The '80s Broke My Heart

The title will make sense if you read this entry, never you mind. I've enthused about Robbie Williams' Rudebox album before, but for the last few days one of the very best tracks from the album, that would be "The '80s", has routinely been popping up when I put my iPod or iTunes on shuffle. It's weird when that stuff happens (not as weird as when I got five songs in a row about domestic violence, eep). So I've had the song ruminating through my mind a lot. And for no other reason than it's really blood hot outside and I can't be bothered typing much (I got the lyrics from somewhere else but they were wrong so I'm not linking). Enjoy, "The '80s". There are the lyrics, but because you really need to hear the song in order to "get" it, there's some random YouTube clip someone made of shots of Robbie over the song. The song is cheeky and funny and over-the-top and bonkers and sorta sad (hi miscarriage) and I love it to death.

I smoked Consulate and Park Drive
Drank Newcy Brown, learned how to skive
Polo mints to hide my breath from my Mum
Did a little weed 'cause it felt like fun
Did a little speed if my friends had some
Nicked Volkswagon badges, I'm a Beastie Boys son
Me so horny, me so young, and I still get my washing done

Auntie Jo died of cancer, God didn't have an answer
Rhythm was a dancer, any room for a chancer
That's me in the corner, thanks Sir
Wore a Troop track suit, British Nike shoes
Kangol hat like L.L. Cools
Before I was havin' it, havin' it large
They nicked the BMX from out my garage

And I knew it was Tire from off the estate
'Cause every time I see him he smiled like we were mates
From then on in, I'd have to walk to me Nan's
And I'd dream my dreams through a sea of prams
Like a hooligan on the football stands and I threw the V's to Leeds and West Ham
And then I ran, I ran so far away
Down Scotia Road to a taxi bay
Then I ran again 'cause I couldn't pay
Young Muslim didn't get his fare that day
I apologise today

Things look better when they start
That's how the 80's broke my heart

And who are you calling poof?
You like Wham, man
I hate that stuff
And then my Granddad died and left a hole in the family
And lots of women there to nanny me

School was a laugh, they didn't have ADD
Thick was the term they used for me
Over and over, repeatedly, over and over
Take my breathe away, pass the bidley bidley bidley bidley bong
Pass it on the left hand side
Right turn, Clyde

That girl in the fourth year got pregnant
She was raised Catholic, brilliant
I cried, she cried, we cried
A youth died

Drank cider in the cemetery
The year above us had discovered 'E'
And I said it weren't for me
Twelve pounds fifty
I could rob my mum's purse and buy one off Chalky

Met a girl on Monday, drank fizzy pop on Tuesday
Fingered her on Wednesday, and on Thursday and Friday, and on Saturday
Dumped by Sunday

Things look better when they start
That's how the 80's broke my heart
The wonder years I've played my part
That's how the 80's broke my heart

I lost my virginity to a girl called Anne-Marie
Well, she said she fancied me
And then she said "Fuck me" and I thought "fuck me"
I'm all talk and it'll be over too quickly
And it was but I couldn't care less
I'd seen a girl's paw, made a mess on her dress
Oh yes, you're now rocking with the best
Second person in my year that had seen a breast

I'm in my 30s now and I'm still impressed
Why the Falklands Mum? and what have they done?
Where do girls come? Where do girls come from? Where do girls come from?
It's the 80's what you looking at, you mong
So young, so long, so young, so long
Too short, so long
What you looking at, you mong
Too short, so long, too short, so long
So long

Wow, It's true what they've been saying... Part II

Robbie Williams has lost his freakin' mind. But, as y'all know, I love it. I wish more mainstream multiplatinum artists were this insane. I mean, dressing in drag and giving a psychological profile? Performing "She's Madonna" to a room full of drag queens? The whole thing is actually sorta twilight-zonish. Dark and atmospheric. It's really great. Plus, the song is tops. But, wow, it's so amazing watching Robbie's career go all over the place. He's officially losing his mind. He'll probably get M Night Shyamalan to direct to his next video (please please please let it be "The Actor" or "Kiss Me").

