So, I just watched Eli Roth's silly excuse for a movie that is Hostel. I know there are fans, but, honestly? This was stupid. It was lazy and lame and frustrating (omg he just had to go back and get that other girl, how brave) and homophobic and sick and... well, you get the picture. The last, maybe, 20 minutes were the best parts because it seemed to actually be doing something other than remaining stagnant and standing around throwing blood at me. And speaking of blood - sure, there was lots of it, but really, Hostel wasn't even that gory. I found myself wincing maybe twice. And that one character who chainsawed his own leg off? What a dumbass.
And at under 90 minutes it was so incredibly long and drawn out. Like, the first half I kept yelling for it to hurry up and do something other than show two assholes getting drunk, high and laid. And then the second half it was just the same but with blood instead of booze, guns instead of pot and screaming instead of sex. Whoopdeedoo!
And it would appear that the sequel, Hostel II, will ditch the male leads and have a lead trio of women. WOW. Now that, Mr Roth, is progress. D+
By the way, to save you having to look at a picture from the movie, I chose to include a picture of Hostel co-star and major cutie Derek Richardson as he appears in the much less R-rated television series Men in Trees.