January 18, 2006

The Golden Globes Were Actually a Good Watch!!

I know, I'm sorta surprised. It's as if everybody who made a heavy-topic picture or tv series decided to lighten up and joke around! Or, for the most part anyway.

Actually, before I get into that I wanna bring your attention to this article. It is SO true. Movies are way too long these days. It may be because I'm impatient or something - but a comedy does NOT need to be two hours (here's lookin' at you Wedding Crashers even though you were pretty good) and movies like King freakin' Kong do not need to be three hours and seven minutes.

I particularly like what some lady called Ms Green says on behalf of Terrance Malick - "'He always had it in mind that he would make a longer version that would allow people to take bathroom breaks,'"

Although I am not of the opinion that films should be substantially cut just for the sake of time and then released in the proper edition for DVD, I am of the opinion that if a film doesn't need to be 3 hours and 7 minutes then it shouldn't be. And it is true that because we see all the trailers, we see the clips and we read about it, as we're watching movies we're subconsciously piecing the movie together, using our brains in ways we shouldn't while watching a film, and thus making the film feel longer.

Anyway, GLOBES!

Best Picture, Drama - Brokeback Mountain

I picked this correctly. Didn't everyone?

Best Director - Ang Lee

I picked this correctly. I doubt it was close between Ang and George, to be honest. GN&GL seems to be washed away by Brokeback

Best Screenplay - Brokeback Mountain

Yay! I predicted GN&GL though.

Best Actor, Drama - Phillip Seymour Hoffman

Sigh. I predicted Heath. God, I really hate this guy. He's even worse than Paul Giamatti. YA, I KNOW! Didn't think the whole "Look at me! I'm a schlub" could get any lower and desperate than Paul (who really tried to outdo himself tonight with that beard)? Well, here ya go. Look at him on stage. He looks like a disgusting slob - it's called decorum, Phil. Learn it. Love it.

Best Actress, Drama - Felicity Huffman

I predicted Maria Bello in some ill-advised mind spasm. However, Felicity lost for Desperate Housewives so it's not like she got two.

Best Picture, Musical/Comedy - Walk the Line

Picked Pride & Prejudice here. Didn't feel very "Best Picture" like, but they liked it. Surely it's Best Picture slot with AMPAS feels more solid now, right?

Best Actor, Musical/Comedy - Joaquin Phoenix

Ya, picked this. 'twas easy.

Best Actress, Musical/Comedy - Reese Witherspoon

Easiest pick of the night. Way to go Reese. I loves ya.

Best Supporting Actor - George Clooney

Interesting! Could THIS be the category they reward him at the Oscars? I dunno. He doesn't have the Brokeback competition in AMPAS due to Original/Adapted splitting. However, he did gain weight and speak a foreign language. So glad I didn't have to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman AND Paul Giamatti on stage in one night. I don't think I could've coped to see those two boring schlubs be all boring and schlubby on stage. Dear Paul Giamatti... FUCK OFF AND DIE, PLZ!!!!!

Best Supporting Actress - Rachel Weisz

OMGYAY! Just... excellent! Loves it. I haven't seen Brokeback and while it would've been great to see Michelle win, i loved seeing Rachel on stage. WTF Rach, you deserve it.

Best Original Score - Memoirs of a Geisha

...ummm

Best Original Song - Brokeback Mountain

Oh, YAY! Love this song. Glad it won. Glad Gustavo won something.

Notable TV Awards

Best Supporting Actress - Sandra Oh

O. MI. GOD.

SANDRA OH! When this was announced Hannah, Georgie and I just SCREAMED so freakin' loud. I can't believe she won. I was so freakin' happy. And seeing Sandra be so excited about it made me happy again. It was sad seeing her getting continuously ignored last year for Sideways despite being the second best thing in it (after Virginia). Just... so bloody happy! I loved it. Sandra rocks. She's always supurb. Whether it be in Grey's Anatomy or in support in movies like Under the Tuscan Sun, however my favourite Oh performance is that in Dancing at the Blue Iguana - one that actually had me welling up. I LOVE YOU SANDRA!!!!!!

Best Actress, Drama - Mary Louise Parker

I've never seen Weeds, but it sounds great. Maybe this will mean they actually decide to air it in Australia!

STUFF!
Best Win - Sandra Oh!

Best Speech - Geena Davis - so funny. "Actually, that didn't happen". Oh so regal. Glad to have you back, babe - even if you do look like the 50 foot woman.
Runner-ups - Hugh Laurie, Felicity Huffman, Steve Carrell

Best Reaction - dude, is there any alternative? Definitely Sandra Oh! I don't think I've seen a winner more excited. She deserved every bit of it and seeing her so excited made it even better. Even when they read her name out she was jumping with glee - if that didn't bring a smile to your face you are a COLD INHUMANE BEAST (and you probably worship Paul Giamatti and possibly Phillip Seymour Hoffman too).

Oddest Win - Memoirs of a Geisha for Original Score. Like... oh well

Most Unexpected Win - Mary Louise Parker for Weeds.
Runner-up - Sandra Oh!

Most Boring Category - Best TV Drama. I only watch Grey's Anatomy (CIC and Prison Break aren't on tv here yet) and while I don't care that it didn't win it's annoying that it lost to, well, Lost. This category is so blah. What happened to all the great dramas on tv? Even if I was a fan of Lost I'd still say this category is sorely lacking.

