This Week in Australian Cinemas

So last week there were something like 10 movies released and not one of them was interesting. So this week with 9 titles being released you'd hope there was some good in there. Alas, there's really only one that sparks my interest. I've already seen three of them (the Australian ones) but I wouldn't have been particularly desperate to see them if I didn't get to for free already.


Monster House, 2006, dir. Kenan
I know a lot of people are saying this movie is actually quite charming, but... I've seen the trailer for this movie about four times and jesus it looks bad. The animation looks really creepy and... i dunno. I'm sure if I actually saw it I'd have a good time, but for the time being I just don't feel like watching this.

The Ant Bully, 2006, dir. Davis
This on the other hand looks bad and is getting bad reviews. So... that's a skip. I love that in America they released Monster House, Ant Bully and Barnyard (below) in three consecutive weeks. What idiots! No wonder this movie died. Not even the cast (Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Nicholas Cage and Paul Giamatti) could save it (although, to be honest, only one of those four is a consistent box-office draw), which just does to show DREAMWORKS that their theory is wrong. You don't need big stars in animated movies to become hits. Take a hint you stupid twits.

Barnyard: The Original Party Animals, 2006, dir. Oederkerk
It's school holidays folks, so studios dump all their kiddie movies in one big go, expecting people to just go see every single one. I'm more concerned, however, about the effects this movie is going to have on children (it is the highest grossing of the three flicks I've discussed already, in America anyway). Cause seriously... cows aren't males. And bulls don't have udders. I'm not sure whether the characters here are meant to be bulls with udders or cows with male voices, but it's weird and freaky and I don't like it. Maybe Oedekerk thought he should let kids experience the magical artform of sex reassignment surgery? Perhaps...

Madagascar The Wild, 2006, dir. Williams.
1. When the trailer for this movie came on at the cinema once me and my friends were like "Hey look! They're rereleasing Madagascar!"
2. The director of this movie is Steve "Spaz" Williams. In the spirit of political correctness I'm going to bite my tongue and just silently point and laugh.
3. It's nice of Keifer Sutherland that he's become so typecast that he even voices animated animal versions of Jack Bauer.
4. There's a funny forum thread over at the IMDb entitled Who is Eddie Izzard and why is he from England. I haven't read the thread but it has a funny subject. Like... what? WHY ARE YOU FROM ENGLAND, BITCH?!

An Inconvenient Truth, 2006, dir. Guggenheim
The only issue I have this movie is one bit in the trailer. Okay, so Al Gore is discussing the polar ice caps and if they melt. He says that the World Trade Center Memorial will be under water. While, that is indeed quite important is the fact that THE ISLAND OF MANHATTAN IS FLOODED sorta a bit higher up on the "HOLY FUCK!" metre? That just seemed strange. Other than that, I wanna see this movie. Maybe on Cheap Tuesday thought when paying to see, essentially, a Powerpoint Presentation won't be so bad. It does look fascinating though. Plus, they actually put in a clip from Futurama!!! That's pretty much the greatest thing ever. Lol "I'm Al Gore, author of Balance of the Earth and the more popular Harry Potter and the Balance of the Earth". I heart Futurama something chronic.

Last Train to Freo, 2006, dir. Sims
I've already discussed this movie. The first two thirds are actually suprisingly good stuff. But then the makers decided they wanted their movie to be deemed as important or some bull (with udders!) like that and threw in a stupid twist, which I was - quite frankly - insulted by. I don't like being used as a throwaway plot device thank you.

Opal Dream, 2006, dir. Cattaneo
Again, I've already discussed this movie. I wasn't at all interested in it outside of it starring Vince Colosimo and Jacqui MacKenzie. But I was pleasantly surprised. It was a great little family film y'all. And from the director of The Full Monty too!

Em 4 Jay, 2006, dir. Tsilimidos
This movie still doesn't have an IMDb profile page. How bizarre. Anyway. Yes, I've already discussed this movie. Nothing special or groundbreaking.

Nacho Libre, 2006, dir. Hess
I sort of just hate the idea of this movie even existing. I hate this sort of "comedy" that is so incredibly lazy. It's like IF I SCREAM MY DIALOGUE THAT MAKES IT FUNNY. Or if I point out extremely mundane things like you having brown hair is instantly funny. The reason I really hate Napoleon Dynamite (whose director Jared Hess directs this Jack Black vehicle) is because it's just a loser being a loser, which isn't funny. I like my comedy to actually have some effort put into it with, ya know, funny dialogue, jokes, situations. That's why the only really funny bit of that movie was the dance scene. Everything else was like "Wow. Your mom is weird." OMGSOHILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! *grimace*

BOX OFFICE
1. John Tucker Must Die (1)
2. Lady in the Water (2)
3. Kenny (4)
4. DOA: Dead or Alive (1)
5. Silent Hill (2)
6. Friends with Money (2)
7. Thank You for Smoking (3)
8. Snakes on a Plane (3)
9. You, Me and Dupree (7)
10. Hoodwinked (6)

Somebody wake me when it's over. John Tucker debuts at #1 with a bit over $1mil. Ouch. Still, it's better than Lady in the Water, which despite debuting at #2, only made $580,000 for an average of #2,496! WOW, That is awful. Kenny continues it's patern of increasing it's weekly takings, this week it stays at #3 but rises 14%. Very good work. The $3mil mark is just around the corner. The sky is really the limit at the moment if word-of-mouth continues.

DOA: Dead or Alive manages a #4 debut, which is good I guess considering I saw zero advertising for it apart from an article or two about Holly Valance. Silent Hill falls from #1 to #5 in one week and has just under $1.5mil. Friends With Money jumps two spots from #8 to #6 but performs the extremely nigh on impossible task of making the almost exact amount it made the previous week. Last week it made $372,749 for an average of $8,472. This week it makes $370,977 for an average of $8,431. That actually works out as a fall of some obscure 0.02% or something. Well done. Just like the #7 Thank You For Smoking, these two titles have soaked up the adult dollar. People wanting good accessible adult fare. Both titles are doing far better in Australia than they did in America.

The rest of the chart is a non-issue. Debuting outside the Top 10 at #13 was Garfield 2, which should in fact rise next week due to school holidays. An Inconvenient Truth makes #17 on advance screenings alone. Stormbreaker limps in at #18. The Book of Revelation debuts unranked with $71,000 and an average of $3,458. Yeah, that's $4.5mil well spent, hey? Also, Hoot gets laughed off the screen. It debuted on 41 screens but only made $13,148. Yes, that's a debut average of $321. LOL