The Dame/The Dealer

Clearly the coolest Dame isn't Dame Judi or Dame Helen. No, the coolest Dame is Dame Shirley Bassey. Reasons? Well, for starters - "Goldeneye" and "Diamonds Are Forever" are the two greatest James Bond themes ever. Secondly, Would Judi Dench or Helen Mirren (as awesome as they may be) ever record a cover version of Pink's song "Get the Party Started"? I think not!

Perhaps nobody passed on the memo to Dame Bassey that she is, in fact, singing about being an ecstacy dealer to a raver orgy party, but it's pretty freakin' awesome nonetheless. I guess singing all those Bond theme songs gave The Dame a knack for innuendo, I can't be certain, but when she drawls "If you know what I mean" the image pops into my mind of Dame Bassey being an e-hopping drug dealer and, well, that just puts a big ol' smile on my face. It's like Weeds but with eccies and instead of a single "mom" it's a feisty Dame. Charming.

I'm not entirely sure the video is any good. In fact, I know it's not. It doesn't really do anything. It's just there and Shirley pops up every now and again, sometimes inside a mirror. Weird.



Why don't the producers of the next James Bond movie bring Dame Bassey into the sweet comforting bosom of Daniel Craig and get her to sing the theme song? I know they're all about "reinventing" the franchise and all, but hey, that Chris Cornell song was sort of terrible and if the producers are going around making bizarro hiring decisions then I'm not sure it matters. Here's hoping Marc Forster, who to this date hasn't made one movie I have liked, can pull off an Alfonso Cuaron/Prisoner of Azkaban on us and make a completely amazing movie with there being absolutely zero markers to suggest he can.