July 26, 2006

Hilary Stupid

Hilary Swank is stupid, that fact is pretty much well-known, and now she's jumped on the horror movie bandwagon AND the religion bandwagon at the same time? Next thing she's gonna tell is that she grew up in a trailer park! The reason I'm making this post is because of the annoying tagline. It's so freakin' long. The only two taglines that were this long that worked were She's the Man, which was funny in the same way this one is bad. That one described the plot, but made a joke out of it. The other tagline was Maria Full of Grace, but that one really made you get in the mindset of the movie and of Maria. I hate The Reaping's tagline because it could've been so much better than just a plot rundown. Plus, the wording is really weird. I think it's the use of the word "bizarre". When your tagline needs three seperate paragraphs, you're not going good. What about "The Trailer Park Bites Back?" or "The Trailer Park Will Get You Too!" Okay, I don't know what they have to do with the movie, but I hate Hilary Swank and the trailer park she came from (I wish she'd go back there).

Actually, scrap that last bit, cause if she did go back there it would give her for speech fodder *shudder*. Worst. Oscar. Speech. Ever.

The full poster can be seen here

Sorry, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, She's the Man was pretty hilariously ridiculous. I predict The Reaping to just be plain ol' ridiculous. In the bad sense. And seriously, the hair is pissing me off (for both Hilari Skank in her low-rise jeans and the nameless girl beside her.)

In the end, it just looks like a silly horror movie featuring a bunch of locusts. SCARY! I think Hilary's ELBOWS are scarier than that, swank you very much.

One concession is that they didn't put (and it pains me to type it) "Two Time Academy Award Winner" or something like that, right at the top above her name.

4 comments:

RC said...

that's pretty funny, i love your rant and the wording is horrible...

"that many believe to have been the 10 biblical plagues."

come on, your not creating mood w/ a phrase like this, your creating wordiness.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

HAHA! THANK YOU!

Glenn Dunks said...

RC, i know! The wordiness is just strange, especially for a horror movie. Or, whatever genre it is.

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