April 14, 2006

6 Most Annoying Screen Characters Ever

These are the six (I couldn't figure out who to get rid of) movie characters/performances that annoyed the hell outta me the most. These aren't necessarily the worst PERFORMAMNCES (although they're definitely right up there), it's just that these are the ones the bug me the most. I'm sorta bored.

1. Earl Montgomery, played by Martin Lawrence in National Security (2003)

*shudder* Worst. Movie. Ever. And a lot of that has to do with this character. He's one of those characters that will BLOW UP a police academy and then blame white people for not allowing him to become a cop. This is a character who when a policeman asks what he's doing trying to get his arm inside a car window will then proceed to assault the policeman and call him a "nazi". The whole movie was a horrible disgusting racist dull affair. This character was the creek that runs through all the low valleys.

2 Amy Sumner, played by Susan George in Straw Dogs (1971)

I seriously just wanted this bitch to shut up! I mean, her husband played by Dustin Hoffman wasn't much better (he just missed the list) but my god, you are a stupid stupid woman! You overreact and the slightest god-damned thing and then when you don't get your way you chuck a tanty like you're the queen motherfuckin' bee. YOU'RE NOT!! And do NOT even get me started on her not telling her husband about being anally raped by the men who killed their cat. Christ.

3. Billy Brown, played by Vincent Gallo in Buffalo '66 (1998)

It doesn't help that this trite movie was everythinged by Gallo that he thought his character could be such a horrible disgusting beast. The moment that I realised Gallo was an asshole as was the character was the scene when he is standing at a urinal and a man is staring at his penis and Gallo responds something along the lines of "what are you looking at? Haven't you seen anything that big before?" or whatever the dumbass line is.

4. Nicky, played by Adam Sandler in Little Nicky (2000)

I have bad memories of this movie. I saw it in a movie marathon right before the brilliant Bring It On. The reason it was particularly worse than it normally would've been was that there were guys next to me who thought it was sooo hilarious that they felt the need to CLAP. Nevermind that Adam Sandler is at his irritating worst or that the movie itself is a crapshoot. That voice, that face, that EVERYTHING. This whole character is just annoying as all hell. Why would anyone wanna like him? Blech.

5. Tommy Rag, played by Timothy Spall in Vacuuming Completely Nude in Paradise

God, all I gotta say is, TURN IT DOWN. I'm not a fan of Timothy Spall at the best of times, but this character and this performance are just all so terribly miscalculated and wrong. His constant screaming is just... maddening.

6. Dracula, played by Richard Roxburgh in Van Helsing (2004)

I love Richard, but holy jesus, has Dracula always been this puncy and rediculous? That accent is attrocious, as is basically everything else this Dracula does. Doesn't help that the film makes no sense and is dumb a sign post. Just... no.

1 comment:

Glenn Dunks said...

hah, Nobody should have to go through the pain of having a child related to that despicable vile creature.

(hi Colby!)