The Best {and worst} of 2006 - Music Edition

So, I'm nowhere near being able to do a film roundup for 2006 (although I'm gonna do an Australian film edition soon cause I actually can do that), so I figured I'd do a music one. There was some really great stuff this year. There was also some really bad stuff. I've decided to do some fun categories too (Best Cameo!) so let's proceed. (I must say though, that I obviously haven't heard every album released this year, so it's not exactly a science here - I'm also probably missing a bunch from the start of the year).

edit: Wait, was Wolfmother's album released in 2006 or 2005. I hope it was 2005 because then I don't have to go through and change everything. Ugh.

TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2006
Honourable Mentions: All Saints (Studio 1), Pink (I'm Not Dead), Shiny Toy Guns (We Are Pilots), Indie.Arie (Testimony Vol. 1: Life and Relationships), Regina Spektor (Begin to Hope), Sugardaddy (It's Good to Get High With the Wife), Snow Patrol (Eyes Open), The Killers (Sam's Town - somebody's been listening to Bruce Springsteen), Jamelia (Walk With Me)


10. Muse - Black Holes and Revelations
Bombastic and loud, with mixes of electronica thrown in.
Favourite Track: "Take a Bow"


9. Scissor Sisters - Ta-dah
Uber-fun and light as a feather with a dark edge, but not as great as their first - that would have been damn hard. Here's hoping their next is as radical as the first.
Favourite Track: "Paul McCartney"


8. Sarah Blasko - What the Sea Wants, The Sea Will Have
Contender for most likely to rise as time goes by. Ethereal and beautiful. Like the Scissor Sisters, it can't match her previous album which was a masterpiece, but it's damn good nevertheless.
Favourite Track: "{explain}"


7. Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
Slick, but also sweaty and dirty, just like dance music should be. It wasn't the revolutionary never-heard-before sound that Justin promised, but it was a great album. The first five tracks are just stunning.
Favourite Track: "FutureSex/LoveSound"


6. Nelly Furtado - Loose
I never thought I'd use the term "effervescent" for an album, but this is it. Nelly's "Folklore" is in the top 5 albums of the last decade, so it impossible to beat, but at least she didn't embarass herself (hi Jewel!) and she managed to keep her cultural backbone.
Favourite Track: "Maneater"


5. Christina Aguilera - Back to Basics
I liked this album more when it mixed Aguilera's big giant voice with the sounds of the carnival, but the entire thing is a great platform for Aguilera to strut her stuff like nobody else is doing at the moment.
Favourite Track: "Welcome" / "Hurt" (It's my belief that these two should be merged into one triumphant collosal marvel)


4. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
Bigger and better than "Fever to Tell", this album raises the room and lets the insane asylum loose.
Favourite Track: "Cheated Hearts"


3. Pet Shop Boys - Fundamental
Their best album since 1987's Actually, so this was an exciting listen. Eclectic and sonically interesting, but also brilliant with trademark wit.
Favourite Track: "I'm With Stupid"


2. Dixie Chicks - Taking the Long Way
How do you get back at the braindead morons who slagged you off and threatened to kill you and who burnt piles of your albums? By making one of the gosh darn best albums of the year - that's how! Lyrically honest and musically diverse. Stunning.
Favourite Track: "Not Ready to Make Nice" or "The Long Way Around"


1. Robbie Williams - Rudebox
Probably the year's most polarising album is my #1. For an album with 16 tracks there is very little "bad" (and the worst is a bonus track!) It's Robbie as we've never heard him and he sounds rejuvenated as if he knows he's making something he wants to make and doesn't give two hoots about what all the horny girls who bought his other albums think. Shockingly simple in ideas, but complex in performance - Rudebox is Robbie's best work ever and all those who got their panties in a twist over his new direction can go masturbate to post-Robbie Take That - now there is an artist who are stagnant in musical direction.
Favourite Track: "Kiss Me" or "We're the Pet Shop Boys"

