October 9, 2007

It's Completely Unnecessary Horror Sequel Time!

Seriously, who asked for a sequel to 1999's House on Haunted Hill. I saw that when I was 15 and didn't actually find it too bad - although I haven't watch it since so who knows - but, really? Return to House on Haunted Hill. The title isn't even grammatically correct.

But, if you are interested and want to know it stars, well you're in for a treat! They managed to rope in some pretty big names. Observe:

Amanda Righetti - She was in some episodes of The OC. She had the hots for Ryan, if memory serves!

Erik Palladino - He was in Road Kill! But not the surprisingly good Road Kill with Paul Walker, Steve Zahn and Helen Hunt Leelee Sobieski, so really what's the point?

Cerina Vincent - If I'm remember correctly, she played the chick who had an, erm, interesting moment with a leg razor in Cabin Fever. SHE'S PRACTICALLY A SUPERSTAR!

Tom Riley - I imagine this guy is hoping Return to House on Haunted Hill is his big break!

Andrew Lee Potts - There is nothing remotely interesting about this guy's resume. He was on an episode of Heartbeat once!

Steven Pacey - He was on an episode of a show called M.I.T. - Murder Investigation Team a show that was surely not even in the slightest inspired by C.S.I. - Crime Scene Investigation. Not at all. Not one tiny bit.

Jeffrey Combs - The one cast-member with the possibility of being known... BY NAME!!! He's been of shows like Enterprise, The 4400, Justice League and Deep Space Nine and was in movies like Re-Animator and I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. He even played Montgomery Clift in a TV movie called Norma Jean and Marilyn and was in the cast of the unfortunately-canned TV series of The Net - that fantastically ridiculous Sandra Bullock internet thriller.

It turns out that Combs' character appeared in the original movie as well, making him the only one from the 1999 film to return. No Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Ali Larter, Peter Gallagher or Taye Diggs in this one. Although some of the movies Ali Larter made in the time between bouts of fame look like dogs. She played "Fardart" in National Lampoon's Homo Erectus. Uh-huh. I have no doubt she's be up for another round of house hauntings if it weren't for her role on Heroes. They could easily come up with a ridiculous excuse to have her character return to the house, surely.


Rural Juror said...

Road Kill was called Joy Ride over in the states.....but, confusingly, there was another movie called Joy Ride starring Toby Maguire that I believe was also about killer...

Don't forget, Ali Larter can currently be seen playing sidekick to Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil 3

JA said...

I haven't seen the '99 House in years but I do remember liking it more than I expected to. The flashback scenes to the asylum being taken over by the inmates were really creepy, as were the scenes in that spinning mind-fuck tank thing. And Famke was FABULOUS.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Famke is always fabulous.