So I was watching Video Hits today (it's a music video program) and because Beyonce has just announced a tour they decided to devote the last 30 minutes to her. I've always liked Beyonce (much less now than I used to), but I got to thinking.
Remember when "Crazy in Love" first came out and everyone knew it was pretty much the most brilliant moment in pop music that year, and the video was crazy super sexy hot (and it still is). But then the first single from her latest CD was "Deja Vu", which was pretty much the exact opposite of "Crazy in Love". Awful song, bad singing, and the video clip was complete and utter shit. I get chills just thinking about it. Since when was scary convulsions considered dancing? And why is she doing so in ridiculous outfits? Although, she did rebound with "Irreplacable". That song was awesome and the video clip was hilarious (what band in general has over 15 members, let alone a girl band? hilarious)
And then I started thinking about her film career. She was fine in Goldmember because nothing was asked of her, but The Pink Panther? Really? And then she didn't really do much (other than sing real good) in Dreamgirls.
I have a big thing for singers-turned-actors. While I don't particularly care for Barbra Streisand's music, she is a supurb actress and even a pretty great director. Bette Midler is usually a hoot on screen. If Cher hadn't ruined her face and had continued to act I would probably have no qualms with saying she's a favourite of mine (she had several grade A performances up her sleeve by the end of the '80s). And, well, you know people like Liza Minnelli and so on are legends for a reason. And there are single performances bu the likes of Bjork that blow most "professionals" off the screen. I even sort of like Madonna and Jennifer Lopez. The former has Dick Tracy on her resume, which is one of my all time favourites (that wasn't a joke) so that's enough for me, and even Lopez can be respectable enough (plus, The Cell? YOWZA! what a movie. Note to self: Watch that again soon).
But Beyonce doesn't even seem to have the energy of Lopez. She got given a juicy role on a silver platter in the form of Dreamgirls and didn't do anything with it. She's a glamourous gal, but she got eaten alive by Jennifer Hudson, Eddie Murphy and even Anika Noni Rose (that makes two big screen debutants!). I mean, I know the film doesn't really give her the opportunity (too much snip happy editing), but Beyonce can't do "nice". Instead she comes off as vague and placid. She needs to give up this desire to be perceived as nice (there's that word again) and embrace her divarisity (I just made that word up, okay?) She needs to chomp on some scenery and bite the heads off her co-actors. There was fire during "Listen", but as I mentioned, they ruined the scene by intercutting it with Beyonce looking at stuff (wtf?)
And, really, if Beyonce doesn't start making the gays her BFFs then her career won't last long. That's what divas do.