This Week in Australian Cinemas

It's time to find out how poorly distributers treat us. And look, it's really poorly! Although we do get another big blockbuster at the same time as America. We got MI3, Da Vinci Code and now X3 on time, but where is Poseidon though?

LOL, i know.


X-Men: The Last Stand, dir. Ratner
While everybody out there is getting angry at Brett Ratner for making this movie, I choose a different tactic. I choose to get angry at the greedy dimwit Bryan Singer. Everybody goes on about how much affection he had for these characters and all that bullshit, well, he didn't care about them enough to finish the franchise but instead jumped ship to another superhero altogether. So don't blame Ratner (entirely) if the third X-Men movie isn't as good. It doesn't help that everyone praises Singer something chronic but what has he done other than X-Men? The Usual Suspects? Yeah, that was alright. But, Apt Pupil anyone?

Anyway, so now we have the third and final film in the X-Men series, barring the Wolverine spin-off, which I actually sorta hope is a porno but still stars Hugh Jackman (just sayin'). It looks pretty good. I intend to see it. ...that's all I have to say really.

Take the Lead, dir. Friedlander
Hey look! They've mixed the inspirational teacher genre, the ghetto inspiration genre AND the urban-music genre into one big colossal blob and somebody chucked Antonio Banderes and Alfre Woodard in there for extra cringeness. I admit I will see it on DVD (for Woodard and the dancing) but Holy Cliche, Batman! The fact that it's based on a true story (supposedly) is scary too. Question - why is Alfre Woodard's character's name Augustine James. Like... wtf?

Seperate Lies, dir. Fellows
The Academy Award winning screenwriter of The Pianist turns his hand to directing in this British thriller-of-words (you know the type). This one actually looks quite intriguing but was, for some reason, met with zero interest upon it's American release. Stars Tom Wilkinson, Emily Watson and Rupert Everett (as a straight man!) Most likely a DVD film.

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, dir. Jones
I find it very odd that this film was never written about in terms of box-office. To me it looked like a surprise hit, but nobody else thought so. er, I don't really have anything to say about this movie. Again, it's another DVD movie for me (if at all). Something tells me this movie would be a slog to sit through. I'm very 50/50 on westerns.

Last Holiday, dir. Wang
Question - why is Wayne Wang directing this? I've only seen The Center of the World and the fantastic Joy Luck Club of his, but this just doesn't seem like his jive, if you know what I mean. Yet again, I'll see this on DVD purely for Queen Latifah. Ms Latifah is the only African American who can launch a film in Australia that relies on the "urban" market. Movies like Diary of a Man Black Woman, Soul Food, Barbershop etc rarely get theatrical releases and when they do they do very poorly. Australia just doesn't respond to them I suppose (I, however, LOVED Soul Food and thought Barbershop was quite cute). Latifah seems to be able to get her films to open here and to do... moderately. I can't say this movie sounds exciting, but watching the Queen live it up in expensive Europe surrounded by Gerard Depardieu, Timothy Hutton, LL Cool J, Alicia Witt, Giancarlo Esposito and Jane Adams does sound mildly amusing. Plus... all that food.

That's all for this week. Candy moves into national release. On "At the Movies" Margaret Pomeranz gave it 4.5/5 and while David wasn't as enthusiastic he did give it 3.5/5. I did personally love the moment when David was praising Heath Ledger and said (i quote) "I think Heath Ledger, if anybody still thinks Heath Ledger is a lightweight actor, they'd better think again, because after this and Brokeback Mountain he's an extraordinary young actor."

BOX-OFFICE
1. The Da Vinci Code (1)
2. Mission Impossible III (3)
3. The Benchwarmers (2)
4. Ice Age 2: The Meldown (7)
5. Slither (1)
6. Eight Below (5)
7. The World's Fastest Indian (7)
8. Kokoda (5)
9. Final Destination 3 (4)
10. Hidden (3)

Not much to mention. Da Vinci vaccuums out the entire chart. Comparison. Da Vinci made $8.6mil and Hidden made $124,000. That's... wow. Way to go Hidden though. Taking advantage of the lack of good arthouse work out there, managed to climb a few spots and claim a Top 10 spot despite falling 19% in takings. This and Water are two of the biggest foreign titles in a while.

Benchwarmers somehow manages to fall only 14%, while Ice Age 2, World's Fastest Indian and Kokoda all fall between 30-40%. Kokoda should make $3mil in a couple of weeks, which is good news. Unmitigated flops? They would be Two For the Money falling 65% with a current grand total of $466,000, and Slither which makes #5 on the back of a whopping $229,000.

That's all for this week.