Honourary Placement: Best Ofs!
For a change this Christmas we actually got some decent best ofs. The two finest singles acts of this decade so far, Sugababes and Girls Aloud, released singles collections and if I allowed them onto my Top 10 they'd be tied for #1 alongside George Michael's TwentyFive, which included George's Wham! days. How awesome is that? There were some others, but those were the main three (U2's 18 Singles was a joke though, in all honesty)

BEST ALBUM THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE BAD
All Saints - Studio 1
Cassie - Cassie
Indie.Arie - Testimony, Vol. 1 - Life and Relationships
LeToya - LeToya
Paris - Paris

WINNER: All Saints - Studio 1

BEST CAMEO IN A SONG
Akon - "I Am Not My Hair" by Indie.Arie
Erykah Badu - "That Heat" by Sergio Mendes and Will.i.Am
Liza Minnelli - "Mama" by My Chemical Romance
T.I. - "My Love" by Justin Timberlake
Timbaland - "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado

WINNER: Liza Minnelli - "Mama" by My Chemical Romance

BEST PERFORMANCE BY A SINGER ON A DANCE TRACK BY ANOTHER ARTIST
Debbie Harry - "New York, New York" by Moby
Brittany Murphy - "Faster Kill Pussycat" by Paul Oakenfold
Shena - "Friday Night" by Sex Machine
Barbra Streisand - "STFU"
Katie Underwood - "Get Together" by T-Funk

WINNER: Debbie Harry - "New York, New York" by Moby

BEST CONCERT ALBUM: Pet Shop Boys - Concrete: Live at the Mermaid Theatre


BEST SOUNDTRACK
The Devil Wears Prada
Happy Feet
Marie Antoinette
Miami Vice
A Prairie Home Companion

WINNER: Marie Antoinette



BEST COMPILATION ALBUM
(excludes film soundtracks)
100% PopJustice
Late Night Tales: Air
Ministry of Sound: The 2007 Annual
Ministry of Sound: Wild Weekends
She Will Have Her Way: The Songs of Tim and Neil Finn

WINNER: Late Night Tales: Air

BEST SINGLE FROM A BAD ALBUM
Christina Milian - "Twisted"
Evanescence - "Call Me When You're Sober"
JoJo - "Too Little Too Late"
Paul Oakenfold feat. Brittany Murphy - "Faster Kill Pussycat"
Rihanna - "SOS"
Take That - "Patience"

WINNER: Rihanna - "SOS"

BEST SINGLE FROM A 2005 ALBUM
Madonna - "Get Together"
Madonna - "Sorry"
Rogue Traders - "In Love Again"
Sugababes - "Red Dress"
The Veronicas - "Everything I'm Not"

WINNER: Madonna - "Get Together"

BEST ALBUM COVER
Lily Allen - Alright, Still
Sarah Blasko - What the Sea Wants, The Sea Will Have
Concord Dawn - Chaos By Design
Panic! At the Disco - A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds

WINNER: Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds

WORST ALBUM COVER
All Saints - Studio 1
Beyonce - B'Day
Gwen Stefani - The Sweet Escape
Cradlebait JoJo - The High Road
Sugababes - Overloaded: The Singles Collection

Winner: {tie}
Beyonce - B'Day
Gwen - The Sweet Escape

MOST DISAPPOINTING ALBUM
Basement Jaxx - Crazy Itch Radio
Beyonce - B'Day
Paulini - Superwoman
Rihanna - A Girl Like Me
Gwen Stefani - The Sweet Escape
(I would nominate Janet Jackson's 20-YO but I fail to be merely disappointed anymore cause I don't expect anything)

