Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Dakota isn't Satan herself, but is just your ordinary garden style variety vampyre (or some other blood sucking creature like a snake on a plane?). I fear for the lil piggies from the set of Charlotte's Web now.

[Src]

She's breached the third level of HELL!!

What is the world (or, should I say, Hollywood?) coming to when Satan herself Dakota Fanning gets projects tailor made around her. I know she had Charlotte's Web, but imagine being a newcomer, all the way from Deep River, Ontario trying to break into the movie business. You want to become a movie star, or a great actress, but preferably both. You're staying in your hot-as-fuck apartment and between your Nancy Drew on crack investigations you receive word of an audition. Your landlady/madame gets a fax with sample scenes for the audition the next day. As she's bringing them to you a weird old woman (who was in Shampoo!!) tells you "something bad is happening" and you just brush it off. But then you look at the cover page of the audition notes and *gasp* it says UNTITLED DAKOTA FANNING PROJECT

It'd be enough to make you create a physical manifestation of your hatred who likes to play with a mysterious blue pandora's box, which when opened you would fall into and suddenly become somebody with the name Diane who's forgotten how to shower. And then you'll be so full of disgust that you hire an assassin to kill Dakota Fanning and when it's done he will leave a blue key somewhere.

Except, because Dakota Fanning is in fact Satan, it is impossible to kill her with mere manmade weapons and then she grows to epic sizes and decides to kill every single person on the planet (except for Rachel Ray, Satan's minion) by reflecting the sun rays from her giant hideous braces, setting everything on the planet on fire thus making it, quite literally, Hell On Earth.

And then you'll wake up and realise IT WAS ALL A HORRIBLE DREAM.

And then an old couple will show up and you'll scream your face off before shooting it off with a gun, thus ending the tragic story of your life.

Meanwhile Dakota Fanning's untitled project gets a title and another poor unfortunate up and coming actress receives audition scenes, goes to audition with the creepy old man (aka, Dakota's father cause he'd probably be the kind of father to aprove all of the lesser beings who appear in his daughter's films) and then when she gets the role in the film (which may or may not be directed by a hot up and coming man with zero percent body fat) is all excited but then discovers that the leading lady is DAKOTA FANNING, which terrifies her so much that she runs screaming from the studio to a friend's place. But then she discovers that the friend is a rotting disgusting corpse and then in a possibly earths-falling-off-it's-axis moment of metaphysics she realises the rotten disgusting corpse is HERSELF and subsequently desolves into a puddle of sticky gelatinous goo.

Or that's how I imagine it panning out.