Butcher Boy. I can't remember what it was about that movie that I disliked so much, but I gave it a really poor grade. I think it had a nuclear bomb in it?

Musically the only acts that wikipedia tells me are popular and that I like on some level are Sinead O'Connor, The Cranberries and Enya. I'm choosing to ignore Westlife, okay. Ugh. Anyway. Sinead is clearly all sorts of awesome. Check out her back catalogue now! Enya is very hit-and-miss. For every one great song she has a bunch of endless songs of her humming over the sounds of a waterfall. So, yeah. The Cranberries were pretty cool in their time, too.

...or there is still Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance (The Irish jig guy, teehee, who caught the Friends reference?) But let's not go there, shall we?

So, er, drink up, greenify and do a jig of some kind. It's totally worth it.