Dancing with the Bizarre

So, Dancing with the Stars is into it's sixth series here in Australia (we have plenty of D-grade celebrities), but this current one is the first I've ever watched. It's really quite an annoying show, but like other shows of a similar vein where you're pretty much asked to pick favourites and watch them throughout a series (Idol, Big Brother) I'm watching it for two people and two people only (well, two of the celebrities anyway). They would be the hilarious Fifi Box and the supurb Kate Ceberano.

One of the "celebrities" is David Graham. He was on the fifth (and most recent) series of Big Brother. He annoys the bloody hell outta me. I hated him on Big Brother and I hate him on Dancing with the Stars. David is gay, but he's one of those sort of gay men who, for some reason or other, feels the need to teach the straight people of the world about the life of gay people. He came out on Big Brother in, like, the third episode, and from then on at least once a week (but usually much more) he would go into a long-winded lecture about how hard gay people have it and all that crap. I just wanted to throw something at him. We (er, gay people) don't need some farmer from the bush crying on tv to get sympathy.

It was clearly all an act though because he was trying to come of as all sensitive and shit because that's what Australian voters always seem to vote to win. Yawn. He'd always play the diplomat ("I don't want to vote for anyone" yet then turn around and vote for the only person in the house who, at the time, wasn't hating his guts. ugh.) Read more about his wankfilled life here. He scored 4/40 tonight (that's one point from each judge! lol) so hopefully he'll disappear into the crater that swallows up all Big Brother contestants and we'll never have to see his ugly mug ever again. I was going to put a picture of him besides this but then I was all "wait, I don't wanna force his stupid face upon the readers" so I didn't.

I gotta say though, I have a huge big ol' crush on Fifi Box's partner, professional dancer Paul Green. I rarely use this word, but he's a major stud. Yummo. Unfort, there aren't any pictures of him except for the tiny tiny one on the website (which you can see to your left). I just wanna ravage him silly.

OMG Sonia Kruger just slammed Anthony Callea. God she has some good calls R-rated ("the lesbians like Fifi's box!"). Teehee. Silly Anthony Callea. You're gay now, but when people asked you for the last three years you were straight. Riiiight. Could it be that your album sales are down and you need some free publicity? I think so.

Thank God it's Clip Friday: Part II - The Thank God Edition

Lot's of "Thank God" and Thank God for you. Thank God You're Here is an Australian comedy program that finished it's second season last night (it only started in 2006 though, so it had two seasons this year). It was created by Working Dog, probably the greatest production company Australia has had in the last 2 decades. With Frontline, The Games, The Panel, A River Some Where and Thank God on TV plus The Castle and The Dish in cinemas and then there's also books including Phaic Tan.

Thank God is, quite literally, theatre sports on TV. Four well-known Australians come on the show (they're usually comedians but sometimes it's just actors from tv and movies) and individually they enter a door onto a set that they have no idea about (although their costumes give it away sometimes) and must improvise for about five minutes. There are regular actors in the scenes that have a script to follow and it's sorta like madlibs where the guest has to finish of sentences or jokes or whatever. The scenarios can be anything from a plane crash on a deserted island to a Jane Austin style period setting to a gym instructor. The only common factor is when the guest enters one of the actors in the situation says "Thank god you're here!"

Anyway, it's pretty much constantly the funniest show on television. It's been purchased by networks all around the world so y'all be seeing your own version at some point (I believe NBC bought it for America). It is constantly one of, if not the, highest rating programs of the week because, shock horror, it's actually entertaining and funny and worthy of spending an hour in front of the box instead of being punished like other shows. I think it's cause Aussies are great bullshit artists. We can sorta make it an artform, really. Plus, in America, would guests be able to even say some of the jokes they say on our version? Such as the "Saucy bitch" comment in the Josh Lawson clip.

For no reason other than I can, here are a seven of the best ones that I could find on YouTube. The season finale on Wednesday was hilarious, but unfortunately I can't the Frank Woodley bit where he played a quite homosexual 16th century ship captain (we nearly got our first Thank God gay kiss! Lol). Luckily the hottie actor who is in all the scenes (Ed Kavalee) was the near-recipient. *sigh* he's dreamy. Anyway. Have a gander if you want at some of the clips below. I tried to get funny ones. There weren't that many on there so some of the best aren't here (there were some really funny Julie Zemiro, Fifi Box, Shaun Macallif and Arj Barker, plus all the group challenges (where all the guests do one sketch together) but alas...)


Josh Lawson as an Amazonian explorer. Lawson is the most consisten performer. Always funny.


Tony Martin as a SWAT enforcer. "Renovation Rescue!" Anaconda 2 = terrorism


Bob Franklin in marriage councilling. Bringing the babysitter in full time is gold


Hamish Blake in old man makeup. Blake is funny at the best of times, but here he's really good. Hamish on the left, out of makeup


Jimoin as an Egyptologist (or whatever) discovering a hidden tomb. The bit about the all the funny lines he could've said earlier is priceless


Cal Wilson as Miss Caicos in a beauty pageant. "MISS CHINA!" classic


Matthew Newton in probably the best job anybody has ever done on the show. It's constantly funny, but it's just amazing watching Matt (who wasn't exactly known for his comedy and timing skills) reply to every line perfectly and not faultering once.