Glenn's 25 Favourite TV Characters Ever...

Why yes, of course! I can't let everybody else have all the list-making fun! By "others" i mean Ja, Lulu, Nat, Joss Whedon (YES!) and, well, everyone else who has read TV Squad recently.

Unfortunately I can't remember how much I liked shows like "Murphy Brown" and those sorts cause I was a wee child, but

The Rules
The RULES are...

No puppets or cartoons.
No mini-series.
No reality show people.
All characters must be regulars on the show.

Honourable Mentions (ones I REALLY wanted to put on): Victor Meldrew (One Foot in the Grave), Basil Fawlty (Fawlty Towers), Darlene Conner (Rosanne), Rose Nylund (The Golden Girls), Lindsay Bluthe (Arested Development), Gina and John (The Games), Ricky Wong (We Can Be Heroes), Elliot (Scrubs), Samantha Jones (Sex and the City), Nina Van Horn (Just Shoot Me...)

25. Nicole Julian (Tammy Lynn Michaels) in Popular
One of the best tv-bitches ever, Nicole Julian is a constant laugh-riot factory. "Sure, I'll put Carmen on the squad... when Hell freezes over and/or Melissa Joan Hart gets nominated for an Oscar" OMGLOL!

24. Sherry Palmer (Penny Johnson) in 24
Another pure unadulterated bitch and I love it. I started watched season three but it just wasn't the same.

23. Larry David (Larry David) in Curb Your Enthusiasm
The defining moment for me with Curb Your Enthusiasm was the episode with the browsing. I WAS BROWSING!!!!

22. Roz (Peri Gilpin) in Frasier
The most unapreciated of the Frasier cast, Roz is actually my favourite. She doesn't always get the good lines herself but she gets a lot of good lines ABOUT her and that's why she's priceless. Oddly enough, she was due to be played by Lisa Kudrow who instead went to play Phoebe Buffet who is coming up later!

21. Marie Barone (Doris Roberts) in Everybody Loves Raymond
I know a lot of you guys hate this show, but I'll be damned if Doris Roberts didn't deserve every single prize she won. She is absolutely hysterical.

20. Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) in The X-Files
I was a big X-Files fan back in the day (ya know, when it was good) and Scully was always my favourite. I always prefer the brainy female to the man (as you'll see, there is only one male character in my Top 15!)

19. Sophie Petrillo (Estelle Getty) in The Golden Girls
Blanche: We just rented that movie Aliens, it scared us half to death.
Sophia: I found it scary too. That Sigourney Weaver is a sweet girl but she really shouldn't go without makeup.

Nuff said.

18. Anya (Emma Caulfield) in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I'm still reeling from her death, okay! My favourite Anya moment is her fear of bunnies getting the best of her during "I've Got A Theory" in the musical episode. IT MUST BE BUNNIES! BUNNIES! BUNNIIIIEEES!

17. Mike Moore (Rob Sitch) in Frontline
Most of you guys wouldn't have even heard of this Australian comedy but my god is it funny! Rob Sitch is priceless as the hapless idiot current affairs host.

16. and 15. Jack McFarland (Sean Hayes) and Karen Walker (Megan Mullaley) in Will & Grace
Yes, he didn't change his character at all during the entire series, and yes he got annoying after a while, but for the first five or so series, Jack was comedy GOLD! JACK 2000, bitches. Karen? Well, Karen is clearly one of the funniest characters ever in a sitcom. No argument.

14. Willow (Allyson Hannigan) in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
As much as I liked Willow when she went all dark witch and then started to actually do physical stuff, I have a soft spot for her first two or three years when she's a lame high schooler who knows about books and computers. I loved Willow during this time and she embraces the Scooby Spirit.

13. Ellenor Frutt (Camryn Manheim) in The Practice
The Practice was the best show on tv for at least two years. It was during the whole head-in-the-suitcase trial and all that stuff with the killer dressed as a nun (OMG BEST SURPRISE ENDING EVER kthnx). Ellenor was always my favourite. I really felt for her. Whenever she'd get on her soap box about how much money she earned I would cheer with her "Yeah! You do deserve more money than Eugene!

