High School SHUTTHEFUCKUP!!

...er, High School Musical (2006, dir. Ortega)

Okay this movie bugged the hell outta me and my friends (hi Hannah and Georgie!!) Like... I can see how 12-year-old girls would like it ("omigod Zac Efron is sooo cute" pfft) but other than that how are older people being sucked into this?

What was annoying you may ask? How bout we start with the fact that we didn't actually get to see the high school musical. Like, the whole movie is just the auditions and such. It reminded me of Camp that awful music camp movie from a couple of years back. Like, we kept hearing about how the camp always ends in this big musical yet we saw one performance and that was it and it was all "wtf?".

Or, however the fact that the basketball characters were making fun of the main dude for wanting to sing yet they started singing long before the big 'follow your dream' bit at the end. MAKE UP YOUR GOD DAMNED MINDS! Of course there's the lead chick (Vanessa Anne Hudgins if memory serves me well). She could not act to save her life. especially during her big solo song (I can't remember what it was called). She kept looking at the camera. And that brings me to the shameless act of filming each musical sequence so they can double as music videos!

On the less technical side thing there's the weird sister/brother theatre duo that was just gross and icky and unnecessary. Also, are all high schools in Albaqurkeylurky (sorry, I can't spell... that place that it was set) this big, yet with so few students. The school was huge yet there only seemed to be about 50 students max. And it appears all the guys in school have gym at the exact same time? And they were all too nice. There's a brief moment when one of the token black characters who doubles as a token nerd character complains about the popular people in school, but there is no other evidence that certain groups don't like other groups. Also, why wasn't the cello-playing skater boy in it more? He was the best character!

also, pretty much all the songs were awful and the characters were stupid and none of the songs that characters performed from the musical they were going to put on (in auditions and such) seemed to fit at all. what does that stupid samba performance have to do with 'breaking free'? and also, has that lead chick ever seen a jungle. a fern and an orchid doesn't equal jungle. "whoa, it's like a jungle up here" shut the fuck up, bitch!!! Lastly with the negatives, there is absolutely NO WAY that the lead buy would ever become a pro-basketball. He's, what? 5'9"?

I do have a few positives though!

*At least the kids here looks their age. No 26-year-old overly muscular guys playing 16-year-old juniors or whatever
*Some of the choreography at least was... imaginative
*Seriously, that cello-playing skater boy was awesome for the 15 seconds he was in it.

umm... I think that's about it.

I still find it so bizarre that they decided to set it in JessicaAlbaquaker, New Mexico. And it was filmed in Utah! That's not really a negative towards the film, I just found it odd.

C-