WINNER: Basement Jaxx - Crazy Itch Radio

WORST SINGLE CHOICE
(not necessary worst single in general, just the ones that boggle my mind that they were released over other tracks)
Beyonce - "Deja Vu"
Pink - "Nobody Knows"
Robbie Williams - "Rudebox"
Rogue Traders - "We're Coming Home"
Gwen Stefani - "Wind it Up"

WINNER: Beyonce - "Deja Vu"
("Deja Vu" also takes the prize for Worst Video)

WORST SINGLE
(excluding stuff like David Hasslehoff and Crazy Frog, which aren't technically even songs in my mind)
Akon - "Lonely"
Beyonce - "Deja Vu"
JoJo - "How To Touch A Girl"
Lady Sovereign - "Hoodie"
Shannon Noll & Natalie Bassingthwaite - "Don't Give Up"
Nickelback - "Far Away" or Whatever other song they released this year
Katie Price & Peter Andre - "A Whole New World"
Sandi Thom - "I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Flowers in My Hair)"
Shakira - "Hips Don't Lie"

WINNER: EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM!!!!

WORST ALBUM
(I didn't listen to the entire albums by Nickelback, Ciara, Thom or Noll not to mention K.Fed, Jessica, etc)
JoJo - The High Road
Christina Milian - So Amazin'
Evanescence - The Open Door
Paul Oakenfold - A Lively Mind
Sean Paul - The Trinity

WINNER: JoJo - The High Road

Here is where I gotta say something though. Paul Oakenfold's album is a disaster of epic proportions so I really wanted to give it this prize. Just truly bad in every single area apart from one song ("Faster Kill Pussycat"). Not a smidge of redeemability anywhere. BUT I need to discuss JoJo's album. It was worrysome. I was really quite disturbed by her album The High Road. JoJo is fifteen years old yet she's singing songs such as "The Way You Do Me" (lyric: "Why you gotta be so good when you give it to me"), "I Can Take You There" and the worst-of-the-worst "How to Touch a Girl". I'd be less scared if she then didn't put on a song called "Note to God" where she thanks God for all her good graces and how swell her life is. This girl disgusts and repulses me. She's a filthy little paedophile target if ever I saw one. If it weren't for "Too Little Too Late" and a left-field sample of Toto's "Africa" The High Road would indeed be a contender for worst album ever made.

WORST MUSICAL MOMENT OF THE YEAR
Hearing Beyonce's "Deja Vu" for the first time and almost instantly thinking she has lost all musical talent.
Listening to the 15-year-old JoJo sing "The Way You Do Me" and "How To Touch a Girl".
Madonna deciding not to tour Australia.
Nickelback, just cause.
Sandi Thom's "I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker..." staying at #1 for over 10 weeks.

WINNER: {tie}
Madonna for being a selfish lying filthy bitch and I hope that she's satisfied with breaking promises to her fans. I still love her though. It's alright for me to call her a selfish lying filthy backstabbing bitch. Oh, I just threw in "backstabbing" then cause I just thought of it.

And, ya know, the whole JoJo debacle.

WORST "ARTIST"
Akon
Ciara
JoJo
Nickelback
Sandi Thom

WINNER: Nickelback... still

As much as I hated JoJo, Nickelback are just a steaming pile of, pardon me, horse shit. As a reward, I thought I'd give Nickelback an honourary award for their efforts:

WORST BAND IN THE HISTORY OF MUSIC!!!!!

Way to go, guys! You deserved it!

