April 28, 2007

The Most Amazing Song Ever Written In The History Of Music...

....About An Umbrella! Holy shit, right?! Never thought you'd see the day when there was an amazing terrific fantastic explosive mega-orgasmic pop song about a freakin' umbrella, did ya?! No. I bet you didn't.

So, I think it's fair to say that Rihanna has delivered a once-in-a-lifetime song here (songs about umbrellas don't come along very often you know), but I do worry that she is just getting my (and everyone else who think pop music is the best kind of music) hopes up. I mean, her first album in 2005 had one good song on it. Her second album from 2006 had one good song on it (the almost-as-amazing-as-Umbrella "SOS") and now she has another album coming out (called Good Girl Gone Bad is the title if the Jay-Z rap didn't clue you in). This one is apparently going to be much better than those other two (you'd certainly hope so or she's facing a dead end career).

Still, for now, we have the most amazing song ever written in the history of music about an umbrella. Hell, I'll be bold and extend that to the most amazing song ever written in the history of music about something you can stand under. I know. I know. I like to be daring in my critical assessments.

And you have to watch the just premiered music video. It's sort of one of the craziest music videos I've seen all year. It's delightfully bonkers. Just ignore the silly Jay-Z rap (has one man ever come so close to single-handedly ruining a song? Silly American music markets needing a rap to play it on the radio. I always skip it on my iPod) and focus on the fact that Rihanna has CGI paint flying at her! She has a "sexy" dance routine with a specifically placed umbrella! She poses nude and painted in freakin' silver!

I am quite concerned that nobody told her how to actually use an umbrella though, because I'm not quite sure she understands the concept.


LJ said...

i totally dig the cranberriesque (zombie) "eh" part in the chorus. The video felt very early 90s which was cool.

but it really really could have done without jayz, first he destroys linkin park, now this, there is no stopping his mediocrity.

JA said...

Damn you, Glenn. Now I can't stop listening to this song on repeat. Ella ella ay ay ay ay ay... sigh.

But see - I can ocassionally lighten up for some good pop.

Kamikaze Camel said...


"You can stand under my umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh" is probably going to be the hook of the year. Is there anything that even comes remotely close to being that addictive?! I think not.

LJ, the version sans Jay-Z is totally better purely because it's sans Jay-Z. Jay-Z's rap is possible the most pointless aspect of any song in the history of songs about things people can stand under. ;P

Kamikaze Camel said...

er, Yes*

(alcomohol doesn't agree with me when I blog yet I do it anyway)

Dave said...

Glenn, you are like my No. 1 source of good new music. Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Arcade Fire... now this. I can't stop listening to it, darnit. (And totally agree about the Jay-Z part. Utterly useless.) Under my umbrella- ella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh....

So, thanks, and keep it up. I love music.

Marius said...

I'm so over this song, but I do agree that it's a great pop song. Rihanna is beautiful. Man, Caribbean girls just kick ass. Speaking of pop singers, what ever happened to the lovely Natalie Imbruglia? She has the face of an angel.

Also, I officially declare next week “Australian Diva Week” in the States. Long live the Australian Diva! That is all.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Natalie released a quite lovely album called Counting Down the Days in 2004. Other than that I expect she's being the doting wife to Daniel Johns or something.

Anonymous said...

KC, I'm surprised you didn't mention the various "homages" in the video - the subtle or not so subtle nods (I think we used to call it "ripping off", but whatever) to Goldfinger, Mapplethorpe, Singing in the Rain and American in Paris (yes, I did just type that and no, I am not under the unfluence of alcohol), as well as to old-school strip tease acts. Oh, yes, and The Seven Year Itch (the white dress.)

Ok, that hook, - damn you KC, now it's stuck there permanently.

Actually the rap didn't ruin it for me half as much as the bit at the end where Rihanna tries to half-heartedly sell lip gloss and reminds us in the process that corporations run EVERYTHING.