May 23, 2007

Don't Stop The Links

Online music bible PopJustice quite literally has a list of 100 things that aren't as good as Rihanna's new CD. The list of 100 things that Good Girl Gone Bad (which I thought was a bit of alright) is better than includes: "Trees", "The last Rihanna album", "The rare sight of a sheep sprinting across a field and jumping over a small stream", "The sight of a small child throwing themselves on the floor in the supermarket because they are not allowed a Kinder Surprise", "The last Beyonce album", "Seeing someone almost trip over in the street then pretending they meant to do it with some sort of elaborate and completely unconvincing cover-up", "Scotland", "Shower curtains", "Getting quite a good grade for an essay you knocked out in fifty minutes while coming down from a four-day-long drugs binge", "Shelves", "Bathroom radios in the shape of dolphins which don't really get any reception and take three batteries when you only ever have two lying around because you bought a packet of four batteries and EVERYTHING ELSE EVER INVENTED uses two batteries" and "Lampshades". It's pretty much all true. I now love the Ne-Yo duet, which is something I never thought I've ever imagine possible.

Scott over at Scott, To Be Certain has faith in Kelly Clarkson. "Never Again" is really kind of quite dull, but even though the album cover does look sort of like Amy Lee's own private fancy dress party, it is artsy and purdy and, well, let's face it, Kelly is so much better than Amy Lee who isn't exactly where it's at.

The Hollywood Reporter has the nominees for the Key Art Awards. They are the only awards group, as far as I know, that gives out awards for marketings. There are some great posters and trailers nominated. Although why the Devil Wears Prada's trailer wasn't nominated can be explained easily (it's just the opening scene, basically), you also can't deny how effective it was (everyone wanted to see the movie immediately after watching it).

Hmmm. Clearly the winner of the Best Drama Poster category will be Hard Candy because, let's face it, that poster was about as amazing as finding something at the charity op shop for a fiver and then going on Antiques Roadshow and discovering it's actually worth, like, 100 times that much and then you get to do that face that they all do. You know the one. The mix of "wow, who cares if this is a family heirloom, I just made a thousand bucks" and "oh, yes, that's about what I expected."

I share Ja's immense pain: You can locate such pain here, here, here, here and, well for some it's more a pain in their pants, but here too. Kristen is yummy. (please, nobody mention any spoilers though!)

I continue to be a firm believer that Brangelina have been replaced by hideous wax robots (picking up all those adopted babies must have made Ange's arms really skinny, right?). I wish they wouldn't compare Brad to Robert Redford. Cause, seriously.

So, in Box Office Prophets entertaining Monday Morning Quarterback segment they discuss last weekend's quite giant $122mil opening for Shrek the Third (roughly $7mil more than Shrek 2). I ask this: Is this the quietest $100mil ever. Has anyone seen this movie? And if they have, have they even mentioned it. Nobody other than Dave Poland seems to be talking (and it ain't positive). My favourite part of the Quarterback article was this line "I compare Shrek to Pixar as Family Guy is to the Simpsons. The Shrek films appeal directly to the "Oh, I get jokes" crowd." As y'all know I sorta loathe that franchise.

Speaking of Dave Poland, he had lunch with Sarah Polley. As I say in the comments, I'm glad she's apparently done so well behind the camera because her on camera work reached it's nadir (but it wasn't as low as Marcia Gay Harden's, *snicker*).

Adam poses a head-scratcher. I can't for the life of me guess who he's talking about. I'll take a stab at it though... umm... oh! Lisa Scott-Lee?!?! No? Oh... damn. (Don't feel bad for not getting that. Nobody really gets Lisa Scott Lee. Except Lisa Scott Lee, of course.) There's a picture of Lisa to your right. She's knitting with giant needles and a ball of wool that is five sorts of "That's Huge!" Wait, why am I going off onto a Lisa Scott-Lee tangent or all possibly tangents.

And lastly, following on from all my harping about Grindhouse (it still tortures my soul to this very day, teehee) it was with hightened interest that I follow it's Cannes fate. I'd find it incredibly amusing if Death Proof (the now elongated segment of Grindhouse that is competing for the prestigious Palme d'Or) won an award. How about Best Actor for Kurt Russell? Or some wildly inventive special prize created by the jury as a means of, effectly, masturbating all over Quentin Tarantino. Some still don't like it much some apparently had a blast and if this quote is anything to go by (and, with Cannes audiences, you never know what's truthful and what's a big fat lie.)

Judging by the whoops of delight and loud cheering the new version received at its premiere on the Croisette this was a very good idea.

I can only hope it's true and that the Weinsteins and Village Roadshow get the fuck on with releasing these movies. Seriously. NOW.

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