April 25, 2007

Trusting these Men is dangerous for your health

*contains big spoilers for Trust the Man*

It's always good when lying, cheating, idiot men get the girl in the end, isn't it? You can definitely tell that Trust the Man was written and directed by a man. Only in a movie by a man could the men lie, cheat on their wives and girlfriends, act like complete dickheads and still come out looking like the good guys, when the women who are lied too, cheated on and treated like welcome mats, shockingly, have the gaul to call their men out on it are seen as the bad guys. Only in a movie by a man could a woman (let's say, oh, Maggie Gyllenhaal's character) who has been dating a man (umm, how about Billy Crudup) for over seven years be seen as wrong and desperate and unreasonable for actually wanting to get married and have kids. Because, you know, seven years is nothing.

Only in a movie by a man could the husband (let's say David Duchovny) who cheats on his wife (how about Julianna Moore) with the mother of his kid's friend be the good guy and be seen as sympathetic yet a cheating woman (Eva Mendes) is portrayed as vicious and a maneater and just plain wrong.

Only in a movie where the women are the only ones who seem to actually work for a living are also the ones who act unreasonable when their respective others don't do any work and forget to do things.

Bart Freundlich's Trust the Man is a terrible film. It portrays Duchovny and Crudup's characters as idiot drones who only think about sex and sport as "lovable larrakins" yet the Moore and Gyllenhaal characters are bad people because they actually think there should be more to life. Towards the end of the movie when the two men realise their mistakes they are essentially heralded as Christ figures.

Ugh. It's disgusting.

Not to mention that every side character is five kinds of cliche. The flamboyant theatre director? Check. The gangsta black man? Check. The rude cape-wearing Frenchman? Check. The sharp-shooting lesbian publisher? Check. The therapist who is dealing with his own marriage issues? Check. You can also check off a typical pop-song oriented soundtrack and routine shots of various New York City locations.

The thing is just really insulting. And why does Freundlich hate Julianne Moore (his wife!) so much? She looks terrible in this movie. Lastly, I have to mention the final scenes of the film. The ones in the theatre are some of the worst of the year, surely. So unrealistic and silly. People do not act like that. Even lying cheating idiots like the ones in this movie. This is obviously no upper class theatre-to-do crowd. Why would the crowd care so much about Julianne's husband so much as to clap when it's revealed that he isn't a mad stalker? And, of course, the way Crudup gets Gyllenhaal's attention is by screaming and acting like a baby yet the crowd "oohs" and "aahs" over him. Ugh. SHUT UP! Just dreadful... D


Dave said...

It's been months since I saw this and I can barely remember a thing about it (except that Billy Crudup had weird facial hair and Maggie looked wonderful), but I do now remember the end and how horrible it was. It's supposed to make you feel like the clapping audience but instead just makes you want to vomit.

Basically, I agree, although I think I gave it a better grade than you did. (Why? I know not.)

Kamikaze Camel said...

Billy Crudup's facial hair is just another part of what makes his character a horrible retched idiot.

That end... my god. I can't believe Maggie and Juli could keep a straight face during that.

BTW, when did Billy Crudup age, like, 30 years? Apart from just the general ugliness of his character, he looked really old and worn down and sort of skeezy.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Oh, wait. That whole dumping a 7-months preggers Mary Louis Parker for Clare Danes probably robbed him of his youth.