October 30, 2006

Love Song For a [Sexy] Vampire

This is part of the Vampire blog-a-thon. Created and monitored by that undead soul that is Nathaniel over at The Film Experience



Vampires: I don't really like them outside of Buffy and a couple of movies. But there's one issue about them that always piques my interest. Hot people! Sexy or Not. That's the constant debate when it comes to vampires and vampire movies. In some movies they are horrible disgusting creatures that want to suck your blood in the most unsavoury of manners. And then there are those movies that feature vampires that want to suck your blood in the most unsavoury of manners, but who are also hotter than a vampire at midday in summer. So I thought for my entry into the Vampire blog-a-thon that I would count down the five sexiest vampires. The ones that you would have a difficult task of actually running away from.

**Please note, Brad Pitt does not appear on hear. I don't particularly care for him in general, let alone in Interview with the Actor where he was about a sexy as a barbequed rat**


5. Kate Beckinsale as "Selene" in Underworld


Fact. I sorta hate Kate Beckinsale. I just really dislike her. I don't get her purpose in the world. And then to go on and say that Underworld is quite possibly the worst horror movie I've ever seen at the cinema, it must be confusing as to why she's on here. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure that if I were a hetersexual 16-year-old male, the sight of Kate running around in way-too-tight-for-an-action-movie vinyl suit would probably be the equivelent of the moon landing in terms of viewer gawking. Even I admit that she was the best looking thing in the movie (Scott Speedman unfortunately played a strung out werewolf).

4. Gerard Butler as "Dracula" and Jeri Ryan, Jennifer Esposity & Colleen Fitzpatrick as Dracula's brides in Dracula 2000


The movie was a dud, but the window dressing sure was fine. Dracula's a lucky man and I think we all know that Gerard Butler is a sexy bitch. I'd let Gerard attack my neck any time he liked.

3. Stephen Dorff as "Deacon Frost" in Blade


Okay, so there's one scene in Blade that has Dorff's character of Deacon being quite naked. Well, shirtless at least, but I think there was more nekkidness. Either way, there's is plenty of evidence out there that he looks damn fine without a shirt on. It helps that Blade was better than a lot of other movies in this vein. I mean, Stephen Dorff ain't no class actor. I highly doubt he'll ever win an Oscar, but if he's willing to remove clothes in as many movies as possible, then his career will be long and prosperous.

2. David Boreanaz as "Angel" in Buffy the Vampire Slayer


Okay, so I'm cheating by including the television serious, but not only was Angel a hottie (Buffy's only good catch on the series) but he was a major S.N.A.G. I mean, sure, he's a vampire so he can't go out in the daylight, and sure, when Angel and Buffy had sex that one time he turned into an evil vampire again, but for a while there he was really nice! I mean, he did have a soul afterall. David's become a bit too creepy these days (he's nearly 40. time he started to look his age), but back in the heady days of '97 and '98 he was major spunk material.

1. Salma Hayek as "Santanico Pandemonium" in From Dusk Till Dawn
Salma. Bikini. Albino Python. Fangs. One of my favourite vampire movies. That is all.





[Return to Vampire Central at The Film Experience Blog]
(that's Nosferatu in that icon. He's not sexy. At all.)


The following are all the blogs participating in the Vampire Blog-a-Thon. OMG I was bad/lazy and just got the source HTML code from Nat's page and copied and pasted it into here. What you gonna do? SUCK MY BLOOD?!

The Bloodsucking Blogs
Flickhead has capsules on five favored vampire flicks
Gallery of the Absurd imagines Interview with the Antoinette
House of Sternberg posts original short fiction The Starving
Certifiably Creative offers up Theater Des Vampires
No More Marriages on Pittsburgh as the star of Innocent Blood
Eddie on Film views Fright Night as the top 80s vampire flick
Forward to Yesterday gets political w/ Guy Maddin's Dracula
Silly Hats Only on George Romero's Martin
As Little As Possible loves Dracula: Dead and Loving It
Modern Fabulousity pays tribute to Klaus Kinski as Nosferatu
Low Resolution stays up late From Dusk Till Dawn
goatdog on the dwindling House of Dracula at Universal
Cinemathematics on vampire imagery in Shadow of a Doubt
Burbanked Blame the screenwriter: blood sucking edition

...And Still More Undead
Richard Gibson goes contemporary: Martin and The Addiction
When I Look Deep... pits DrĂ¡cula against Dracula
Pfangirl on a "bloody awesome trio" of lady bloodsuckers
QTA loves the ladies. And so do the ladies in Vampyros Lesbos
Cinema Fromage 'yeah baby, Dracula in 70s London'
zoom-in requests a DVD fix of The Addiction
Stinky Lulu loves Ketty Lester in Blacula
Way of Words on women: from victims to vampire slayers
Music is My Boyfriend offers tunes for the blog-a-thon
Pen15 Club
"When Hilary Duff attacks"
My New Plaid Pants finds Paxton ‘finger lickin’ good’ in Near Dark
Nicks Flick Picks on Coppola's Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Being Boring on the homo-cautionary Interview…
Culture Snob resurrects and old look at Nosferatu
The Horror Blog 'fesses up to some anti-vampire prejudice

The Vampires Are Everywhere!
Tuwa's Shanty on Martin & Nosferatu
Catherine Cantieri the giant sucking sound of 1992's Dracula
The Boob Tubers asks the eternal question: Spike or Angel?
novaslim says a "vuck you" to Grace Jones in Vamp
European Films on Frostbite, a Swedish horror comedy
popbytes recommends Christopher Lee in Hammer's Dracula series
Glitterati points out the most unbelievably cast vampire…ever
100 Films the monster mashup: Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein
Peter Nellhaus on Brides of Dracula
Bright Lights After Dark 'Browning and the Slow Club' (Dracula)
Tim Lucas declares his half dozen favorite vampire flicks
Film Vituperatum Ninjas and Vampires --uncanny similarities!
Film of The Year 'That's Why The Lady is a Vamp'
All About My Movies Angelina Jolie IS a Vampire
Critic After Dark two vampire movies from The Philippines
Agence Eureka a vampire gallery
Cinevistaramascope finds Herzog's Nosferatu superior to Murnau's
Auteur Lust obsesses on Persona: 'The Vampire's In Us'
Bitter Cinema a treasure trove of YouTube vampire trailers
Cutting Room remembers his first time...w/ Bram Stokers Dracula

12 comments:

adam k. said...

That is a gorgeous picture of David Boreanaz (I LOVE his name... David Boreanaz). But an even MORE gorgeous picture of Salma. That movies does sound quite enticing.

adam k. said...

Also, a gorgeous picture of Stephen Dorff (and yes, he is quite hot without a shirt on), but he loses points for having a crappy name. He needs to change it. Now.

Glenn Dunks said...

lol, Dorff. It sounds like it should be the catchphrase of Bizarro Homer (like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine makes friends with a bizarro group of friends who are just like her actual friends. Lol.

...yes.

Joe R. said...

Stephen Dorff in Blade is really underrated, both in terms of a delightfully overbaked villain and an utterly wrongly hot piece of undead tail. Nice call.

NATHANIEL R said...

yes, i'm so glad that Dorff is on here. the only redeemable thing for me about Blade

Anonymous said...

I think I speak for the entire male heterosexual community, when it comes to Salma Hayek, there is a great wave of agreement. I don't think I'll ever forget that scene.

Actually, however, Kate Beckinsale does little for me. Of course, I'm not sixteen anymore.

Anonymous said...

I love Gallery of the Absurd! You can get her prints at ImageKind here: http://14.imagekind.com

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