July 12, 2007

The Dame/The Dealer

Clearly the coolest Dame isn't Dame Judi or Dame Helen. No, the coolest Dame is Dame Shirley Bassey. Reasons? Well, for starters - "Goldeneye" and "Diamonds Are Forever" are the two greatest James Bond themes ever. Secondly, Would Judi Dench or Helen Mirren (as awesome as they may be) ever record a cover version of Pink's song "Get the Party Started"? I think not!

Perhaps nobody passed on the memo to Dame Bassey that she is, in fact, singing about being an ecstacy dealer to a raver orgy party, but it's pretty freakin' awesome nonetheless. I guess singing all those Bond theme songs gave The Dame a knack for innuendo, I can't be certain, but when she drawls "If you know what I mean" the image pops into my mind of Dame Bassey being an e-hopping drug dealer and, well, that just puts a big ol' smile on my face. It's like Weeds but with eccies and instead of a single "mom" it's a feisty Dame. Charming.

I'm not entirely sure the video is any good. In fact, I know it's not. It doesn't really do anything. It's just there and Shirley pops up every now and again, sometimes inside a mirror. Weird.



Why don't the producers of the next James Bond movie bring Dame Bassey into the sweet comforting bosom of Daniel Craig and get her to sing the theme song? I know they're all about "reinventing" the franchise and all, but hey, that Chris Cornell song was sort of terrible and if the producers are going around making bizarro hiring decisions then I'm not sure it matters. Here's hoping Marc Forster, who to this date hasn't made one movie I have liked, can pull off an Alfonso Cuaron/Prisoner of Azkaban on us and make a completely amazing movie with there being absolutely zero markers to suggest he can.

10 comments:

par3182 said...

that. is brilliant.

Kamikaze Camel said...

I know, right?

rural juror said...

it kind of sounds like they put the James Bond theme into this song....in fact, this video resembles an ill advised opening titles from the series

John T said...

First of all, I love Shirley Bassey, and this is awesome (and she has pipes at 70 that most chanteuses can't imagine in their 20's).

I'd also like to second the fact that she should sing the next Bond theme (she's always superb).

However, I want to disagree with Cuaron's Prisoner of Azkaban having zero markers that it would be great. The third book was one of the best in the series, Cuaron had already made a children's classic in A Little Princess, and he had made beautiful, interesting films prior (and after) the movie. The director of Finding Neverland should never be compared to the director of Children of Men. :)

J.D. said...

Yeah, yeah, I second John T's sentiment. Cuaron had already made A Little Princess and Y tu Mama Tambien, but yeah in Harry Potter's cinematic experiences to that point it would seem crazy that it turn out excellent. And he completely changed the franchise. And Children of Men; don't get me started.

*Also, Order of the Phoenix: Ten times darker than I imagined it to be, but for all I know as of now, it could very well be the best so far. I think...*

Beckles said...

That is hands down the weirdest, yet most brilliant thing I've seen all day...

Kamikaze Camel said...

Hence, it's amazing.

j said...

come on, stay is brilliant. at LEAST visually.

btw- is that shot on the bottom of talkback from the cover of guy debords "Society of the spectacle"? In fact, i KNOW it's the same photo

j said...

oh, and cuaron's "y tu mama tambien" is one of the best foreign language films in 10 years

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