The Annual 'Glenn Mocks the ARIA Nominations' Entry

Hahahahah. God. The ARIA nominations are non-stop hilarity frustrating beyond belief. How can an awards organisation be so amazing as to nominate a song such as Sneaky Sound System's "UFO" as single of the year and then right along side it nominate the exact same song that they have been nominating Powderfinger and John Butler Trio with for the last decade? Ugh. Their Best Album category is pretty darn insulting, come to think of it, but not at all surprising. An ARIA show that doesn't nominate Powderfinger, John Butler Trio and Silverchair for everything possible? It's just unAustralian.

I must point out that Missy Higgins, who I have been unashamed in my dismissal of, despite being the ARIA darling just two years ago, has become yet another to suffer the sophomore slump despite releasing an album that was, quite frankly, better than the first. It happened to Delta Goodrem with her Mistaken Identity album and several others. So, yes, add Missy Higgins to the list who didn't even get an album or single of the year nomination. Considering "Steer" was a load of codswallop, it's not that surprising, but her album - the name of which I can't be bothered changing browser windows to find out - wasn't anywhere near as poor as her debut The Sound of Shite White. Oh, and Jet. But, seriously, does anyone like Jet anymore? Unlikely.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Gotye, Mixed Blood
John Butler Trio, The Same Album They Released Three Years Ago
Powderfinger, Didn't We Release This Album Five Times Already
Silverchair, Young Modern
Sneaky Sound System, Sneaky Sound System

I haven't heard Gotye's album, but I have heard good things so good on them for nominating it! Silverchair's album was most definitely a worthy nominee and while I give them props for having the balls to nominate Sneaky Sound System I can't help but imagine the voters actually only listened to the singles - aka, the songs featuring the vocals of the amazing Miss Connie - and not the whole album, which - quite frankly - isn't that crash hot. JBT and Powderfinger releasing albums basically equals "ARIA Nominee for Album of the Year" no matter how many times they release the same CD with a different name.

SINGLE OF THE YEAR
Architecture in Helsinki, "Heart It Races"
John Butler Trio, "Whatever Song We Released, Possibly Featuring a Didgeridoo"
Powderfinger, "Boring Powderfinger Song #193"
Silverchair, "Straight Lines"
Sneaky Sound System" "Pictures" "UFO"

So, Silverchair's song is a masterpiece. AIH's song is quite great, too. "UFO" isn't as good as "Pictures" (which I thought would be nominated) but at least it's better than the ridiculous song that JBT are nominated for, or the boring Powderfinger song.

BEST FEMALE ARTIST
Kasey Chambers
Kate Heidke-Miller
Katie Noonan
Missy Higgins
Sarah Blasko

Expected line-up. We couldn't expect them to not nominate someone like Kasey Chambers in favour of Lisa Miller or Holly Throsby.

BEST MALE ARTIST
Dan Kelly
Gotye
John Butler
Josh Pyke
Paul Kelly

Christ. I do love Josh Pyke. But I'm sure John Butler and his tired boring dreadlocks will win yet again despite, and correct me if I'm wrong, he actually being in a group...

BEST POP RELEASE
Evermore, "Light Surrounding You"
Kate Heidki-Miller, "Little Eve"
Missy Higgins, "On a Clear Night"
Operator Please, "Just Another Song About Ping Pong"
Sarah Blasko, "What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have"

"Ping Pong" is possibly the best novelty song of the year, but how did Sarah Blasko get here? Her music ain't pop.

The rest are over here at the ARIA site. Needless to say, there's more shit than gold. Apparently artists like Sarah Blasko, Josh Pyke, Darren Hayes (possibly released too late) and others aren't as good as the same old artists releasing the same old album. So, basically, they're just like the Grammys or the Emmys.