BEST NET-ONLY SONG
Siobhan Donaghy - "Ghosts"
Belinda Emmett - "Less Than Perfect"
Kelly Rowland feat. Yung Texas - "In Love Wit My Ex"
Revolucian - "STFU"
Tracey Thorn - "It's All True"

WINNER: Siobhan Donaghy - "Ghosts"

FAVOURITE REMIX
Beyonce - "Ring the Alarm [Freemason's Mix]"
Madonna - "Sorry [Pet Shop Boys Maxi-Mix]"
Madonna vs Gwen Stefani - "What You Hung Up For"
Christian Falk feat. Robyn & Ola Salo - "Dream On [Supreme Court Remix]
Rogue Traders - "Voodoo Child [Tom Neville Remix]"

WINNER:
Beyonce - "Ring the Alarm [Freemason's Mix]"

BEST AUSTRALIAN RELEASE
Augie March - "One Crowded Hour"
Sarah Blasko - What the Sea Wants, The Sea Will Have
Monique Brumby - "Daisy Chain"
Josh Pyke - Feeding the Wolves
Sneaky Sound System - "I Love It"

WINNER: Sarah Blasko - What the Sea Wants, The Sea Will Have


BEST NEW ARTIST
Gnarls Barkley
Joan as Policewoman
Josh Pyke
Shiny Toy Guns
Sugardaddy

WINNER: Shiny Toy Guns



BEST VIDEO
Christina Aguilera - "Hurt"
Sarah Blasko - "{explain}"
Fergie - "Fergalicious"
Scissor Sisters - "Land of a Thousand Words"
Justin Timberlake - "SexyBack"

WINNER: Fergie - "Fergalicious"



Honourary Mention: Beyonce - Irreplacable
The video isn't that remarkable, but at least it's a video that's relevant to the song, unlike "Deja Vu", which was just Beyonce convulsing around the planet in ugly outfits. But I love the "Irreplacable" clip because after kicking her cheating lover's arse to the curb and after putting her hair in curlers and after filing her nails a lot she then suddenly joins a girl band. But not just any girl back - the biggest girl band in the history of music. Take a look at the clip. At the end she's singing her song along with a band that consists of a drummer, an electronic drummer, an acoustic guitarist, two electric guitarists, a keyboard player, two saxophone players, a tamborine player and some backup singers despite "Irreplacable" needing none of them. It's sort of the funniest video clip of the year and for that it gets this honourary award.

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Christina Aguilera - For the album Back to Basics and her collaboration with P. Diddy "Tell Me"
Nelly Furtado - For her album Loose and her version of Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy"
Pet Shop Boys - For the album Fundamental, the live album Concrete and remixes for Madonna
Justin Timberlake - For the album FutureSex/LoveSounds and (it must be acknowledged) "Dick in a Box"
Robbie Williams - For the album Rudebox and performing "Jealousy" on the Pet Shop Boys' Concrete

WINNER: Pet Shop Boys

And lastly...

TOP 35 SINGLES OF THE YEAR
(I deemed album tracks inneligible as well as remixes and such, Beyonce's "Ring the Alarm [Freemason's Mix]" would probably be top 5 otherwise)

35. Camera Obscura - "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken"
34. Moby feat. Debbie Harry - "New York, New York"
33. Justin Timberlake feat. TI - "My Love"
32. Pet Shop Boys - "Integral"
31. Monique Brumby - "Daisy Chain"
30. The Killers - "When You Were Young"

29. Peter, Bjorn and John - "Young Folks"
28. Regina Spektor - "Samson"
27. Shiny Toy Guns - "Rainy Monday"

-The best song in donkey's years about thinking you're over someone when you're really not.

26. Gnarls Barkley - "Smiley Faces"
25. Robyn - "Who's That Girl?"

-Was technically a 2005 release, but it was only released to western counties in 2006, so it places. Plus, it's too good to not put on there.

24. Paris Hilton - "I Want You"

-Sampling Grease was the best thing somebody ever did for Paris

23. Gnarls Barkley - "Crazy"
22. Sarah Blasko - "{explain}"
21. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Cheated Hearts"
20. Rihanna - "SOS"

-For a brief moment in 2006 Rihanna was beyond excellent. And then she released the second single and all went back to it's rightful place.