12. Mary Cherry (Leslie Grossman) in Popular
My god, how funny is Mary Cherry? PRETTY FUCKIN' FUNNY, that's how much! I love her in the musical season one finale "Mary Cherry, you carry around a vile of ecoli poisoning in her bag?" "A girl never knows when she's gonna have to lose the odd fifty pounds" She's a classic.

11. Phoebe Buffet (Lisa Kudrow) in Friends
Without a doubt one of the funniest characters ever. I just wish they didn't turn her all normal in the last few seasons. But who can ever forget "Smelly Cat"?

10. Lucille Bluth (Jessica Walter) in Arrested Development
LUCILLE: I care for all my kids equally!
(cut to one week earlier)
LUCILLE: I don't care for Gob...

HYSTERICAL! I love her scream whenever Bob Parmasan shows up! That's hilarious.

9. Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) in Twin Peaks
Do I really need to justify this? Coffee and pie!

8. Clare Fisher (Lauren Ambrose) in Six Feet Under
I seriously felt like I grew up with Clare. Clare makes me wish I was a struggling bohemian artist doing drugs and having lots of sex, she's that cool. Except for the whole boyfriend turning out to be psychopath thing (and boyfriend having sex with her male teacher thing)...

7. Hyacinth Bucket (Patricia Routledge) in Keeping Up Appearances
Aww, poor Hyacinth. All she wants is to be well thought of in an upper-class social scene, but alas it was never to be. The woman who pronounces her name "bouquet" never fails to get laughs, whether it's making up elaborate stories to disguise her white trash leanings, constantly making her neighbour spill her tea or telling stories about her gay son who she clearly has no idea about.

6. Catherine Martell (Piper Laurie) in Twin Peaks
The best traditional villain! I love her so much, she's my favourite Twin Peaks resident. My favourite moment though is when she is forced to beg for help from her husband. God she's good.

5. Ja'mie King (Chris Lilley) in We Can Be Heroes
The best bitch EVER!!! Quite simply the funniest thing to come out of Australia in a decade, Ja'mie is non-stop laughs. Whether she's describing her sponsor children ("I call this one Brown Eyes because of the brown eyes") or just talking about how insanely hot she is ("I didn't ask to be born hot"), she never fails to entertain. And we have Ja'mie to thank for making "Fugly Slag" the best catchphrase of last year.

4. Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar) in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Just listen to the way she rolls that awesome dialogue off her tongue. How she got ignored so often by awards groups is beyond me. But Buffy is Buffy and we have her forever. Except season six. That was depressing (apart from Once More With Feeling)


3. Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak (Bea Arthur) in The Golden Girls
Hands down, the funniest character on the list. Every single line, essentially, sends me into fits of laughter. Sarcasm has never been funnier.

Rose: I wish there was something I could do... I know! I'll make my world-famous ice cream clown sundaes! You know, the kind with the little raisin eyes and the sugar cone caps.
Dorothy: Wow, Rose, if that doesn't fill the void, nothing will.

2. Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell) in Veronica Mars
I'm pretty adament that this is one of the greatest characterisations ever. I love Veronica Mars, she's hilarious. There's not really much else to say.

1. Elaine Benes (Julia Louis Dreyfus) in Seinfeld
I'm speechless. I am without speech! Seriously, everything about her is hilarious. From the Peurto Rican Day Parade, to the Pez Despenser, the dancing, throwing the toupee out of the window... comedy GOLD, people!

I'd also like to give a shoutout to Christine (Sandra Oh) from Grey's Anatomy and Brenda Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) from The Closer who are fast on their way to becoming all time favourites. They make good tv, y'all. And in the spirit of Nat's version of the list I present to you the two hottest characters for me on tv at some point or another.


Sheriff Truman (Michael Ontkean) from Twin Peaks and McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) from Grey's Anatomy. I have a totally unnatural crush on Twin Peaks' local law enforcer. And I'd like to put it on record that I thought Dempsey was all sorts of hot and dreamy *before* Grey's Anatomy. Before the show started I was even commenting to friends that it had Patrick Dempsey and that he was, indeed, dreamy so I'm not like the rest of these people in heat at the thought of him in scrubs. I thought he was mcspecial before Grey's. So... yeah.