Glenn Presents 21 Not-Quite-Reviews

Yeah, I've been watching a lot of movies these last few weeks and I've barely haven't mentioned any of them except the theatrical ones (and they weren't anything to get really excited about). I've been a movie-watching mood lately (the biproduct of having limited work hours, hence plenty of spare time, grrr), thing is, my Quickflix membership is only for two DVDs at a time so I've been watching a lot of movies I have already seen because I've found myself in the mood to watch them (so, a lot of these "reviews" are very positive).

"Sister Act followed by Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit? I say... WHY NOT?!"

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, 1962, dir. Aldrich
This camp classic didn't disappoint. It's utterly bonkers, but I really liked it. Bette Davis was a true champ as the title character (well, I guess) but I also thought Joan Crawford as her disabled put-upon sister was terribly too as well (even though nobody ever seems to mention her). It was a tad too long I think, but it's great and I can't help thinking what audiences must have made of Baby Jane during it's release in the '60s. B+

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, 1966, dir. Nichols
This was a movie I had been wanting to see for eons and I loved it. I have a weakness for movies that have a great use of dialogue and language (I've studied it enough, thank you) - that was part of the reason I loved last year's Jindabyne so much, the way it used it's words. Elizabeth Taylor was amazing and it's weird thinking this was Mike Nichols' first film. Crazy, right? A

Rosemary's Baby, 1968, dir. Polanski
Holy Jesus! This was so scary. Mia Farrow was just as amazing as I had been lead to believe. But... aaagh! Scary. A

Idioterne, 1999, dir. von Trier
I briefly mentioned this in passing a while ago by saying "I don't think I liked it" (or something to that effect), and with a while between now and my initial viewing I can confirm that it's easily the lesser of the von Trier films that I have seen. There were great moments and the performances for the most part are spot on, but I just don't think the story was strong enough (obviously a limitation of the Dogme 95 restrictions). Doesn't help that it's an incredibly unsettling topic, but that was entirely Von Trier's intention I know, still doesn't mean I have to like it. C+

Double Indemnity, 1944, dir Wilder
I finally got to see this movie and it's been a long time coming. Y'all all know that this movie is amazing and is a classic so there's no point discussing it. A

Zodiac, 2007, dir. Fincher
This one has continued to ruminate in my mind about a whole month after I saw it. I quite liked it at the time, but was unsure - I had issues. But mostly those issues have been thrown away, because what's on the screen is so strong. I wouldn't consider it my favourite Fincher film, but I would place it right in the middle of his five films (1. Seven, 2. Panic Room, 3. Zodiac, 4. The Game, 5. Fight Club - I'm not a fan of Fight Club). Visually it's stunning and the performances are all top notch. I wish there was a little more to do with the puzzles and such (I love that shit), but it's still a great little movie. B+

Priest, 1994, dir. Bird
I have a weakness for these small British films that deal with GLBT themes. They're made on the cheap, and they look it too, but I think that gives them an intimate rawness. I'd rather watch something like this than a silly bright and shiny American queer film, that's for sure. I dunno. It was good. Raised good questions and ones that are still being dealth with in a rather passive way today. B

The Children's Hour, 1961, dir. Wyler
A smart and moving film about how rumours can destroy. Sure, Audrey Hepburn's character reads as homophobic as the naysaying townmembers, but that's a biproduct of the time it was filmed in and I can't hold it against the film. What is it with lesbians on film and that desire to kill themselves? Crazy. A-

Bus Stop, 1956, dir. Logan
I liked this Marilyn Monroe vehicle and I thought Monroe was excellent in it (her desperate "Oh no!"s were a hoot), definitely right up there with her best performances - I have The Misfits at the top of my DVD queue, and that's apparently her very best so I can't wait. I wasn't a fan of Don Murray, who was subsequently the film's only Oscar nod, but that's because his character was so unlikable. Still, Monroe is great. B

Naked Lunch, 1991, dir. Cronenberg
This is only the third Cronenberg film I've ever seen - after The Fly and A History of Violence - and I guess I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Definitely far out and bonkers and I'm not entirely sure I understand it all (I didn't know anything about the film or the novel it's based on), but as a purely visual experience it's pretty hard to beat. I'm willing to dive into Cronenberg territory, with Videodrome, Crash, Scanners, Dead Ringers, eXistenZ and The Brood on my DVD queue. B

The Hills Have Eyes Part II, 1985, dir. Craven
As I mentioned the other day the movie is sort of blah but THE DOG HAS A FLASHBACK. Hence, it's the greatest movie ever. Or, not really. C+

Material Girls, 2006, dir. Coolidge
Oh god. This wasn't even fun to pay out like other Duffster movies such as Raise Your Voice. D-

Now for some movies I had already seen.

Bring It On, 2000, dir. Reed
God this movie is amazing. Everything about it. Even the fart jokes are funny! I've only grown to appreciate it more on my many many viewings. A-

Sister Act, 1992, dir. Ardolino and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, 1993, dir. Duke
Where has Whoopi Goldberg gone? And Kathy Najimy for that matter. Oh well, these two movies are still incredibly entertaining. I know the second one gets a bum rap for being a teacher-reforms-kids-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-track but it's all about music and said music is really good and it's got Lauryn Hill and I love Lauryn Hill. B+ and B+

Xanadu, 1980, dir. Greenwald
I was gonna write something about this it it's own entry, but really Nat said it all a few months ago (speaking of which - another entry please, Mr Rogers!). B

Drop Dead Gorgeous, 1999, dir. Jann
Okay, so I find this movie hysterically funny. Do you have a problem with that? B+

Batman Returns, 1992, dir. Burton
It was on some peoples minds recently and I was bored when I got home from a heavy night of drinking so, naturally, popped it into the DVD player. Man, I love this movie so much. Visually it is amazing, but Michelle Pfeiffer and Michael Keaton are what makes it transcend. "How could you hit... a woman?!" *bam* teehee. Michelle here is the greatest superhero film performance of all time. A-

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, 1994, dir. Elliot
I'm so glad Stephen Elliot (the director) is back to directing after that disastrous flop Welcome to Woop Woop back in 1997 (and I never did see Eye of the Beholder) because Priscilla is so wonderful. Definitely one of, if not the, funniest movies of the 1990s. A

Now listen here you mullet. Why don't you go light your tampon and blow your box apart because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, Sweetheart!