19. Fergie - "Fergalicious"

-Sampling JJ Fad's ace "Supersonic" (or merely stealing it) was probably the best thing Fergie's ever done.

18. Joan As Policewoman - "Eternal Flame"
17. Josh Pyke - "Memories & Dust"

-When I was a hatchling... this song just makes me so happy.

16. Christina Aguilera - "Hurt"
15. Girls Aloud - "Something Kinda Ooh"

-Overtaking the Sugababes as the best pop group out there.

14. Muse - "Take a Bow"
13. Justin Timberlake - "SexyBack"

-Subsersive pop/dance/funk that's equal parts brilliance and absurdity - which makes it ever better than it has a right to be.

12. Sugababes - "Red Dress"

-Girls Aloud stole their crown, but they had the better single in 2006. This was from their "Taller in More Ways" album though. As I already mentioned, the single from their end of year Best Of was sorta blah.

11. Pet Shop Boys - "I'm With Stupid"

-A love story for the ages (Bush + Blair) turned into a brilliant dance track. The album was their best in nearly 2 decades, too.

10. Beyonce - "Irreplacable"

-After the dire near career-halting "Deja Vu" she countered with this stunner and gained credibility and album sales. And, for a change, she didn't feel the need to rope in some ubiquitous rapper for a cameo.

9. Madonna - "Sorry"

-More brilliant pop from the woman whose job it is to make brilliant pop. The remixes were almost as good as the original, too.

8. Snow Patrol feat. Martha Wainwright - "Set the Fire to the Third Bar"
7. Jamelia - "Beware of the Dog"

-Oh Jamelia. You made a stunning pop song (sampling Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus") and nobody noticed except those who actually like pop music.

6. Pink - "U + UR Hand"

-Silly title-spelling aside, the track was a definite WOW moment. Pink will probably never better herself. Although it's kind of an awkward song to sing along to if you're around other people.

5. Dixie Chicks - "Not Ready to Make Nice"
4. Madonna - "Get Together"
3. Amy Winehouse - "Rehab"

-I only heard this song for the first time last week and it's already #3, so take that as you will, but know this... the song is phenomenal and if there was any god in the music world, it would be #1 for months on end. "They tried to make me go to rehab/I said 'No! No! No!'"

2. Nelly Furtado - "Maneater" [Album Version]

-ALBUM VERSION!!!! Let's not confuse the album and the radio/tv version. The latter castrates the end of the song by getting rid of the killer club moment when the volume goes all the way down and then slowly climbs back up before going into the big finale. The only minor quibble? Since I first heard it I always thought it'd be better if at the end she changed the lyrics to "You'll wish you never ever met me at all" cause that'd be nifty.

1. Christian Falk feat. Robyn & Ola Salo - "Dream On"
-The most soul-lifting life-affirming and passionate song of the year came in the form of this dance track. It just makes me feel good while also making me wanna dance at the same time. It's amazing. And if this wasn't enough the Supreme Court Remix would be a worthy #1 too.

That's it folks. I could do more, but I can't be buggared.

I'm totally Strasberg

Robbie Williams
"The Actor"

italics denote the female reply in song.

VERSE ONE:
First you can't act, now you can't stop,
What's my motivation?
I used to like you... a lot,
I was the class nerd
Exactly who I'm s'posed to be,
I'm totally Strasberg
You play a doctor on TV,
What you're doing is SO brave

VERSE TWO:
Deep down you're dirty but you try,
I'm a good person
The truth would break you so you lie,
I want my work to matter
It's in the choices that you make,
I want to inspire
No talent, just fate.

CHORUS:
I don't know where you begin,
I end, we start
Again,
They need, you love,
We all watch
The Actor Acting.

