September 16, 2007

Attack of the Press Release from Mars

Press releases can be good for a laugh sometimes. I was bitterly disappointed with the press release for Kanye West's new album - no hysterical boasting? for shame! Yet the press release for 50 Cent proudly asks "Can the defiant former drug dealer from killer Southside Queens..." because nothing says hardcore than a drug dealer from Queens! But, moving on, the one for the Sugababes reaches new heights of hilarity. I love the gals, but whoever's working for them really needs to stop with Microsoft Word's thesaurus function. Observe:

In these boom and bust days of pop groups launching, exploding and disappearing in the night sky like fireworks on a wet Wednesday, the SUGABABES are a rare exception. Certainly, if pop’s supposed to be suffering from lean times, someone forgot to KEISHA BUCHANAN, HEIDI RANGE and AMELLE BERRABAH, as they prepare to unveil their fifth studio album. It’s the first full set in which AMELLE, having now been a SUGABABE for over a year and a half, joins KEISHA and HEIDI on vocals, adding an exciting new slant to the band’s trademark harmonies. The new, invigorated sound coupled with some unexpected changes in musical direction to open a brand new chapter for the country’s favourite girlgroup

"exploding and disappearing in the night sky like fireworks on a wet Wednesday"? What the fuck is that? And they even left out the word "tell" in the second sentence. I did also enjoy this part:

They’re also the first girl group since the 1980s to release more than three hit albums – trouncing Destiny’s Child and the Spice Girls.

Aww. And there's plenty more where that came from! You can read the rest at the PopJustice forums. Lovely.

1 comment:

Adem With An E said...

They should just talk about the never-ending dramas of Amelle's personal life for any future press releases:

"Amelle will rip the hair out of your head if you cross her, and her Gypsy ex-boyfriend will probably rape you at some point too, especially if you're her sister.

Now go buy the album. She knows where you live."

I'm sold.