Cat on the Hot Tin Roof, 1958, dir. Brooks
Dreamy. A+

Pixar Films
I also watched a whole swag of Pixar films - the only two I didn't watch (because I don't own them) were A Bug's Life and Cars. I wish I did own them. But, man, they're all so good.

Toy Story, A-
Toy Story 2, A
Monsters, Inc., B+
Finding Nemo, A-
The Incredibles, A

Phew. Now that I've got all them out of the way, I can move on and stop reminding myself "write about all those movie I've seen lately!" Oh! I did also manage to fit in the entire first season of The Closer for the third time and have since ordered Season 2 on DVD so that should arrive later this week. YAY! I'm too tired to add pictures though. Maybe tomorrow.

Larsville

I would like to be remembered for doing Dogville. I can't see that film being made by anybody else in any other place than where I am right now. Maybe I'm wrong. But I was quite proud that we could produce a movie like that.

Radar has an interesting interview with iconic iconoclast Dane Lars Von Trier about his new film, bizarrely an office comedy, The Boss of it All. They discuss his infamous "USA Trilogy" and if he'll ever get around to finished it (after Dogville and Manderlay there was supposed to be Washington) as well as discussing his recently documented bout of career-ending depression.

I'm kind of happy that he said he'd like to be remember for Dogville. I think that's his strongest film and his most, i dunno, bombastic if you wanna use an interesting adjective.

Thirteen Random Observations About Different Things

1. I saw my neighbour of two years today for the first time. He always has his blinds down and I never see him, but today he was out doing gardening! I just assumed he was a clichéd serial killer living in seclusion with an ever-growing collection of corpses filling up his garage.

2. I just watched Lars Von Trier's Idioterne. It was bizarre. I don't think I liked it.

3. I thought my computer had crashed! But it turned out it hadn't! And that was the end of that fascinating story.

4. I walked down to the shops before and someone had tied their dog to a pole so it wouldn't run away (as you do). But this dog actually looked like one of the hyenas from The Lion King. I was hoping it'd start sprouting sassy R-rated Whoopi Goldberg jokes. Alas, it merely barked at me and I scampered away because...

5. ...I hate dogs. I was chasing around one at work the other day for 30 minutes! It kept running back into the store (and I was in charge). And because we didn't have a Yellow Pages to get a number for a vet or a pound I decided to use 12456 Directory Assistance, but it turns out we can't call that from work so I had to go upstairs to use my mobile phone. The vets I contacted were closed so I rang the lost animal home and they were all "We don't collect animals" and gave me a number for the council, so I rang the council and they were closed and then I exploded into a million different pieces. That's why I like cats. Cats wouldn't do that!

6. I had a dream last night that Ja and I were having a big fight about Hostel (shocking, right?) in this 3D parallel universe and then I mysteriously jumped on the stairmachine at the gym and out popped Ja with Tori Amos. They ripped my face off. Or, a layer of face? Cause I still had my face after it. Still, Ja and Tori Amos ripping your face off? Not recommended!

7. Did I ever tell to go buy Amy Winehouse's Back to Black and Armand Van Helden's Ghettoblaster CDs? Cause you should. Ghettoblaster is the one with the most boring album sleeve in the history of music. No joke.

8. Did I also tell you about how when I went to see a movie at the cinema recently (perhaps it was... Curse of the Golden Flower? That was the last movie I saw at Village so I guess it's correct) that they showed a trailer for Half Light. If you're not aware of this movie, don't worry. It was a (supposedly) terrible Demi Moore Scotland-set thriller about a lighthouse or something. Thing is, I saw Golden Flower in April... if you click here you will notice Half Light was released here (very limited) on July 20, 2006. It was already out on DVD! That's utterly bizarre. Sort of like that time I saw the trailer for Ocean's 12 three times in a row at the same session.

9. Speaking of release dates, neither Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof (formerly of Grindhouse) or David Lynch's Inland Empire have release dates. What are we? In the freakin' stone age or something?


10. For no apparent reason the other night I went through Collateral (Michael Mann's amazing movie) and took, like, 40 screecaps. Because that movie has the best cinematography of the last... well, a long bloody time! (yes, even better than Children of Men in my eyes).

11. I served this lady at work the other night that looked exactly like Jane Lynch.

12. Does America and everywhere else that isn't the UK or Australia get Parkinson? It's this British chat program from England with this old geezer (Michael Parkinson, right?) who interviews people. They're usually a load of tosh with the guy talking about how lovely the guest is. Last week they repeated an episode from a while back where he interviewed Kate Winslet and, yeah, she is the greatest woman on this planet. "Look at me now!" I love that bit that all his guests have to do when they walk out at the top of the staircase and then pause to look at the audience. I love it more when they act shocked that there's an audience. "People?! I didn't know!"

13. I'm hungry. I think there's some Shapes in the cupboard!