TV Series I Didn't Realise Got As Many Nominations - Rome. WTF?

Award-Winner Who Won For Multiple Things - Duh, George Clooney winning for everything despite only actually getting one statue.

Globes' Favourite Performance-Type - Actors playing dead people. They love this even more than AMPAS I think (well, they DO have more categories for it)

Disturbing Trend That I Noticed This Year - ACTORS IN HOLLYWOOD NOT KNOWING HOW TO PRONOUNCE OTHER ACTORS' NAMES. See, "Pierce Bronsan" and "Laura Linley" for perfect examples.

Disturbing Trend That Continued This Year - Formerlly great actors (no, not actors, actresses) are now relegated to TV movies. For this year's examples see Mira Sorvino. Uma Thurman used her Hysterical Blindness perf to move to greater things, so here's hoping with Mira!

Possibly Great Trend That May or May Not Continue in the Future - Politics Now! Syriana, Constant Gardener, Paradise Now. I love that if this happened in the 70s it would've been considered normal but nowadays so many people are all "LEFTIES ARE TAKING OVER!!!!" go away plz.

Best Individual Speech Moment - S. Epatha Merkerson claiming she was 53 and that the performance for which she had just won (and also won the Emmy for) was her VERY FIRST LEAD ROLE! How is it that such wonderful women as her only get their first lead role at the age of 53. I suppose it's something that she got anything at that age though
Runner-ups - Ang Lee remembering Geraldine Peroni, Joaquin Phoenix making the annual category confusion joke.

Oddest Presenter - Mariah Carey, because... WTF? And somebody injected something bad into her face. She was all puffy.
Runner-ups - Catherine Denueve (love the lady, but huh?) and Chris Rock (it almost sounded like he was degrading Weeds!)

Most Annoying Personality of the Year - JAMIE FOXX! Wow, two year's in a row. WAY TO GO (this is a cumumlative effort of the awards themselves and the red carpet special). Go away now, plz. You're not Jack Nicholson either so take of the fuckin sunnies.

Most 'Can I Look Back Now?' Moment - Phillip Seymour Hoffman's acceptance speech. Ugh. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF 'PRESENTABILITY'???
Runner-ups - The many times presenters got people's names wrong (read above), presenters not announcing the nominees on cue. eep - I HATE that.

Scariest Moment - Paul Giamatti's beard. Certainly scared the bejesus outta me.
Runner-ups - Realising Charlie Sheen was nominated for Two and the Half Men. How... the... fuck... ???..., the constant praising of Wentworth Miller for his good looks. I'm sorry... he's hot? Whoa, that's news to me.

Oddest Moment - Clint Eastwood having trouble saying "Brokeback Mountain"
Runner-ups - Presenters being unable to pronounce simple names like "Brosnan" and "Linney". Geena Davis crushing everyone and everything in her path to the podi... oh, wait. That didn't happen. Dennis Quaid - "Rhymes with chick flick" (ugh)

Best Nudge-Nudge-Wink-Wink Moment - Emma Thompson

Worst Person To Present An Award - Penelope Cruz. Honey, I like ya - I really do, but only when you're working in Spanish because, love (I said love, I said Pet, I said Love, i said PET!) you can't speak English for the life of ya. WHAT WERE YOU EVEN SAYING?

Best Moment That Wasn't Meant To Be Caught on Camera But In Doing So Provided a Good Laugh - Gwyneth Paltrow showing her disdain during the "Who are the Hollywood Foreign Press?" moment towards the start. The look on her face is priceless.
Runner-ups - Emma Thompson cosying up to Ang Lee, Michelle Williams did not find Dennis Quaid funny, hey look - Renee wasn't squinting so bad! I'm sure it was just because the lights were too dull or something and she'll be back to normal by weeks end.


...that's all I can think to do now. Still happy for Sandra Oh!!

(question: Will AMPAS now decide to be the only awards show to have Heath AND Michelle win - can they resist that op?)

4 comments:

Marcelo said...

Very, very funny!!!

Congrats on perception and wit.

JavierAG said...

Good rundown!! I thought the best speeches were by Geena Davis and Steve Carrell - so fucking hilarious! Also Sandra Oh, of course. Felicity Huffman's "Give me an Oscar!" trick didn't get me though.

Favorite Moment: Rachel Weisz, how much I love you.

Greatest Presenter: Emma Thompson!! Where have you been girl?

I thought the whole Clint/Ang sequence was funny, mainly because it was so odd!

And those priceless shots of David Cronenberg and Viggo Mortensen together... I love both guys.

Very random...

I don't enjoy Hoffman and Giamatti either. Especially Hoffman. At least Giamatti made "Sideways".

And I agree that the political trend is getting stronger and stronger... but me, I'll take "King Kong" over boring "Syriana" every day. And the political film of the year that I loved, "Constant Gardener", I loved not because of its muddled politics but because of the love story. Sue me. Ralph and Rachel set the screen on fire.

So, lovely show. Ultimately predictable results. Oh well.

adam k. said...

I LOVE Geena Davis. Hers was my favorite win of the night, and she was hilarious. Her show is really good, too.

Also, I thought Gwyneth was insanely cute the whole time she was presenting Hopkins' DeMille award.

I have a whole liveblogging thing on my blog.

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