April 24, 2007

DVD Nonsense

So, I went to Blockbuster tonight after work to get some movies. I got Children of Men, Trust the Man (to watch with friends) and Clean. Now, I really wanted to watch Children of Men again and I don't particularly buy DVDs anymore until they've been out for a while and the price is reduced (yay for previously owned DVDs! Super cheap). So, I hired it instead of buying it. I got home and was looking at it and I flipped the case open to see that there was no Children of Men DVDs in either of the two slots. No, instead, there were two Casino Royale DVDs. Colour me disappointed.

I was glancing over the Clean DVD as well and saw one of the worst DVD quotes since Rosie O'Donnell was quoted as saying the Minnie Driver pageant movie Beautiful was "Good!".

"A bitter SPOT-ON POISON-PEN SKETCH of the airless, STENCHY SUBTERRANEA of the fridge rock world..."
Village Voice

The stuff in capitals and bold is in capitals and bold on the box too. What does that quote even mean though. "Spot-on poison-pen sketch"? "Airless, stenchy subterranea"? "Fridge rock world"? See, it's reviews like that that make me fully agree with the "that movie is pretentious" vibe that so many "regular" people get from films like that. If I saw that on a movie poster I would probably prefer to see something like Norbit, quite frankly. Although I won't. Ever. *shudders*. That was not a pleasant thought.

I don't have a story about the DVD of Trust the Man (yet?), but the Australian version of the poster (and DVD cover, click the right to enlarge) does amuse me somewhat. Is there really any denying what part Eva Mendes plays in this movie? I mean, the poster claims it has five main stars (David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Billy Crudup, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Eva Mendes) yet the poster only features four of their faces. But it does feature a fifth person's arse, back and long flowing brunette hair. It made me chuckle.


J.D. Judge said...

Eva Mendes is in that? Really? She wasn't advertised at all here.

Ronnie said...

I love your comments on that DVD cover quote. Especially interesting is how putting certain words in bold is supposed to get you more interested. For example, on my "Sylvia" DVD it says: "Gwyneth Paltrow is SEXY and willful, boiling over with literary and EROTIC hunger!" However, I fail to see how SPOT-ON POISON-PEN SKETCH and STENCHY SUBTERRANEA is supposed to get me all excited. And speaking of weird quotes, I read this in the New York Times review of the play "Frost/Nixon" about Frank Langella: "...whose portrayal of Nixon is one of those made-for-the-stage studies in controlled excess in which larger-than-life seems truer-to-life than merely life-size ever could."

RC said...

totally disappointing on children of men i'm sure. casino royale and children of men are certainly two totally different films.

that is a ridiculous quote on the clean case...i'd say put the dictionary away and talk normal.

Kamikaze Camel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kamikaze Camel said...

I'm gonna watch it tonight so maybe I'll actually be able to find out what spot-on poison-pen ketch and stenchy subterranea actually mean.

I do have a story about the Trust the Man DVD. It was BAAAAD

Kamikaze Camel said...

Ugh. So I put the Clean DVD in and the player isn't responding! It says "Unknown Disc. Please check again".

Seriously. FUCK!

James Henry said...

You got me. That quote is even worse than Peter Travers' about "Easter Promises." How do you even write something like that without choking on your own pretentiousness?