VERSE THREE:
Good from far but far from good,
All I have is my instinct
You love to act, I wish you would,
It's not acting, it's re-acting
Act like you're not from out of space,
When I'm on stage I feel alive
You know ambition isn't grace,
For me it's the craft

VERSE FOUR:
Made of Sex, Maida Vale,
Would I do better in New York
You are the Alpha Male,
I'm just too pretty for that role
You are the good, you are the great,
The words have power
Now let me fill you with my hate.

(CHORUS)

MIDDLE 8:
Monroe,
Monroe
Barrymore,
Barrymore
Mansfield,
MANSFIELD
D-d-d-d-Dame d-Dame d-Dame Judi Dench,
Judi Dench
Madonna Ritchie,
Ritchie
Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie.
Streep,
Close,
Hepburn,
Burt Reynolds.
Niven,
Danson,
Bundy,
BARDOT.
Joaquin,
Joaquin,
Joaquin,
Joaquin,
Joaquin,
Joaquin
Joaquin,
Joaquin
Joaquin,
Joaquin
SWANK.

(CHORUS)

OUTRO SPEECH:
In the future,
Everybody will be anonymous for fifteen minutes,
You are, we all are a test card,
The stars of CCTV,
We ARE the nature of the beast.

I'm sorry for all this Robbie-love, but jesus this is a good album. "The Actor" is one of the standouts. The number of actors who has said "I want my work to matter" or "for me it's the craft" or "I was the class nerd" (sorry, I do not believe Jessica Alba or Jennifer Lopez were ever nerds) is funny. The female reply is great. How great is the line "You love to act, I wish you would" Robbie is so cheeky. And he even gets his own "Vogue" moment!

[SRC]

I love this movie already

Sorry bout lack of updates, but I've been a tad busy. The end of school is rearing it's head so assignments must be completed. Plus, I worked yesterday and all day today and then there's just the general feeling of not having anything to say.

So... yeah. I dunno. I can't stop listening to "We're The Pet Shop Boys" and "The 80s" from Robbie's Rudebox album. That and "The Crying Game" by Boy George. God, that song is brilliant. Well, that version of the song anyway.

Say Wha...?

How on Earth did Robbie Williams manage to create one of the year's best albums in the form of Rudebox? I mean... what? It's truly one of the the most bizarre albums I've heard in a long time. I'm fairly certain it was conceived in a haze of pot and booze. But, man, at times it's fuckin' brilliant. I mean, sure it has it's head scratching moments ("Dickhead" most prominantly), but when it's great it bloody well soars. Even the song "Rudebox" seems better in context of the album. My favourite at the moment is probably "The '80s", a hilarious Streets-rip off detailing every moment of Robbie's life in the 1980s, and Robbie's cover of My Robot Friend's "We're The Pet Shop Boys" (delightfully producers by, er, The Pet Shop Boys), and "Kiss Me" a sky-high pop dance moment that reeks of Madonna (she is all over this record. She's namechecked in three songs). "Good Doctor" is some strange car accident of about seven different genres, but it (like a car accident) fascinating. "Keep On" is vaguely racist I think, but is also sort of stupendously hilarious. "The Actor" is smooth and manages to named check Judi Dench, Madonna, Joaquin Phoenix AND John Barrymore in the space of 30 seconds. "The '90s" is about as close to a traditional Robbie song as you get and even then it's at the same time nothing like traditional Robbie. "Viva Life on Mars" is country-infused pop. He even manages to fit in a cover of Human League's "Louise" (a very identical cover too).

Seriously, one of the craziest most bizarre and out right strange albums by a high profile artist. But for that he gets big points. He actually came through with his threat of changing musical direction (you hear me Mr Timberlake!). It's definitely not an album for everybody (I'm not exactly sure who it is an album for), but it's the most gleefully ridiculous album of the year and that's a hell of a better than what 98% of mainstream pop artists are doing right now. And you gotta give him credit for not simply jumping into bed with Timbaland or Will.i.Am to produce an album and instead chose producers like William Orbit and the Pet Shop Boys to give him something altogether new. God, this album has done my head in.